My Facebook realization

Within the last 3 weeks my view of the world has changed. Not the global world just my world. I began to hear about 'FACEBOOK'. I began to watch it suck time and productivity from the co-workers around me. I saw as they looked at (and mocked) pictures of other's friends and got a private glimpse into their lives.

I thought that Facebook was a bad idea. Not in and of itself, but for me personally. There are those around who already think that I share too much of who I am through this blog, and while I understand their point I make sure to keep this blog separate from other aspects of my world.

To me, Facebook was ANOTHER layer of exposure that I didn't really want. And then it began...... I started to connect with people I hadn't seen in a long time, see the people in common. I was still hesitant though to put my picture up and really get involved. I said that I wanted to keep work and personal separate, and that was true... but what I found myself Really Thinking was, "I don't live my life the way other people I work with do and I don't want their content to be linked with mine".

I was concerned about 'my image' and 'my brand' if you will. I realized that I didn't want my church friends to think that I associated on a personal level with some of the poeple at work, whose lifestyles don't represent who I am.

I realized this morning though, that Jesus wasn't afraid to tarnish His image, He wasn't afraid of what others might think. He simply went out, hung out and changed people's lives.

This doesn't mean that I have to go and do what they do, but I will now count it an honour when someone from work, invites me into their network, it means that those who need the Lord, have a connecting point through my life.

I loved what Pastor Barry said yesterday in the service about the Nails. "If this sanctuary is filled with Christians, we are not going to do the play anymore" . It was his call to us to fill the pews with those who NEED to hear the message of the Cross.

Coming down to the Wire

It is almost time for Easter!!! And that means an amazing opportunity to tell the story of Jesus. It is humbling to be part of the telling of the the most important story ever!

Invite everyone you know!!!

Girly Girls and Manly Men

Tonight I had an amazing time! We had a games night at Tracy and Aerie's.

I thought that this meant we were going to be playing board games. Instead, we played poker (for no money) and then the girls played the game of getting our pictures taken. I felt like a kid again! We giggled and laughed and goofed around, and the men talked about guy stuff. Then we we did what every group of people do. We spent close to an hour sitting on the floor in the front foyer with our coats on having the most indepth conversation of the whole NIGHT!!!

I love getting to know "new" people and learning more about those I have known for a long time!

Love it.

Blessing #15

I love spring!!!

Today's blessing is the beautiful weather, I came home tonight, in the bright sunlight, to find that kids were outside playing!!

I LOVE it

What makes a Warrior?

It seems odd to write about warriors on a blog that pirmarily is read by women, however, I am struck by an interesting question.

What is a warrior? What makes a warrior?

Tonight while watching TV, I saw 2 shows with Warrior themes. The boys on Survivor called themselves warriors, and on the show Friday Night Lights, I watched as warriors navigated life off the field.

On Survivor, there was a conflict about who to vote off (as there always is), and the newly formed tribe of all men, had to decide between the brash, volatile strong member and the weaker but more even-keeled member of thier tribe. Who to keep? Whose resources would take the tribe the furthest. It was interesting to watch as physically strong men debated about the value of brawn over an even-keel.

In friday Night Lights, a group of teenaged football players (who look more grown up than anyone I remember from highschool) and their coach navigate through life in small town Texas, where God and football hold an almost equal place (although if push came to shove I think that Football would win every time!). The players are heroes-warriors- and as the football team goes, so goes the town. I love this show because apart from being a show that promotes good values and isn't afraid of having a character call themselves 'sinner', it showcases one of the most inspiring cultures in our day-the football culture.

There is something about football. It captures the imagination, it is inspiring. I love football movies and I love movies about boys growing through circumstances and coming out as a team. I love the idea that you sacrifice for the team, that you put all you have into the game, and leave everything on the field.

Many times, ultimately, the success of the goal is dependant not on the coaches, but how the team gels and how the players inspire one another.

How would our churches be different if we all wore a jersey and took on an opponent with the possibility of injury? Would we play harder or would we shrink to the sides and let the other team trample us. Too often as Christians we seek to meek, because we think it is holier.

I think though, that if Jesus were alive today, and played a sport, it wouldn't be tennis, or soccer, or baseball, those are all too genteel. I am sure that the table-turning, cross-bearing, stand up against the whole system, Jesus that I serve would likely have been an O-line slugger, big, bulky and powerful. This is the God who said that the "Kingdom suffers violence and the violent take it by force".

It is not all about the brawn though, we don't just need the chest-pounding brutes who can take out the D-line. We also need strategic runners who can be in position, who can read the changing play and who can respond to conditions that are unexpected. We need thinkers, doers, and the strong ones to stand in front and protect the quarterback.

What is a warrior? Someone with the integrity to do what is right, the strength to make their presence known and a strategic mindset to think on their feet and anticipate what the 'Coach' is wanting to accomplish.

Let's get a Kingdom mindset. Where is the enemy feeling our presence? Let's get it going!

Bring on the Warriors!

Blessing # 14

I had the amazing privilege of spending time with one of the ladies from work. She is a fabulous beautiful woman who is 21 and figuring out her life. I admire her beauty and desire for greatness. I am inspired by her youthful idealism-anything is possible in her world, and more than that she 'deserves' the best.

Mostly though, I am humbled by God's grace, that He has given me wisdom to speak into her life. It is interesting to see when someone really 'hears' what you have to say. I feel like given the right people around her, she could catapult over all of our previous mistakes and take her life to a whole level we in our healing process can only dream about.

AND... she is not a Christian.... please pray for her

Blessing #13

I am having a bit of an "off' day. Not sure what the deal is.. but here's the blessing!

I know that whatever I am going through, I don't go through it alone. Jesus is one who is "familliar with sorrow and aquainted with grief". I wouldn't call what I am feeling anything even close to 'sorrow' or grief but knowing Jesus knows all about it makes me feel like my 'off' day is still in His hands and plans and that tomorrow will be better!

As well, I know that tomorrow evening I will be surrounded by amazing women in our life group.

Blessing 12- taken care of!

What a great day!

All day long I felt very taken care of! Hanging out at the lake with parents who are so generous! My choice of special breakfast, then hanging out, chatting and sitting in front of a roaring fire with a card game! Love it.

As I gathered up my things to leave the Lake, my father took my keys, cleaned the snow off my car and let it warm up! I haven't gotten into a warm car in a LONG time!

Then tonight, a new friend offered to drive to a very fun time of bowling! I offered gas money but she wouldn't take it!

What a nice time of having my needs met!

Thanks God!

Blessing #11

I awoke this morning, beside a lake, the new snow had blanketed the ground, giving it a fresh face.

We spent about 1 hour watching the birdies at the various feeders.

It is amazing experience to experience nature up close with those who take the time to enjoy the animals. To them each has its own habits and personality. You are never alone in this world if you take the time to get to know the birds and the squirrels.

Blessing #9 (Backtracking)

I am so blessed to have an amazing family. It has been a few weeks since I have seen my dad and step-mother... all week I have been antcipating the visit!

Love it

Which trail Leads up??

How do we find the right balance?
What is God really calling us to?

I have often tried to lose weight, I have tried different methods and plans, all of them have failed because the common denominator in each of them is to remove something completely from your life and eating habits. Then there is TV. I love to watch TV, I love the stories and the characters.

In each case, what feels most 'holy' is to learn to abstain completely, the problem with this is that the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. I am a tenacious (some say stubborn) person in most areas, however, in denying myself something that I enjoy is not one of them. I have in the past always failed, and as a result always felt as though I was letting God down.

My greatest desire is not to be successful in denying myself what is not good for me but rather to train myself to desire that which is beneficial. There has to be a replacement for what is being given up. If I desired salad over chocolate, my problems would be solved!!

There are a couple of major life changes that I feel God is calling me to. I am beoming intensly aware of the amount of TV that I watch and more importantly the effect that it has on my spirit and my time. There are nights when even though I am tired, and that I have to get up in morning, I stay up to watch a program. At the end of it, I am disappointed in myself and feel as though I have let God down- again. There is a side of me that wants to be able to turn off the TV forever and chuck it out the window. That is the Pharisee in me... I say that because I know that I would then wear no TV like a badge of honour, and it would become about not watching TV and not about following the heart of God.

Which path will get me where I know God wants me to go?

There seems to be a thread of change occurring in the ladies of Life Centre... probably the men too but I am not as tapped into that... most of that life breakthrough seems to come out of fasting. I am ready to go to the next level.

I have picked up my gear and I am looking to the trail guide to point the next direction.

Have a great weekend.

Blessing #10

Last night I went to a LifeGroup with a whole bunch of ladies. We had an amazing time!! We shared, we laughed, we learned. It was so great to see people step out in Faith to believe the good things for other people. For some it was their first time connecting faith to prayer. This is transforming!!

The primary blessing was getting to know some of the women better, hearing their joys & pains.... cue MC Hammer!

I realized after about an hour of chatting and laughing, that it has been a long time since I breathed the fresh air of a new friend. People you get to know better through conversation can surprise and delight you!

I thank God for His familiy of Warrior Women who can come from every race, background and station in life and yet manage to find the common ground! I love it...

Thanks Ladies for being so generous with your firendship.

OK OK OK I feel the LOVE!

Tracy! My friend...... has proven to me that she is committed to commenting! To the tune of 20 comments!

You are an investor Tracy..... I love that you know how much comments can uplift a blogging girl's day. It feels pretty great to see "20 comments" beside a blog.... even if it IS a shameless plea for attention!!!!!!!!!!

I also learned that there cyber-spectators who read but never comment! I love it!

Was it something I said???

OK ladies and gentlemen (is that better Gary??)... I am not feelin' the love.... what's with no comments???

Blessing #8

WOW.. Spring really has sprung.

The blessing is that this morning when taking out my garbage, I was more worried about mud than frostbite!!

I LOVE SPRING.........

Different thinking on the Mountainside

In the midst of a process of change in our lives there are often heart issues that need resolution before we can begin to address the behaviours. In other circumstances, there is not only a heart issue but also a situation where a change in your thinking needs to take place. Often times, I have found that this is the hardest step of all. It is the part of the process that trips up great people and keeps them going around and around the mountain of their walk. I have revisted the same situations and patterns repeatedly because I didn't rely on God to change my thinking.

I am passionate about learning from great leaders. I love it when you get a glimpse of the thought process behind an action. I suppose that is why Blogging is such an amazing tool. Reading as Lori , Tracy, Tim Sanders or Jason share about the process they are going through, I feel like they have opened a door and let us see inside their hearts and minds. There is so much power in the way that we think. I have watched in amazement as my own plans and dreams and desires fall underfoot when exposed to the harsh realities of my own insecurities and fears. The scripture "as a man thinks in his heart, so he is" is so true! I have had so many life changing ideas, strategies and plans that in the light of day fade to impossibility because I allow my thoughts to derail me.

When change is on the horizon of my life, I am trying to learn a better way. I have found it helpful to think ahead and begining to try to anticipate how I will react in my spirit and mind. Last summer 2 ladies I know ran a marathon. As they talked me through what it was like, I realized that they had done their mental homework. One talked of bringing earphones and music because she knew that there would be monotonous miles of pavement, and she knew that if they talked the whole time it would drain their energy. They had put thought into the obstacles that they might encounter on the way. We also this anytime that we travel, we think ahead and look for possible situations and try to take steps to meet those situations head on.

Often as I watch an athlete take the field (or ice), or when I see an actor accept a major award, I begin to try and imagine what that feels like to achieve a major dream. What does the hockey player think when his name is announced for the first time during an NHL game? Does he remember all the summer afternoons playing ball hockey, in his mind defeating his role models?
I know that there must be something different in the way that they think, because otherwise greatness would not be theirs.

I have begun to implement this idea into major life changes. Ultimately God sees us through and leads us and guides us, however, I think that it greatly increases our chances for success if we try to anticipate the challenges we will face, and then set up a guard of prayer around those moments. Trouble is inevitable and challenge will always be a part of our walk. However, I believe that we can be one step ahead and pray through these situations rather than allow them to catch us offguard.

Is there a mountain you have revisited many times?

Blessing #7

An amazing morning of Worship. Leeland is anointed of God!

For those who missed it..... think of them as the next U2 with the heart of Delirious

Blessing # 6

On Thursday, work was slow and so we got out early. I love "found time". I always get more done in found time than when I schedule time.
During my found time, I went to the mall to pick up some things that I needed and got a REALLY great deal on some amazing hair products.

Heart then Action

We have been talking about the process of change. How sometimes we get to those moments in our lives when we stop and rest and then stay. I have found that when I am in a place I don't want to be and that "itchy" feeling comes over me to move ahead in the purposes of God, there is a process even to responding to God's calling.

I believe that there are 2 types of obedience:
1)response required immediately- These are the moments when God asks you to walk across a room and touch someone's life. Or when there is a clear command to stop and change. If God speaks to you and expects IMMEDIATE response, to not respond is the same as disobedience.

2)obedience to change: this is a call to a major paradigm shift in your heart. A new direction or calling. Like someone who feels the call of God to the mission field. There is a whole long process that has to be undertaken in order to do that well. To suddenly get on a plane to Africa with no passport, medication, financial support or even a landing place would be stupid.

Sometimes, I think that we hear the Voice of the Lord leading us into major life changes without putting in the homework required to do that life change well. There was a Message that Jay preached about this very subject. The biggest take away for me was that God is always more interested in changing our hearts than our behaviours. If God is prompting you to lose weight, it is because there is a heart issue that could be keeping you from the fullest relationship with God. To short change the process for a heart issue and deal only with the behaviour can be frustrating and cause us to need to revisit that place to learn the heart issues.

Are there pending acts of obedience that require a process?

Itching to move forward

As wonderful as resting points are in our lives there inevitably comes a point when we get bored. We look around and see that others have continued the climb and are calling down that the view is even better. I am beginning to experience a period of discontenment in my life, I feel as though what has been worked out in my life and heart, while amazing, has lost the lustre of new discovery.

I suppose that it would be easy to become like the Isrealites and complain and seem to forget what God has accomplished in me, but I have learned that this feeling is just the beginning of a process. It is that feeling that there must be more.This feeling leads us to discover that there is always more in God. Eventually, we find ourselves in a catalytic moment. Where an event or a decision will launch us into the next stage of the journey. I know that we have all felt this at some point. Ladies, I sometimes compare it to PMS. If you are not paying attention, those cranky days and the mood swings are confusing until 1 week later when the cause of the turmoil is remembered and suddenly the issues that loomed large the week before take on thier due perspective.

It is a sign of a maturing faith when we can see these "symptoms" early on and accept them for what they are... part of the process. Right now, in my life I have that uncomfortable feeling. That time when what was stable and peaceful has become boring. The natural response to this feeling is to begin change. To set up new ideas and guidlines for our lives. "I am going to get up and spend time in the word." or many other statements that begin with "Tomorrow I'm gonna...". Some of us go shopping, change our hair or any other natural action to change where we are to where we think we need to be. The problem though is too often this change is temporary and relies on our feelings. When that happens we lose hope and we question God and our own ability to hear His voice.

I have come to realize that the reason I fail in those moments is because I haven't waited for the timing of God. More on that later.

What action do you take when you feel like your life has plateaued?

Plateaus have Great views

There has been much discussion within "The Blogger's Guild" (this is an unofficial band of women within TLC who blog) about the journeys we have been on and how God has been bringing us to a deeper place in Him.

Every once in a while I know that there are Plateau in our walk with God. Those places of rest after a long struggle to conquer the next thing God has us to conquer. I know that these are important places of rest and resupply for the next push to the summit.

It is easy however to forget that these places are temporary stopping points on a journey. If we stay there we die-harsh I know but true. In the natural, climbers don't take enough supplies to stay in any one spot for too long. In our spiritual life, however, there is a temptation to have that "I've arrived" feeling about what we have just walked through.

When I first started Blogging, I was on an upward climb. What I was experiencing in my life was tough slugging. I was climbing. Then I reached a resting point. A point where I can see the sights, amaze at the wonder of God, and be happy with the progress I am making. Here's the thing though. If you have ever stood midway up a mountain ir a hill, in order to see where you have come from requires that you turn and put your back to the mountain. This effectively blocks the summit from your sight!! I have spent too long revelling in where He has brought me up from, that I had temporarily forgotten that there is another journey ahead.

I cannot even imagine the personal fortitude it takes in the natural for a climber to set aside what has gone before and to mentally prepare for what will most likely be an even more difficult climb ahead. I know though, spiritually what it is taking for me to fix my eyes on the goal and to ready myself for the next level.

Like many of you God is calling me to another level.

More to come!!


*Paul Huggins took the picture at Mount Tremblant

Blessing # 5

I am so thankful to God for the people He has bought into my life!!

The coolest part of being from such a diverse family as the Family of God, is the people you get to hang out with! People from all walk, backgrounds, skill levels and demographics. There are stay-at-home moms with the skills to run major corporations, PhD students, Armed Forces personnel, leaders in Government, Finance, Real Estate, SKILLED WEB DESIGNERS!!!! ... the list goes on and on.

I was thinking of all my CLOSEST circle of friends, and thinking through many different situations in life. I couldn't think of a single life circumstance (good or bad) that I could walk through where I would be completely without expert advice.

Thank you Lord for making us completely individual and unique but united in one family.

Blessing # 4 Amazing Women

All around me are amazing women. They are singles, they are married, some are moms and some are grandmas some just are fantastic.



I am privileged to witness almost daily the beauty and strength that amazing women add to my life.



Today in response to an unspoken need, I watched a young woman surrounded by friends without question or judgement as we prayed and counselled her through a situation. I see daily women who are passionate about what they do, be it parenting or Medicine. I see a young person who is so diligent that she would drive for hours to be on time to a rehearsal. Or an amazing woman of faith who doesn't just talk, but puts her beliefs, values and faith into action to accomplish a feat few could achieve all for the benefit of others.



This last woman is a pastor at my church. Her name is Kimberly Sabourin, and she will be participating in a massive fundraiser for Cancer research.

When women gather together, they are a changing force for good.

If you would like to get in on the action. Support Kimberly Sabourin as she walks 60 Km!!!



You go Girls!

Blessing # 3

This one is a 2-fer




Last night as I arrived home from a LONG day at work, this was the sight that greeted me. A beautifully shovelled walkway!!!

It had, as you know, snowed about 20 cm since I left for work this morning, so this was a miracle!! I have an amzing neighbour who more often than not beats us all to the shovelling. For a long time I didn't know who it was so I just called him my "sidewalk angel". I thanked him and his response was "I like to do it for the excercise!!"




The second part is the beautiful blanket of fresh snow that has covered the whole ground. It has resfreshed and renewed and reminded me of the beauty of winter one more time before the snow all melts. I think sometimes that God does that on purpose so that going into next year we forget the salt and the mess and slogging through and we just remember the beauty!!!

Blessings

Today's Blessing is my Roommate!

I have the best roommate in the world. She is fun and funny and clean and she puts up with my messiness!

The reason she is today's blessing is because last night she was away! I thought this would be a good break and I could do all the things people do when in a suddenly empty house.... you know...... sleep with the bedroom door open.... empty closets... stuff like that.

Instead, the house felt empty, lonely and I could hear every little noise and felt very exposed with the door open!

I am grateful for the provision of God who brings just the right people into our lives at just the right time!

31 Blessings

This post on Lori's blog is worth looking at.

There is a challenge there to count a blessing every day.
For the month of March, I will attempt to post a blessing every day.

Blessing # 1
Today is the first day of a new month!

In the environment I work in, the emphasis is on monthy goals and numbers. So the beginning of a new month is an opportunity to put past challenges behind and start fresh. ANYTHING is possible on the first day of a new month!

It is nice to know as well that God's mercies are new every morning!
We get a fresh clean slate EVERY DAY to with as we wish.

I am so grateful for the Mercy of God.

Tangible music!

I am totally on a high right now! I went to see Josh Groban tonight!! It was the MOST AMAZING concert EVER!!

He is equal parts showman and personable human being. He showed little touches that put us all over the top... he sang his encore "You raise me up" with a SENATORS jersey on!! LOVE THAT.

He is passionate about Africa and it comes through in his music... and we love him for it!!!

The coolest thing happened. I was in my company's box (that's how I got the tickets) and a stage manager came by and told us that Josh was going to be walking up our aisle!!

We were at the top of the first level by the doors and he was waiting there to enter after a break!!! I was 5 Feet from him!!!! I followed the rules and turned off my flash, so the pictures didn't work out... but it is all about the memories!! LOVE IT

This was one of the most PROFOUND musical experiences of my life!

Morning after follow up!

Last night I could hardly sleep! The residual from the concert was amazing! There was a moment that I missed an opportunity for a really great picture. While Josh was waiting behind the doors to come down our aisle, he was literally standing outside the door to the suite I was in. During the whole song before he came down all I could think was "go out the door". I didn't and I missed a great opportunity. All last night, I just kept thinking "why didn't I go out that door?" Then I realized that I was allowing that one thing to rob me from the whole rest of the experience. BUT then.... I began to remember that he is "just a man" (as the song says) and that really all the Glory goes to God because He thought of music. I began to remember all the song lyrics that alluded to God and His love and the need for forgiveness. I don't know if Josh is a Christian, but it doesn't matter the music still reaches the heavens.

The Nooma video we watched on Friday night talked about the Name of God. In the original language it is just breathed because the Name of God is made up of all vowels. I began to thank God for the gift of music and that something so grand, apart from being a tool to worship God, is an amazing experience. I love how music reaches into your very soul. Good music brings you to the throne room of God.

The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it!

If we are silent even the rocks will begin to cry out to the Glory of His Name!!

Vacation Pictures

Scroll Down past Jennifer Hudson!

This is Part 1

And the award goes to....

Tonight as I was watching the Oscars, there was one moment that stuck out. When Jennifer Hudson won for "Dreamgirls" the first words out of her mouth were

"Look what God can do!!"

Let's decide to expand our expectation of what God can do!!

Deerhurst ROCKS!!!

Here are SOME of the pictures from my trip!
(I have not yet mastered the multiple pic post)




Snow covered Rocks- the best of the Canadian Sheild!












This is the Sunset that inspired the Poem.



It was amazing to drive east toward the sun because one second the sun would be dipped down below the hills and then I would turn a corner and the sky was dusky blue without any red. I have never seen anything like it.





I spent 3 amazing nights at Deerhurst Resort.
It is near Huntsville and has an amazing sense of history without feeling old.

This is the beautiful Lobby

There are many amazing activities to take in at Deerhurst. One of the coolest things to do is take a tour in this modified Hummer. I didn't go on the tour, however, the truck sat out the front of the main building. There was a video that showed the Hummer in motion with snow up to the grill!

The accomodations are amazing. I stayed in a Villa with a Kitchenette and Living Room.

You know a girl needs her Products! This is the Bathroom! It had a beautiful Jacuzzi tub that I made MUCH use of!

This is the first of the pictures. Stay tuned for more to come

It's in the details, Baby!

There is an old quote "the difference between a Vase and a Vahze is about $500.00"

I have had the most amazing day! It started with a trip to the spa. A beautiful experience right down to the silk flower resting on each bed as I entered each room. After I had a mud wrap, there is a big beautiful shower, when I came out, the room was cleaned and there was a hair brush and spray on anti-perspirant!!!

Dinner tonight was amazing. It wasn't easy to sit alone in a large restaurant but man oh man was it worth it!! Beautiful bread, amazing steak and then to top it all off...... Dessert.

Occasionally when you have an expensive meal, there is an underlying disappointment. There is such a high expectation that it is easy to be disappointed. Ask me to pay $8.00 for dessert and I think you MUST be out of your mind!! BUT THIS.... work of art was amazing...... the Best Creme Brule I have EVER HAD!!!!

It is these details that make the difference- I LOVE IT!!!

Today I Chased the Sunset

I chased the sunset today in an attempt to capture the vastness of its beauty
As I traversed the hills and conquered corners

I am forced to complete my journey knowing that the sunrise cannot be caught
But rather that it steps beyond my reach

It is like the dreams of my heart

I chase the dreams each day in an attempt to see the vastness of the Glory of God
I traverse and persevere hoping each corner will hold

I hope that it holds the key

What is it that I seek? This uncapturable dream?
I seek the joy of a day after another day after

Each day after contains the knowing, the knowing that cannot be achieved

We cannot see the depth or the height or
Or can we?

We can understand that the earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it
We can grasp the love that He holds for us

I cannot understand the magnitude of the thoughts He has for me
I choose to shut out the conflict of a life unfulfilled.
But when I shut out the conflict, I shut out the One who says “Peace”

“Be at Peace in who I created you to be
Celebrate the joy, feel the hurt but know Me

Hear Me, my heart beats with yours
I have made you, every corner stuffed with memories
Every wide-eyed moment of thanks, it was all my idea”

So I stand waiting, with empty hands, and an open heart
Looking for the first glimpses of light

I know that with the sunrise, it begins again another race, another chance to
Chase the sunset


I wrote this today, as I was driving West it felt like I was chasing the sunset. If I had set out to chase the sunset, my journey would have been a failure. How often I find myself merely chasing sunsets and forget just to pause and acknowledge its majesty.

Friends and Fun Times

I have some really great friends, I have family, and then there are those people who are more than friends, but who don't share the same blood, but they might as well be family.

Amanda is one of those people. I refer to her as my "little sister". More than that though I think of her as my little sister. Her joys are my joys, her pains are my pains and when she breaks up with someone.... I get to tell her that he wasn't good enough for her anyway!!! :-)

Last night was her 25th birthday!!

We got a chance to celebrate her in her new apartment, and I got to meet all the people that are important to her.

I love how God brings people together and creates a bond.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE SISTER

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's day!!!!

Today it is my prayer that each of you has someone who will tell you that you are the most important person in thier life. It is so much fun to watch others get all excited!!

Interestingly, this Valentine's day has not been a problem. In other years I have been miserable that I didn't have someone to lavish me with gifts. I have not had a Valentine since I was about 16- it just happens that way!

Today it occurred to me that I look at Valentine's Day like a holiday for a religion that I don't practice. I know it sounds odd but follow me here. During the Holidays occasionally I hear a "happy Hannukah", I am not saddened that I don't celebrate, nor am I offended that they included me in their good wishes, rather, I love to see people who are excited and waiting for a good thing to come.

I would be lying to you if I told you that I never want to be lavished with love on Valentine's day, or that at some point it would be great to have absurdly expensive flowers delivered to my desk making everyone jealous. For now though, I am happy to celebrate others' love!

Just feeling this way is a complete breakthrough, and an amazing testimony to God's healing and working in my life - that and I got an email from my Daddy saying he was thinking about me today!

Win Win Win... and I didn't have to play the game!!!

Many times, we have an idea that we pray about and get the 'go ahead' from God. We begin to form and idea in our minds and follow the course that based on that idea. Often we assume that the orignial idea is God's answer and that the end result will look a certain way.. sometimes that is right. More often though, the original idea is the catalyst for a thought process that leads us to God's perfect will.

So often though we are SO committed to the original idea that there is no room for God to lead us in another way. It is in the waiting and leaving space for God to move that we find the true leading.

Here is a perfect example:

As you know I have been looking for a great Vacation.

There were 4 Main needs that I had for a vacation.... Beyond these 3 I truly didn't care.

1) Relaxation
2) Safety
3) Warmth
4) Value for money

In my mind, this meant a last minute cruise. These are safe, predictible, and WARM and relaxing. As you know though I don't have a passport. During the long wait, I was both adamant about doing what was needed to follow through on God's prompting and tempted to take the closed doors as meaning that I wasn't really supposed to go!

EXCEPT!!

Except that the enemy is STUPID and doesn't realize this isn't my first time around this mountain!!

There was a peace in my heart about going on this trip and I knew that I needed it even more than I wanted it!

I searched so may different options and brainstormed, always keeping in mind the objectives I had set for the vacation. I finally found the PERFECT spot. There is a resort in the Muskokas, along the water that offers amazing scenery. I know, I know it is not warm...or is it??? I booked a Villa with a Fireplace, a Jacuzzi, and livingroom. The resort has a beautiful spa... and the piece de resistance... DOG SLEDDING. I am going to spend 3 night sleeping, walking, reading and just being.

This option is completely safe, has warmth from the fireplace, the beauty of nature, and more than that..... a great deal. There is a kitchenette, so I will take food and save money. With the benefit of the good deal, I will be able to make repairs to my car that will take me through the rest of the year!

So it is a win, win, win, and I didn't even need to wait for the government to send me my passport! I will have it though for the Next time I want to travel.

The answer to my prayers were much different than I originally pictured, but in His amazing way He gave me above and beyond all I could have asked or imagined!

So remember, the end result doesn't always look the way you thought, but it will ALWAYS exceed your expectations!!!

There is a saying that in our 20's we are learning, in our 30's we acquire, ... I don't recall the other ones, until we get to the 50's & 60's, that is when, the saying goes, we begin to think about our legacy.





In the midst of this acquisition period of my life, I am constantly struck by legacies and the impact of an amazing life lived.
Sport is particularly good about celebrating legacies. Many times when I am in sitting in a sports arena I think of what those players think of as they step onto a the ice or field for the first time. I think about the little boys that became the men who get to live their dreams.
On Friday, I was at the Ottawa 67's game when they celebrated the coach's 2000th game. There were video tributes, and some of the Alumni from the first team that he coached. The picture you see above is the coach, Don Cherry, Ron MacLean, and some other dignitaries, and the captains from the 2 teams participating in the Ceremonial Puck Drop.
During all of the video tributes, the recurring message had very little to do with Hockey, and everything to do with molding young kids into quality adults. There was a passing mention of those who had gone on to play in the NHL, and extended coverage about alumni who had become pillars of the Ottawa community.
If we are to believe the media and the general population you would think that no one is concerned about anything but the best for them. I wonder what would happen if we raised our children to think of their legacy. I suppose we would have to TREAT them as if they carried a legacy. But in their lives.. What would that mean?
Perhaps sales of the Girls Gone Wild video series would drop off because there were no girls willing to flash for a t-shirt and dubious fame. Perhaps young men would look after their sisters and treat their girlfriends better. Perhaps they wouldn't do stupid things that teenagers do.
How would YOUR life be different? What would you pursue in order to define your legacy?
For me, I want the story of my life to be centered around a generosity that was defined by how I shared the gospel.

Lists

OK I have been tagged ( actually I was tagged awhile ago but I didn't get to this until now).

In the spirit of "get to know you" I will make 4 lists and answer some questions

Things I love
Things I hate
Things I want
7 interesting firsts about me

7 Things I love:
I love the laughter of children
I love the sound of running water
I love getting flowers (even from myself)
I love overhearing people saying nice things about me
I LOVE to give gifts
I love spending time just hanging out with my friends

7 Things I hate
I hate injustice
I hate inefficiency
I hate the lies of the enemy
I hate it when people see only my exterior and miss the true me
I hate it when I see only people's exterior and miss the true them
I hate falseness
I hate office politics when rules are unspoken or shifty.

7 Things I want
I want a puppy
I want a husband
I want kids
I want a professional writing gig
I want a vacation
I want my home to be full of love
I want new depths of intimacy with God

7 Firsts
The FIRST time God miraculously moved in my life I was only moments old
My First best friend's name was (and is) Heather, she lived down the street, and now lives in England, we are still in touch
My First time skydiiving was amazing
My first car was bought from my Grandmother who won it at a bank.
My first movie in a Theatre was E.T.
My first dog was a Golden Retriever named Ginger
I bought my First house last year.

Here are the questions:
1. What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why? (Two sentences max)
Selling Cars, I got to interact with people everyday, drive cool cars, and participate in peoples' mjor life decision

2. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? (One sentence max)
Run, I used to run around everywhere, as a kid, I loved to be in motion

3. Name one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off? (One sentence max)
Get married- It just never fits in the schedule!!! :-)
I am kidding..... Go back to school and get a degree

4. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (Two sentences max)
I would like to be better at keeping in touch with people, and be better at accomplishing my goals

5. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it, be and what would you hope to learn? (Two more sentences, max)
I would love to take all the great leaders, and put them in room and just watch them work. I think that there is a lot to learn from the way great leaders approach things, no matter whether you agree with their course of action.

6. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?
Generous, Loyal, funny

7. Now list two more words you wish they described you as…
Thin and Married

8. What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes– three sentences max)
God- that one's obvious
Family- I am passionate about seeing the people I love in right relationship with one another and with God
Communicating-I work everyday at communicating. I love communcation whether it is written, spoken formal informal it doesn't matter. When communication is effective it can change the course of history

9. Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

What did you want to be when you grew up, and why?

I wanted to be a Jet pilot. Probably because my father and brother were into planes. I also knew that it was a male-dominated profession and I wanted to blaze a trail for women.

Updates and Fresh Starts

I cannot believe that it is February 1st already!
This has been quite the year so far, and it is only just begun.

This post will tie up some loose ends that I realized I have left hanging over the last few weeks.

1) Health related: I have been to the doctor, I have a very MINOR thyroid issue that we will be keeping an eye on. It is almost a non-issue that is how minor it is. I am sleeping better since getting the medication- even though I know it has not really had a chance to work as of yet. I suppose just having some resolution reduces the stress- Isn't that ironic!

2) Passport: I have not yet hear back regarding my passport. I have not decided where I am going to go yet. I am having a good time imagining all the fun things that I could do without a passport. I will have to use some creativity to get somewhere warn.

I have a testimony also.

I heard from my Aunt today. She lives in BC and I wish that we spent more time communicating. She has always been a great support and has always believed that I can do anything. She is a woman of diverse interests and talking to her, I always learn something new. I mentioned the article that I wrote for lifecentre.org and she took the time to read it! Although she doesn't attend church I appreciate so much that she was able to set that aside and encourage me in that!! It is so great to have people around who will speak a kind word no matter what.

God is good in His provision and I am looking forward to deeper and deeper things.

A long Wait

I arrived at the passport office today at 7:00AM! The office opened at 7:30 and it was a cold Monday morning. I thought that this would be a perfect time to go and take care of my passport. I headed down there with as much information as I could. I had some expectations about what I could and couldn't get done and the timeframes.

Recently, the US changed their rules about flying and you now need a passport, therefor there is a backlog.

As I came around the corner I was faced with a lineup....... a HUGE lineup.

When they opened the doors at 7:30 there were about 250 people in line in FRONT of me!!!! I couldn't believe it.

We did what any Canadian would do... banded together comrades in arms who had braved the cold to be in this place, laughed chatted, read our books and held in our frustration. I had a book (hardcover is a bad choice), a Magazine, my laptop and an empty bladder! I had prayed and given this time to God.

I am not a fan of lineups at the best of times, but this was nightmarish! Finally, at about 10:30 (that's right folks- 3.5 hours) I got IN THE DOOR. Then you go and wait.

This was a VERY trying time for me. There are a few things I don't like: wrong information, lineups, changes in a plan for really important stuff, and not being able to influence or find a creative way to get things done- I have learned that there is almost always another way!

I had done a lot of research on the website about requirements and options and expediting things along. My travel agent had told me not to book anything until I had my passport- which totally makes sense.

Here's what happened: first I had to call work and take 1/2 day emergency time-because I was this far I wasn't going to give up now!

As i get into the office and I am standing at the pre-screeners, she asks when I am planning to travel, when I told her she asked if I had proof I was travelling at that time. When I told her "No" she said that given the fact that I didn't have a ticket bought there would be no way to guarantee I would get my passport on time.

My response "WHO BUYS A TICKET FOR A FLIGHT THEY NEED A PASSPORT FOR WHEN THERE IS A BACKLOG AND NO GUARANTEES THAT THEY WILL HAVE A PASSPORT????" (I didn't yell- I just wanted to make my point in print!!!)

So I go and wait, and wait, and wait some more.

When I am finally served the officer at the wicket tells me a LONGER time frame than the pre-screener and we go through the same conversation.

At this point I am thinking "If I had known that, I would have spent the last 5 HOURS finding a trip and would have bought it online while I was waiting!!!!!!"

I tell her I want to pay the extra and expedite the passport- she says that they are not offering that anymore. I tell her I want to not have it mailed but go and pick it up (as I had seen 500 people do) , she said that they don't do that anymore!!!!!

The director decided last week that they couldn't handle the volume!!!

There was no sympathy, no empathy no NOTHING!!!!
She gave me a 1-800 # to track the status of my application. That would be great except I stood in line with a lady who had just stood in line BECAUSE SHE HAD CALLED 50 times last week and couldn't get through, but couldn't bear the thought of leaving her 6 year old son behind when they travelled to Disney THIS SATURDAY!!!!


So based on USELESS information, I have a USELESS ph# to track a passport that I might or might not get before I need it, but if I do happen to get it, there might not be space on the trip I want to take.

SUPER!!!!

Here's the kicker....... the ONLY reason I am even in need of a passport is because I am exhausted and STRESSED out!!!! This isn't helping.

So I have submitted my application and all I can do is wait-not my best quality :-)

As the day has gone by, I am beginning to wind down from the emotion... I am beginning to see how God is using this extreme SANDBLASTING moment to refine me... I am not gonna lie to you... it hurts and I hate it!

So now I reset my expectations, put on my thinking cap and come up with a contingency plan.

What is God going to do in this? He can-and will cause good to come out of this.

I was struck again at how often we do what we think is the "right" thing, and we step out in faith and perseverance. Occasionally though, things are not waht we expect. And honestly, if this is the worst I have to deal with this week, month, or year... really.

The scripture came to mind this evening.. "when you have done all that you can, stand"

The beginning of a Journey....

As you know, I feel I have been 'released' by God to take a vacation....
I thought that this was going to be a very fun & SIMPLE excercise.

I WAS WRONG!!!

The challenge is this: I don't have a passport- yet. With the new Fly rules into the US, you cannot cruise or fly without a passposrt. Everything that I am being told is that there is "no way" I will be able to get a passport in time.

I have done everything that I know to do to speed up the process. I entered it all online, but when I went to print it, the government's print server DIDN'T work!! It was jammed up with all of the procrastinators who waited to the last minute even though they knew they were travelling and needed a passport.

So with a 'short cut' taken away from me, I am here, at 6:24 AM having switched a shift to NOON, I am on my way downtown to present myself, my supporting documents and my Credit Card to attempt to get a passport.

I am working really hard to leave all of the details in God's hands. I have thought in my fatigue this weekend, that if it is this hard... maybe it isn't of God. However, I am learning that sometimes the things most worth having are working the hardest for (thanks Nic).

I will pursue this as long as it makes sense to do so, and then I will need to look at other options.

Off I go.... check out the timestamp Lori.... I think I beat you to the punch this morning :-)

A change in VOICE

I have been finding that my VOICE is changing. By that I don't mean physically, I have not revisted puberty- thank you Jesus! Rather, I mean that the way I want to communicate through this Blog has changed.

For a time, I was writing in the tone one might use in a diary. Soemtimes, I find that when I speak about situations in my life that have taught me something, the response is about the event not the lesson learned. I want to speak more to "you", and give more time for the lessons learned, and so occasionally it could sound like I am telling you what to do, or that I have it all together. Here is the *** DISCLAIMER*** I am under no delusion that I know everything, or that I have it all togehter.... I have learned some hard lessons and want to be able to share them.

I want this Blog to become a forum for discussion.. much like the post on Tithing, my view will differ from yours, or be completely off the mark (be careful I might test to see if you are paying attention!!) , I want to hear from you. I will try and do what others do for me... leave you with a thought provoking question.

So here is your call to action.... suit-up (thanks Barney!) and lets chat.

Amazing God!

I am so amazed when God meets an "over the top, too big to even ask for"... prayer request.
As anyone who has ever owned a home knows that there is ALWAYS something that needs doing, to be purchased, or paid off. It is a careful balance requiring timing and sometimes a little finesse! There is often little left for things like vacations, if unexpected money comes in, it usually is allocated before it has a chance to increase the balance on my account!

On my wish list for this year is to travel to somewhere warm and relaxing. It was an "if only" prayer, and not one likely to happen. I had been thinking a lot about a trip and how a true vacation would greatly improve my life. I have not been sleeping well and I have been living in a state of mild exhaustion. Just this morning I had decided that a vacation was enough of a good investment that I could take pull what I needed from my line of credit and work it out after my tax refund arrives. I felt really good about this, and there was a peace that comes when God is at work.

About halfway through the day we got word that the company had done so well compared to our goals that we are each getting a bonus. It is about double what I would need for a great vacation.

My immediate thought was all the "better" things that I could do with the money. However, I kept going back to the idea that I 'needed' to take this vacation. I called a couple of people close to me to find out about travel agents, I knew they were going to ask why and I was preparing myself for a pause as they thought of all the 'better' things I could do with the funds right now. Instead they both, without hesitation, said that it was a good idea!

So I make plans, and pray for the right price, the right place, the right activities and the 'right' to go (by that I mean that this will truly be the only use God has for the money).

I am so grateful to God!!!

It's that time of Year

We just got through Christmas, I had my birthday and it is Tax Season.
I thought this would be a great time to share what God has been doing in my life regarding Finances.

God is an amazing God and my provider. I believe that God uses something that is unique to each of us to teach us fundamentals. I love that God speaks to us in the language of our lives. When Jesus spoke to the fishermen, he used fishing parables, when He spoke to farmers He used farming parables, when God needs to get my attention it is usually through Finances.

I work in the Financial Industry, I grew up learning key financial principles and concepts from two of the most successful people I know. My mother taught me all about the different products, how they work, and how to use them succeessfully. My father modelled for us the principles of living on less than you make, and how the little things over a long time can add up to a lot.

He is the one who taught me how to think in a way that made me realize that the $1.00 Tea I bought at work each day, translates to 1 car payment per year.

With these 2 amazing people in my life, I felt pretty confident that I knew what I needed to do. But I forgot one MAJOR element.... GOD.

In my time of deepest need, God spoke to my heart and I realized that finances would be both a strength and a weakness. Sampson's hair gave him his strenghth, but it also became his downfall when his pride distracted him from his purpose.

I believe that for everyone there is a trait, ability or characteristic that can be like Sampson's hair in your life.

As I said, for me, it is finances. I have to keep short sin accounts with regards to money, I have to make sure that my motives are right and that I don't allow pride in my ability to and eagerness to give, get the best of me.

One of the practical ways that I keep the accounts short is by tithing on EVERYTHING that comes through my hands. I have had to get right into the details with this one.

A very specific example, is with my store and credit card points programs. I have become an absolute expert in milking the most out of all my points programs. I was adding it all up one day, and last year I "made" about $500.00 from points programs. I realized all of a sudden that this was a source of 'income' and that God expected ME to tithe on that amount.

I am not saying that you need to do that, but I needed to. Let's go back to the main point. You have something in your life that God uses to draw you in closer, have a deeper, more intimate walk with him..... you might think that you have done what God has asked, but perhaps there is yet another level that He wants to take you to in that.

What is it that God uses in your life??

The Best Birthday Ever!

Saturday was my birthday, and friday night I had the most amazing get together with a small group of close friends. We chatted, they blessed me and they brought all the food!!

It is amazing to see what God can do with a group of amazing ladies.

Thanks for all of you who came out! It was the best birthday!

See you next year :-)

Fulfillment of A Dream!

The article is up at Lifecentre's website!! I am so excited!

At Christmastime I was chatting with a member of the team that produced the Christmas Gala CD. I asked about her experience recording in the studio, her response was "it was a dream come true, a dream that I didn't even know I had!"

I feel the same way about this writing, this has untapped a dream and passion in me that I didn't realize the depth of before now!

Enjoy!

The Gauntlet has Been Thrown Down

It is a difficult thing to find out early in the month that the goals I set for the month at work will not be achieved and I will not qualify for my bonus.

This is especially frustrating since part way into the month I decided I wanted to reach for a moreaggressive goal, so I back tracked and made up the difference. It feels like all that hard work was for naught. My first response was, well, what is the point then? Why even try.

Normally, I would have given up and coasted through the rest of the month knowing that I get a fresh start in February. I had to stop my thoughts in their tracks and look at this situation from every angle. And I decided that I have a choice!!

I can choose to focus on rocking the other aspects of what I do, and to not lose my focus. Take it as a learning experience and move forward!

This is my opportunity to be Jesus in this situation. To persevere even when it is difficult, even when there is nothing "in it" for me!

For most of you, this attitude is par for the course, for me though it represents a major shift in my thinking.

In everyother way this WILL BE a STELLAR month at work!

Buttons and Bg Dreams

I went yesterday and bought an "EASY' button.

All day as I tackled projects in spite of my fatigue I 'rewarded' myself by pushing the button, and it made me want to do something else.... more than that it made me SMILE!!!


Something else that I am very excited about, and one that fits in the "Harvest" catagory! I am excited to let you know that I was asked to write an article that will be posted on Life Centre's website!!

With this, it feels like a door has been opened and it is the beginning really exciting things to come!

The simplicity of achievement

I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I do some of the things that I do. Whether it is stay up too late, eat too much, not keep my house the way that I would like to, or why I don't do so many of those thousand things we need to do each day to be really productive. I will often make a list of things to get done, and then for no good reason abandon it in favour of wathcing TV, or something else equally useless.

The oddest part of all of this is when I do have a very productive day, the feeling of accomplishment in that can fuel me for a week!

I realized by looking around me that a big trend is not finishing projects. A closet half organized, a home improvement project done to about 99%, but with wall plates left off or tools out. Someone once told me that it was likely a fear of failure, that as long as something isn't done, I can talk about the potential (Don't forget, I am a vision caster and a big ideas person), without having to face the perhaps getting a bad response to the final product.

At work, recently we have instituted the use of an "easy" button. Just like in the Staples commercials. When pressed it says in that voice "That was Easy". We use it to mark each sale that we make. It provides recognition for each person who pushes it, but more than that, each time I hear it, I do think "that WAS easy". It is amazing when you hear "That was EASY" 60-80 times a day, it begins to resonate in your mind and it can creep into your spirit.

I recently read an article about the science of procrastination!! **
Here is part of it:

[Dr] Steel has also come up ...... with a formula he's dubbed Temporal Motivational Theory, which takes into account factors such as the expectancy a person has of succeeding with a given task (E), the value of completing the task (V), the desirability of the task (Utility), its immediacy or availability (Ã) and the person's sensitivity to delay (D).It looks like this and uses the Greek letter Ã:

Utility = E x V/ÃD
** http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2007/01/formula-for-procrastination.html

It is not necessary that you follow and absorb all of the above, but take away just this. As you know from math class, any number that you multiply by Zero will always be the same..... ZERO

Based on this formula E is the value representing the expectation of success. If your expectation of success is very low than you are more likely to procrastinate.

My plan is to continure to convince myself of my ability to accomplish each task as it comes up, and to keep the refrain in my head "That was Easy!"

You know what... Add that to the list.... I am going to buy an EASY button!

Later!

Captivated!

Something great happened today that makes me fall in love with God a little more!
As you know, my New Year's Resolution is to become Captivated by God.

In recent months I have felt very "cared for" by God. Things that I am responsible for are sometimes done for me, or things that have been difficult, are suddently easier. I try and mak sure to give credit where credit is due.

This morning, as I walked out the door, I realized that someone had shoveled my walk for me! This was not the first time it had happened! It frustrates me to not know who to say "Thank You" to, but I know that God will bless them for doing that.

More than ever before, I am feeling taken care of. Let me tell you, as a single woman, it means the world to me.

Thank You Lord!

More Harvest news!

As promised, I will, over the next little while, delve into the many areas in my life that are experiencing a harvest!

For some time, I have been feeling as though I need to go deeper in God and with God. And in that knowledge I realized that I cannot do this alone and have been looking around for a mentor who would be able to walk alongside me. As I thought of myself and my personal style I realized that the normal mentoring method of meeting over coffee, pouring out my heart doesn't really suit me. I learn from hearing how others who are successful so things, and from discussing specific situations to find the principle.

On another note I began writing this blog as an opportunity to write and share with others. OVer the course of this process there developed a community of Bloggers who share comments and thoughts. Sometimes something another blogger writes about will spark something that I will chew on and then perhaps blog about what God speaks to me regarding this idea.

I have found that as I am getting 5-6 different points of view each day, I begin to see patterns that emerge in what God is doing in other's lives. I particularly love Lori and Jay's individual blogs! I am never at a loss for interesting questions to ponder.

With Lori's blog there is always lots of scripture and encouragement, Jay's blog is full of profound, high level thoughts as they relate to leadership, hockey, and Apple! On Tracey's Blog, I am getting an inside look at the challenges that even the most amazing marriages face. With Three Beautiful Things, I am reminded that everyday there is something good in each day. There are so many others.... all of which add to the joy of my day.

Of course this list is neither exhaustive nor complete.. please don't be offended if I didn't mention your blog.

I began to realize that I was getting glimpses into the lives that I hold in such high regard, and by investing in thier blogs, they are investing in me! How great that God would allow me to be mentored by so many amazing things. Know that if I have left a comment or a response on your blog it is because what you do truly makes a difference. There are days when an encouraging thought that someone shares, changes the course of my day and causes my heart to become even more Captivated by God!

Harvest Time

This year is starting out really well!!

I had written a great post a couple of days ago and for some reason it didn't post! It was profound, and now it is gone!! :-)

Here we go again

Already this year I am starting to see the harvest of all the hard work over the last few years!!
There are hopes and dreams that I have had on my heart that are beginning to come to fruition.

I am surrounded by amazing people and for the first time in a long time, I have a solid group of friends of many ages and stages. There are those in my life who are mentoring, some are walking the same path and others are a couple of steps behind because of their stage of life. I love that I am able to be poured into and to pour into others.

I have intentionally sought to have balance in the giving and recieving.

It feels like a breakthrough year!!

Breakthroughs in Finance, LOVE, Friendship, Intimacy with God, I am starting to see some of my dreams beginning to come true!!

As we walk through this year, I will seek to be very attuned to those harvest moments and I will share them with you.

A mid-winter re-run!

Given the nature of the season I thought this would be a good reminder:


I would love to say that I went on vacation to some remote and exotic spot and found my sanity and came home with tanlines, digital pictures and maybe some stories to tell, but I have not been away in quite a while. No the vacation that I refer to is someone else's.

As a homeowner I have had to deal with all sorts of creatures: squirrels who like the cotton on the inside of my BBQ cover, a spider who live in my kitchen window - I have named her Charlotte - and the unknown animals whose droppings appear in the oddest places; but nothing could have prepared me for the biggest annoyance to anyone's life. The saddest part of this whole story is that I brought some of them with me when I moved in!

These horrid creatures that I refer to are the "shoulds". Let me tell you all about them. By day, the are adorable and cuddly and have the shape of good plans and intentions. When you think about the shoulds during the day you can be comforted and optimistic. I speak of course of those good things to do that rise us above the level of just existing. Things like: I should make cookies for my neigbour. I should clean out the guest room closet. I should research furnaces before mine dies so that I don't have to make a hasty decision before the snow flies. The shoulds are not things that you have to do like get up and go to work, pay your bills, or shower. Shoulds are all those things that you think separate you from all those poeple who have it all together.

I have a theory that Martha Stewart is the Queen of the Shoulds she brought them into our lives and they have taken over. It is all that pressure to do the things that we think will make us better people. During the day.... no problem, we make our lists and our plans and we feel all warm and fuzzy that we have the ambition to think of it!

The problem happens in the dark. There is a genetic mutation in the Shoulds, that causes them to turn evil and mean when the sun goes down. They become these ugly, hissing beings that crawl into bed with you and whisper things in your ears. Things like "you should have washed the floor today" or "that thank you note you meant to write, is too late now, you should have done it sooner" and they lie to you and ask "who will ever love someone who lives in a messy house" or "How will God ever trust you with more? You bought lunch when you should have packed it."

My house seemed to be the epicentre of the global infestation of the shoulds, and the problem seemed only to get worse the more I tried to ignore it. The shoulds were torturing me, clinging to my clothes and dragging me into their sick little reality. the house, the car, the hair, the weight, the job, the shallow relationship with God...... there seemed to be no end to the ways that I was failing dramatically..... to hear it from their perpective, you would think that I was no better than a reprobate sinner, who cheated little old ladies out of their life savings. The evidence around me didn't support the argument, but I believed the lies anyway.

The whole purpose of the Shoulds is to keep you off your "game", to sabotage what success you DO have by focussing on what you missed. Kind of like a parent whose first response to a grade of 98% asks "What happened to the other 2%?". I think as women we do this to ourselves so much. As single women it carries the weight of negating our "qualification" to ever find love and happiness- so it is a double whammy!

As I said, I was mired in the Shoulds to the point that I couldn't even see the good things that had nothing to do with my performance, it was just all bad. And then during one particular phone call with Nicolle (amazing friend by the way), she suggested that I not be so hard on myself and that I could let a few things slide. All of those shoulds that don't matter and have nothing to do with financial obligation or safety. Since I was already good at justifying my way out of housework etc, I figured that I had the basic skill to accomplish this particular mission, just let it go. So off I went with a new sense of purpose getting rid of the shoulds.

Day 1: "You should clean the kitchen" said the should on duty.

"I don't FEEL like it" I replied

"What if someone sees the mess, what will they think of you?"
(Here's where it gets good.)

I said "I DON'T CARE! What are they going to do? Stop being my friend because there are some dishes in the sink?"
And then....
Silence.....

I had rendered the should silent!

Day 2: "You should vacccuum"

"No, I don't want to" I replied, and paused.

This time though, when I paused, I thought of all my favourite people, and I tried to imagine them coming into my house with an unvaccuumed floor, and what their response would be. Amazingly enough, I couldn't think of one important person who would stop being my friend because I hadn't vaccuumed!!!!

The should had no response... he just turned and walked away

Day 3: I was at work, and it was almost lunchtime. I had started having co-workers over for lunch, they would bring thier lunches and we would eat together- but normally I would do a mental check of the state of my house before inviting them over. On this day, the house was a mess-I had been ignoring the shoulds. I took a big risk and invited them over. Guess WHAT! No one mocked me, or ran screaming from my house, and they all thanked me for my hospitality!!

When I got home that evening, the shoulds were all lined up at the door, suitcases in hand, and announced that they simply couldn't work under these circumstances and that they would be leaving for vacation, and that I was on my own. And so I was free from the shoulds, for a time.

So there was peace. After a time, the shoulds returned. But an interesting thing had happened while they were away. A colony of want tos moved in! They applied for permanent residency. The shoulds were a little upset, but then they realized that when they work together with the want tos, more gets done, I am happier and we all sleep better at night. And somewhere, the Queen of the Shoulds abdicated her throne and is enjoying life immensly.

Things that Last

One of the headlines on CNN.com read: Ford remembered for his Inegrity. Another reported that Ford chose to keep his faith private and it cost him the 1976 election.




Even in these crazy times where there is a battle against all that we believe and when the media would tell us that society no longer embraces the values of goodness, piety, virtue and integrity, something serves to remind us that God raises and topples Presidents, Kings and Dictators. He is ultimately the King and that His ways will prevail. I believe that in our inmost beings we are attracted to the things of God- the things that last, even though our sinful nature tries to convince us otherwise.

I am so grateful that, when my eyes are open to see, all around me there are reassurances that this "narrow" road I am walking is leading me where I want to go... straight to the heart of God.

It is my prayer that through the celebration of Ford's legacy, even the people with the most selfish motivations will see what lasts and what brings acclaim is integrity.

God has captured my attention! :-)

BTW: If you are looking for some real-time mentoring and some scriptural edification about the perfection of God and His ability to complete the work He started in You, Lori is doing a series. Start Here and work your way through it!

Exercising my Perogative

There is a phrase that says "It is a woman's perogative to change her mind"- heard first from my mother. Today I would like to exercise my right to do so today.

My last post (read it) said that I was resolving not to make any resolutions. However, God has once again stepped in and moved something around in my heart and life!! I am so glad that He did, but it necessitates a new direction.

Saturday night I had a night out with a pair fabulous women. We chatted-as women are wont to do- about a variety of subjects. The book Captivating is close to all of our hearts because we have all recently gone through it with our life groups- if you havn't read it.... take the opportunity, I promise it will change your life. We discussed a number of aspects of the book and our New Years Resolutions. The part of the book that hits me each time I read it, I the part about feeling like too much and too little at the same time. It is because of the insights gained from the book that much of the clutter of "should do" has been removed and I am taking a realistic approach to what can and cannot be accomplished- and influenced my previous resolutions.

It is an amazing book that allows you to realize how "Captivated" God is by YOU. Not what you do or not in spite of what you don't do.... HE is CAPTIVATED by YOU, period, end of though....


As I drove home that night, I know that one of the ladies was praying for me (because she told me!) and as I drove and prayed and cried a little about what we had shared, an amazing peace came over me. The hurting that I felt was calmed and the peace turned to thanksgiving.... for who God is and what He has done.

And then it came to me...... I want to become CAPTIVATED by GOD!!!

Instead of seeking His will and purpose, His direction and His teaching.... I am going to seek HIM.

I began to thing about what happens when something- or someone- captivates your attention. I wondered if that can be purposefully nurtured into captivation. Indeed it can. If you think of something or someone who captivates you, go back to the very beginnings of that relationship. Something caught your eye and heart initially and then you seek out opportunities not only to be with that person but to learn more about them. Your radar goes up and is acutely aware of everything that is even remotely related to that subject or person.

That is my plan also.... be on the lookout and search out WHO God is.

The fun part is that since we can only love God because He FIRST loved us, I know that HE will find opportunities to jump out of the perverbial bushes and show Himself to me in new ways-in fact on Sunday, one of the scriptures Jay preached on was "seek first the kingdom"- what better way to get a glimpse of the kingdom that to get to know the KING.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!