Layer upon Layer

One of the rarest commodities in this busy, detacted, distracted world is the feeling of safety. For some reason, that I am trying to understand, safety is very imporant to me, maybe moreso than for others. This need for safety goes beyond feeling physically safe, I need to feel safe with the character of the people around me, to know that there are people around that I can call if I am upset, or lost.. or if I get a couch stuck in my stairwell and end up with holes in the drywall!

Sometimes as a single woman there can be times when I have felt all alone in an ocean with no land in sight. Except I am NOT alone, and I realized somewhat suddenly, that I DON'T feel all alone!! There have been numerous occasions lately where I have felt completely safe.

• Parents who remind me they are praying for God's best
• A friend who is ready to fight on my behalf
• Sisters in Christ who take a risk to speak truth, even if it might hurt a little!
• A cousin who comes to fix what is broken
• Friends who offer to carry a heavy load
• A pastor who shares from his heart every week
• A woman of God who takes the time to invest
• A brother in Christ who dealt gently with my heart and protected my dignity
• A gentleman who ensures all the women in our group have a seat
• Friends who surround each other with their prayers

Most of all:

• God who has a plan and a purpose for my life
• God who sends just the right person to speak just the right words
• God who gently but persistently speaks of who He is, and who He wants to be for me.

I am so grateful for the layers upon layers of safety, that God has been showing me the results of His conspiracy in my life. I am reminded that no matter what seems to be in front of me, my heart, and life are safe in God's hands.

Undivided Hearts

It is the desire of my heart to have the single women in Life Centre will be in a place of contentment with this stage of the life. No matter what your long term desire is regarding marriage, there can be a place of contentment where the desire is not removed but where our eyes are looking in a different direction and we are no longer crippled by that desire.

This begins with the realization that God’s definition of Who we are in HIM, actually doesn’t have anything to do with the titles that we put upon ourselves. I am taking a group of single women through a book study. We are calling this session “undivided hearts”. We want to get to a place where we are undivided in our hearts toward God, that nothing would ever pull our attention away from God.
As a leader, this is my heartbeat.....
Romans 1: 11-12
11 I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— 12that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.
As a Christian, this is my desire.......
2 Cor 3:18
18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.No matter who we are or what we tasked to do in our lives, we are called to live reflecting the Glory of God….
I think sometimes the challenge is the “unveiled faces” part. In order to be totally unveiled requires a confidence in the face behind the veil. As we lift the veils it is natural to be afraid that some might not like what lies beneath, but as we each take that step we will see that behind each veil lies extreme beauty mixed with the occasional scar of life.

If I know that you have scars and you know that I have scars together we can be unveiled in safety. Let’s walk through this together as we encounter God and stand before Him with Unveiled faces. It is our desire to bring the light of the glory of God to our world and we know that is accomplished best when we stand unveiled before Him.

A question for the ages

Why does Christmas stress us out so much?

There are so many aspects of Christmas that I LOVE. I love giving gifts, I love the music, the cozy fireplaces, the smells of the season. I love the anticipation of seeing who will do what and when. Mostly though, I LOVE hearing the story of Jesus inevery public arena.

Secretly, I will admit I even love that slighty superior feeling I get knowing that my shopping is almost done, and the cards are addressed and stamped (even the international ones) ... I am still a work in progress!

But underlying all of the joy there is so much stress... it bubbles beneath the surface and tends to show itself in mild bouts of tears or indecision when pressed for an answer about plans. It is the reality for so many. There are those who work themselves into a frenzy with all the activity and some who choose to hibernate at home blocking it out completely and trying to pretend it just doesn't exist.

I was 'delicately' reminded today that one person's stress is another person's blessing. While I occasionally feel pulled in more than one direction by family, there are those who are without loved ones.

It all comes back to gratitude.

Who are you?

I am His Bride.

His Dreams for me are more than can be imagined.

He has chosen me.

I am fully known.

This is the truth of what God did in my heart at the Women's Night recently held at TLC. As I came off stage from the drama that we had presented, we made our way into a room adjoining the sanctuary. We were all a little shaken from the experience, but amazed at the victory. I had such a sense of the presence of God. We wept together, and began to cry out to God on behalf of the women who had come to be ministered to.

There was a desperation in my heart that what had been exposed as we stood on that stage in our vulnerability, would not be gratuitous. I wanted more than anything that women sitting watching us would see that in that place and in that moment, there was so much safety to take a risk and get their breakthrough. I wanted so much for the women present there to grab hold of what God was handing out. To see the depth of His love for each of them.

There is a battle raging in each one of us. God is passionately propelling us toward the destiny that He has for us. Just as passionate is the enemy's desire to derail that which God would call us each uniquely to.

Each one of you has a call that cannot be duplicated, history would be different if you weren't here. You are a history maker. Step out, step up and step into something more.

I am His bride. Who are you?

His dreams for me are more than can be imagined. Are you dreaming God-sized dreams?

He has chosen me. You are His treasure, He altered history and sacrificed His Son.... and YOU are worth it.

I am fully known.....

Unveiled Faces

What is your deepest pain?


I am single.

God has forgotten my dreams

He can't use me alone.

None will choose me.

I am incomplete.

Sunday night, I was asked to do one of the most difficult, yet freeing things that I have ever had to do. At TLC we had an amazing Women's night. The theme of the evening was Identity. We looked at the titles and the ideas that our upbringing and our culture has placed on us that are not an accurate representation of who God says we are . At the end, we performed a dramatic piece in which we stated an old identity that was false. Then we draped ourselves with a black veil. A song began and we stood, with veiled faces, desolate at this false identity. As the piece went on, we removed the veils, and then presented ourselves, declaring the Truth and abandoning our veils.

Even as we rehearsed there was a depth of pain for each of us as we dug deep into our sense of identity. For the most part we couldn't even speak, we just walked it through. We knew God was up to something, but it was really heavy because we weren't speaking lines we had memorized, we were speaking of our own lives.

I am single.
God has forgotten my dreams
He can't use me alone.
None will choose me.
I am incomplete.

These were the lies that I had adopted into my identity. These were the words I spoke in front of a roomful of women. It was so difficult to even get the words out. As I stood on the stage, I felt completely exposed, and raw. If I had actually been naked, I wouldn't have felt as exposed as I did in that moment. I stood veiled, weeping, realizing the depth to which these lies had permeated my heart. I chose in that moment, to not just let this be a drama, that I was leaving behind the old ideas about myself.

I am His Bride.

His dreams for me are more than can be imagined.

He has chosen me.

I am fully known.

THIS is the truth. This is what replaces the old lies. I leave behind the old ideas just like I left behind the veils on that stage.

Immeasurably More

Ephesians 3:20
20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

I got a funny object lesson this weekend that I felt like was a little reminder of how God, in His amazing wisdom, works. Contrast 2 situations and plans that I made for the weekend.

Friday's Plans: a blanket email went out early in the week hoping to get the crowd together for dinner and a movie. As the week progressed, no responses, in fact, some miscommunication. Friday night came, and the only one who had said they were coming bailed on me.

Saturday's Plans: A worship concert downtown, tickets purchased in advance, plans with the girls to just go and worship God. All is set and settled, then Friday night one of the girls called and said that she had tickets to BON JOVI!!!

I would never have bought tickets to Bon Jovi because, while I enjoy the music and I think he is a handsome dude, I really am not a fan of concerts. They are not an activity that I normally pursue. Some people love them, not me. So we debated- honestly I was fighting the "religiosity" that would say why are you giving up Worship tickets for Rock tickets, but that is a conversation for another day!- and finally decided that Free tickets to this concert would be too good to pass up. There are a few bands that you just go to say you went.......

We very quickly got excited about this idea!! So plans changed and all is well. In the back of my head was the thought "I wonder who is opening?".... well, I found out later it was Hedley!!! Again, another band that I don't pursue their music but always enjoy. I have long thought, I bet that would be a good concert!!!

So, we get the Iconic music of Bon Jovi, and I get an unspoken desire of heart fulfilled!!

On Thursday, I didn't even know that I would like to see Bon Jovi! Now I can't wait. And all of this fell into our laps, we were just being happy to worship Jesus..... do you see where this is going? I am sure that you can. There was a whisper in my heart that said, "see I can bring good things to your door, and it will exceed your imaginings!" I know that God can use ALL circumstances in our lives to teach us things.

We are inundated with messages about the best way to go about finding love. Amazingly enough the advice I often get from my Christian friends is the same as my non-christian friends.... things like "You gotta get out there" or "it's a numbers game" or "how will you know what you want unless you play the field?", or my personal favourite "you can't expect God to send them knocking on your door, do you?" with the exception of the question of sex, the advice is doesn't differ that much from a Christian and non-Christian approach. But the truth is, I DO expect that when the time is right, God WILL send the right person, and if they need to knock on my door, then that is what is going to happen! My 'game plan' is this to be busy about the work of the Lord.

I have never understood or bought into the whole 'dating game' . It seems like a dumb way to find someone. I think that it is much better to go about things God's way! The scripture DOESN'T say : spend most of your time seeking God, but save time for searching for Mr. Right. It says Seek first... and all these things will be ADDED!! To me, that means they will be brought to me.. in the time and in the method that God has chosen.

** IMPORTANT** Please read Immediately

From the Office of the Chairman of the Board
For Widespread Distribution


It is with great pleasure that we announce some changes in the leadership of "Laura's Life" . Every once in a while, as market needs change, and the nature of the organization changes, we need to shuffle around responsibilities.

The primary change will take place in the Department for Spouse Acquisition (DFSA).

A little organizational history. For those of you who don't know, we are a wholly owned subsidiary of Laura Coxworth Inc. A number of years ago we realized that we- as the Board- didn't have what it takes to run this Organization to its fullest potential. We have a CEO who is responsible for (and capable of) running all aspects of our organization. Although he has wide-ranging authority to do what He needs to, He chooses to bring things before the Board to get our approval and our full buy-in (He insists that changes and improvements last longer with board buy-in). The Board has always been happy with His performance, and He has never let us down, however, sometimes it takes some convincing of Board members that He is even interested in taking on new responsibilities-even when He is BEGGING to take them on.

The Board has excellent intentions, but humbly realizes that it lacks the skills and vision needed to change the world, per the vision of our CEO. The Board has never assumed that they have all the answers, that is why we hired the CEO in the first place, yet the Board is often held back by their limited view of the global & eternal perspective. As the Chairman of the Board, I have fought many fights to give our CEO more responsibility, and slowly, I feel like the tide is shifting in those areas that are most important.

The DFSA is an area that I have long thought should be handled by the CEO. As a Board we could never come to an agreement, some thought that the CEO must be too busy for such an inane project, others felt at times that this should be the only responsibility of the CEO. Still other times we debated outsourcing it entirely, allowing both the Board and the CEO the freedom to get more important things done. It has long been the primary topic of Board Meetings and has brought about tears, pain, frustration and heartache. We have missed out on some opportunities to get ahead in the market because we were focused on this internal issue!

I have known for a long time that the right resources were already within the organization, I just needed the buy in of the Joint Chairs of the board: Mind, Soul and Spirit. We have spoken to outside consultants-even offering some of them the job- and we have even offered rewards for the public's help-all with disappointing results. We have reached the end- finally, we have consensus on this! We completely TRUST Him with this!

I am pleased to announce that our CEO will have full responsibility, overview, leadership and approval for the Department For Spouse Acquisition. We have made it clear as a Board, that if we stick our noses into what is His expertise, he has the authority to kick us out of His office. He has carte blanche for this project. We have put no deadline on it-knowing that it will be finished when He is fully satisfied with the results. Rest assured, we have made known to Him some of the things we are hoping to see and what we would prefer, however we publicly acknowledge that we don't have the same vision as He does so we don't know what will be needed long term.
He assures us that even when it seems like there has been no forward momentum, lots of things happen behind the scenes. He has refused to be subjected to progress reporting and respectfully reminded the Board that we could at any time take back leadership of the DFSA.

We announce this private Organizational change publicly so that you (as someone invested in our future) can be made aware of the most effective communication channels should you feel the need to provide any input on this subject.

Prior to this change, coming to a Board member would have been the best channel, however, now it would literally be a waste of breath. If you have anything that you feel needs to be stated on the subject, the CEO has said the He is willing at any point to hear your concerns and petitions. Please go directly to Him on this. As a board we have a long list of tasks that we need to accomplish, and we will only become distracted and frustrated if we keep trying to do this when the CEO has it in His hands.

We know that this announcement will surprise some, and make others nervous. If you have any concerns, I am sure that a quick face-to-face with the CEO will put your hearts at ease. He has a way of putting nervous investors at rest with His clear vision and gentle approach and He always has an opening in His schedule to have that meeting!

Confessions of a Confused Heart Part Two

Do you recall the last truly delightful moment you witnessed?

Guess what? It takes work to see the delight around us. How are you going to see the older couple strolling in the park, if you aren’t sitting on the park bench? How is your niece able delight you with her imagination if you never go and visit? How do you spot puppies curled up together unless you pop into the pet store? It takes a decision to slow down and look around.


I think this is the same thing with God. When we go too fast, we forget that He wants to be the centre of everything we are doing. The other day, I chose to delight in the parking space that opened up right in front of the door to the mall, and the kind words that were sent my way at just the right time. If we are looking for all the ways that God chooses to speak to us throughout the day, we can give him credit for a wide variety of things that others just write off. Imagine God opening up that parking spot, or prompting the people who said kind things to me, it isn’t that farfetched, in fact, it’s kind of delightful… don’t you agree?


I have a long way to go before I can say I truly trust in God for everything, but until that time comes, I hope to learn a little more everyday how to delight in His love. I am certain of this, as my eyes turn more and more toward His, the amazing view of His love will

Confessions of a Confused Heart

I’m guilty! Slap on the handcuffs, convict me and send me away! I am guilty. What am I guilty of? Misrepresenting scripture…that’s right, take a moment, wrap your head around it. I realize that ignorance is not a defensible position; however, I can say that my misrepresentation was not malicious. In my eagerness to have the Lord answer my prayer, I latched onto what I thought amounted to a smoking gun.


For more years than I care to recall I have used the scripture “God will give you the desires of your heart” in my agonizing with God. I used it to become angry and bitter against God. I thought that I was justified in my frustration and anger. After all, as we are taught, not only does God give us the desires of our hearts, but He also places within us those desires that He wants to fulfill. Except time and time again, as the desires of my heart went unfulfilled, it seemed sometimes like God’s aim was a little off. All the people around me would get exactly what I had been begging for.

I would imagine that a lot of people have been there. Maybe you have even used this scripture to support your railings against God for not fulfilling a ‘desire of your heart’.

I am embarrassed to admit that, until just now, I had never really done any study of the scripture that so easily rolled off my tongue and held me hostage. A quick scan through shows me that Psalm 37 really lays out the expectation of someone who ‘qualifies’ for desire fulfillment. That is really the only way to explain it. It would seem that there are conditions to this promise.

The actual verse is “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart”. The next question that we need to ask is: what does it truly mean to “delight yourself in the Lord”?

I absolutely don’t measure up to the expectation that the Lord has set out. Why would He live up to my selfish and manipulative whining? Just the fact that I am even worried about my future shows me that I DO NOT trust Him. Don’t get me wrong, I trust Him for a lot of things. I trust that He always has a reason for whatever He allows to come across my path, however, I can’t always see that while I am in the midst of it. I trust in His love for me. I trust mostly in His forgiveness, goodness knows I make use of it enough.

How would my life be changed if I truly truly truly trusted Him?

If I truly trusted God, I wouldn’t worry about tomorrow, I would take His word literally, I would step out in faith more often. I would believe what scripture says about the future that He has for me. I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that any job that I apply for and don’t get has a purpose in it. I might even make the most of every moment. I would not have to hold a grudge, or worry about a stolen item.

"Delight yourself in the Lord" is more like an invitation than a command. The New Testament says “seek first the kingdom of God”. There is almost a sense of work about that, as if it were a hard thing to do. Here in Psalms it sounds a lot more like an invitation to enjoy-as if that required a commandment! Delight!

What in your life is delightful? Delicate sandwiches, a little girl in a dress-up costume, an older couple holding hands, puppies sleeping curled up together. Delightful things bring a warm glow to your heart. They make the world seem less scary. You Tube is full of delightful videos… you can tell they are delightful because of the huge number of people who have viewed them! The whole world is attracted to the delightful.

We don’t just stumble upon delightful things though. Think of your busy days, full of movement and agendas, and getting things accomplished, you probably barely have time to finish your morning coffee before you are off (that’s why you stop at Starbucks on the way to work). Take a moment and try to remember the last delightful moment you experienced.

More to come on this.....

In Remberance

This year, I have more invested in this life. I have a Niece who will grow up in a country where she is free to express herself in whatever religious faith, or political view she chooses. Where there are men and women willing to stand in the way of harm on her behalf and to defend her right to those choices.

This morning, as we acknowledged Remembrance Day, we sang the national anthem I was struck by the words. I am one of the proudest Canadians you will come across.

"God keep our land,
Glorious and free,
Oh Canada, We stand on guard for thee...."

It belongs to all of us, to stand on guard for our freedoms. For some, that task requires weapons of this world, and for others, we take up the weapons of spiritual warfare. Whatever weapons you employ, I thank you, deeply, from the bottom of my heart.... Cayley (my niece) thanks you too.....

Leading the Culture

I am part of a group of women who gather once a week and we share our lives together. We laugh, we cry, we share one another's joys and pains. This is a lifegroup. There are things that we DON'T do. We DON'T gossip, or back stab one another.

I have never been experienced an environment where 40+ women share their lives without judgement or competition. This is strange because as we know, oftentimes women are so hard on one another and ourselves.

I have often stopped to wonder how it is that this is possible. Is it possible that we have found 40 of only women in the world who have no desire for gossip or backstabbing? Those amazing super-Christians we have all heard about but never managed to see??

Not at all! This weekend I saw the key to setting the tone.

We went to a women's' conference. There was complete peace and joy as we travelled. We had great conversations that ran the gamut from spiritual to the fun and a little crazy. I have not laughed so much in a long time.

One of the conversations we had as a whole group, one of the ladies shared a strange perspective on a topic. I recall thinking to myself "That was Odd" , but I didn't think too much about it.


A while later, as the big group departed and it was just a few of us left, one of the women jokingly made mention of the previous comment. In that moment, there was a beat of silence, we all had a choice: to pick up the mocking and begin to gossip, but, instead, I found that we all looked to Lori, and with a subtle shake of her head she shut down the whole conversation!

We went onto something else, and nothing more was said.

I realized, this was the key to the whole environment that we have fostered in our lifegroup! We all know that our leadership will not participate in or tolerate gossip or backstabbing. I know! I've tried, but nothing is LESS fun than trying to gossip with someone who doesn't participate!

As leaders, we have the opportunity to lead the cultures that we help create. We can choose what we allow into the lives of those we lead.

Collateral Damage

Anytime there is a move of God, there will always be a move to distract us from the experience. Something that will come a long to rob us of the fullness of the situation.

Last weekend, I was very much anticipating a conference that a few ladies were attending. All the week before, I had my antennae up looking for some of the chaos that almost always surfaces. Families fighting, people getting hurt, car accidents. Things like that often happen when there is a big event coming up. I was surprised to see that there was no drama. There was a little distraction from the resolution of an ongoing situation, but nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, I thought that the timing of this particular event was great because it took me out of a situation that could have been awkward. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

On the way to Toronto, I was slightly distracted by the above situation, but like I said, nothing beyond what one might expect. At first the van was very quiet-not at all what you might expect, then ladies in the van with me began to outline some of the ways that they experienced the Enemy's attacks to try and distract. Mostly it was fighting within families and discord. Each of them are mature women of God and so they realized what was going on and dealt with it. As we talked about these attacks, I felt my sadness lift off me. Like just by acknowledging the situations, I was free from the emotion.

That conversation broke open the weekend for us. From that moment on, there was laughter and deep conversations, and WAAAYYY more information about some subjects than anyone person needs to know!!

As we went through the conference, there were environmental issues (the room was hot, the speaker too loud) that totally distracted me. I continued to take notes but things really didn't sink in. The ladies were in our room until 3:30am and so the next day I was REALLY tired. I drove most of the way home (which took way longer than it needed to), got home, fell into bed, just to get up and run all the rest of the week.

On top of that, I have been fighting a cold/flu all week. The more I sleep, the more tired I am.

This weekend is an Encounter Weekend that we host at the church. It is an opportunity for people to do business with God. I am on the ministry team for that, so once again, I was on "high alert" for the attacks. I drove carefully all week, watched my relationships and was aware. I knew all along that the illness was directly related to the bookended experiences with God.

As tonight approached, I fought frustration and illness, someone even suggested that I go home!! Stupid enemy! He thinks that this is my first go 'round..... I stayed and we had a great evening, as the time to minister to the people came closer, I developed a cough, and my sniffles were worse.... I KNOW that this is all related.

What I am realizing though, is that in the midst of my busy week, I was unable to take time to process what I got out of the conference, I have not even had a chance to look at the notes I took, much less distill them into applicable points, or even thoughts to blog....

I wonder how much of the busyness of our lives keeps us from being 'still and knowing' that He is God. That by keeping us off balance, we miss the times with God. The Bible says that the Enemy comes like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Take a moment today, and see if there is any sheep that could be robbing you of something- if there is, you may think it is Godly, but pull back the covers... it might just be a wolf.

If you need me next week, I might not answer, I might just be in the midst of 'stillness'!

A positive trend

I have noticed something very interesting as the commercials for Christmas have rolled out. I have seen a couple of commericals for a couple of different chains where the message of the ad campaign the response that the gift gets as opposed to the gift itself.

In fact, to my recollection, in both commercials, you don't even see any products! Isn't that a strange yet amazing trend!

I wonder how the holiday would change in nature if we were more concerned about bringing joy to the person we were giving the gift to?

The Battle against Mediocrity

Potential
a latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed.

Mediocrity
1. ordinariness as a consequence of being average and not outstanding [syn: averageness]
2. a person of second-rate ability or value; "a team of aging second-raters"; "shone among the mediocrities who surrounded him" [syn: second-rater]

My entire life, everyone has spoken to me about my potential, this untapped resource of brilliance, and.... whatever....... that might change the world.... or at least those closest God put in my path.

For some reason though, I always seem to fall just short of the fullness of my potential. I am in a constant fight against mediocrity. In so many ways mediocre is safer, there is no risk, no failure, no fear. Sure there is also no amazing high of success or grand adventure of life.

I have always had the sense that within me lies more, and it scares me.

Do you ever get the sense that something tough is coming your way? That perhaps you have advanced warning of a battle? I am determined to battle to take back this territory that was stolen from me before I had a chance to experience life there. This victory belongs to God, I merely sit in the truth of who God made me and follow His leading.

Obedience needs to be my weapon of choice. Here we go, over the wall into battle..........

The Glory!

I see the Glory of God surrounding me. There is a sense of the divine purpose of God, not just in my life, but the loves of those He has chosen to surround me with.

This past 6 months has life transforming. I encounter things now that just a few months ago would have overwhelmed me, or that I would have responded differently to. Sometimes it seems like God gives me a bird's eye view of my life in a moment and I can see objectively and I can see and feel the differences.

This can only mean one thing.... I being consumed by God a little more and more each day!

I can only boast in the Lord... HE is the author and finisher of my Faith, mostly though... He isn't done yet! I am so grateful for the lives of those around me who allow me to speak into their hearts.