Insha'allah, is a phrase used by people who speak Arabic to express "hopefully" or "if God wills". It is similar to some Christian usage of "if Jesus tarries". It essentially acknowledges that God is God and only He knows the future, so we hope in Him. It takes some of the pressure off those who are involved in the circumstances and releases us to trust God more. A funny example of this is when I was away and a merchant at the market was pressuring me to buy carpets that I wanted to think about, he tried to tell me that they wouldn't last long and that if I liked them I should jump at the chance. My response was "Insha'allah".... if it is meant to be it will be. I found this response effective, especially when accompanied by a very Eastern shrug of one shoulder. It not only expressed to him that I was above being pressured, but it sealed in my heart that truly if it was meant to be it would be and I was free to make a wise purchase.
Obviously, the God that I serve and the god of the Muslim faith are 2 different realities, however, the heart attitude is still the same.
On the eve of the elections in Afghanistan, this mindset is so important. I cannot imagine what it would be like to weigh the opportunity to cast a vote, with the possibility that casting that vote could get you hurt or killed! How do you even begin to make that decision? I have been following the lead up to this election very closely! I am excited to see that the NATO forces are taking the Taliban threats so seriously. It is my prayer that the people of Afghanistan will feel the nations of the world standing up in protection as they enter polling stations. That their view of the ability of the Afghan police and Army to protect them will change. As they see others risking their lives to vote, I pray that they will feel how much we have invested in them. It is amazing that this is all happening on one day. The same day that NATO will halt its operations and focus on the safety of those who choose to invest in the political process.
Tyranny and oppression wants people isolated, uneducated and scared. But this day, this election-insha'allah- will provide an opportunity to for EACH afghan citizen to take back this moment of their lives. I pray with everything in me, that this day will be the beginning of a groundswell of national pride, and a renewed resolve to see thier nation healed and rebuilt.
There are so many complexities to this situation, and by no means do I seek to naively wade into the noise and offer trite solutions. I am, however, passionate about seeing the people of Afghanistan rise above all those who would oppress them. To find home-grown solutions to these major issues, to get fed up of being the punching bag of those who would exploit them. I have a vision of once again walking streets but this time, instead of a flack vest, I am carrying my child or my grand-child, showing where I have been. I want to freely explore the heritage and beauty of this nation that has so completely captured my heart! Like with anything that we love, I want the BEST!
So tonight our time, as people venture out into the uncertainty, my prayer is for safety, and for eyes that are open to all those who are sacrificing so much to assist, and it will renew in them a sense of nationhood and purpose.
PSALM 46 says:
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
So... Insha'allah... this will be a day that changes the nation of Afghanistan!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Moving in Opposition
There are many times as Christans that we are called to do things opposite to what seems intuitive. Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you.... if you have a need, give. The last shall be first. If you want to gain your life, you must lose it. Forgive those who hate you, turn the other cheek
There are many things in our Christian walks that seem to be contrary to what makes any sense, and so over time I have come to look beyond the details and see the bigger picture and see what else might be at stake. This principle was illustrated to me very clearly this week. I have been running. I have some goals and I have blogged about what my running has meant to me. 2 weeks ago, as we were achieving our biggest goal, just as we hit that mark, my knee started to twinge. Granted, I am not the youngest person around, and I work on my feet, so a twinge-y knee isn't that big of a surprise. But what happened next was.... I decided (wisely, I think) to take it easy on the knee. To give it some time to recover. Keep in mind that there was no injury or explainable event. For 2 weeks I have been icing it, and carefully walking on it-and missing my runs! I never thought I would be THAT person who was itching to get out running! But I didn't want to permanently damage anything.
I voiced my concerns to a friend who is no stranger to pain, and to working through that pain physically. He suggested-as a 'testosterone based life form' would-to power through the pain, "it's just a little wear and tear".
Having nothing to lose (and the last class of my running clinic being tonight) I decided to put this advice to the test. I was a little nervous about running for only the 2nd time in 2 weeks. I was worried about getting out on our run and then having to bail out, and walk home. And worse... as I drove to meet my running group my knee, which previously had been sore only in one spot, began to twinge in others, and then the other knee began to twinge, and then my wrist..... it was then that I realized that this was not what it seemed. I was sure that this was an attack. That the enemy was attempting to derail my progress. That in his desperate need to keep me from reaching my destiny, he had targeted the place of my biggest potential victory. As I was making this 'discovery' I realized that the last 2 weeks have been a quagmire of insecurities, and backward steps. That I was feeling defeated. I cannot do what God is calling me to without being able to run. Period. There is a vocational requirement to run, so I was being targeted for destruction.
As I sat contemplating this possibility, I knew that I had to take a gamble. I am tenacious enough to be able to power through the pain, yet I know that to run on an injury can make it worse. So I prayed. I declared that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, I declared that the lies I was getting bombarded with were not the truth, and I urgently prayed that God-the great Physician- would fix/protect/heal my knee if there was anything actually wrong with it. I know that He is big enough for all those things!
Long story short, I ran tonight, it was hard because I hadn't run that distance in a while, but the whole time I was running, my knee didn't hurt at all!
Sometimes the greatest struggle is just before the breakthrough.
There are many things in our Christian walks that seem to be contrary to what makes any sense, and so over time I have come to look beyond the details and see the bigger picture and see what else might be at stake. This principle was illustrated to me very clearly this week. I have been running. I have some goals and I have blogged about what my running has meant to me. 2 weeks ago, as we were achieving our biggest goal, just as we hit that mark, my knee started to twinge. Granted, I am not the youngest person around, and I work on my feet, so a twinge-y knee isn't that big of a surprise. But what happened next was.... I decided (wisely, I think) to take it easy on the knee. To give it some time to recover. Keep in mind that there was no injury or explainable event. For 2 weeks I have been icing it, and carefully walking on it-and missing my runs! I never thought I would be THAT person who was itching to get out running! But I didn't want to permanently damage anything.
I voiced my concerns to a friend who is no stranger to pain, and to working through that pain physically. He suggested-as a 'testosterone based life form' would-to power through the pain, "it's just a little wear and tear".
Having nothing to lose (and the last class of my running clinic being tonight) I decided to put this advice to the test. I was a little nervous about running for only the 2nd time in 2 weeks. I was worried about getting out on our run and then having to bail out, and walk home. And worse... as I drove to meet my running group my knee, which previously had been sore only in one spot, began to twinge in others, and then the other knee began to twinge, and then my wrist..... it was then that I realized that this was not what it seemed. I was sure that this was an attack. That the enemy was attempting to derail my progress. That in his desperate need to keep me from reaching my destiny, he had targeted the place of my biggest potential victory. As I was making this 'discovery' I realized that the last 2 weeks have been a quagmire of insecurities, and backward steps. That I was feeling defeated. I cannot do what God is calling me to without being able to run. Period. There is a vocational requirement to run, so I was being targeted for destruction.
As I sat contemplating this possibility, I knew that I had to take a gamble. I am tenacious enough to be able to power through the pain, yet I know that to run on an injury can make it worse. So I prayed. I declared that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, I declared that the lies I was getting bombarded with were not the truth, and I urgently prayed that God-the great Physician- would fix/protect/heal my knee if there was anything actually wrong with it. I know that He is big enough for all those things!
Long story short, I ran tonight, it was hard because I hadn't run that distance in a while, but the whole time I was running, my knee didn't hurt at all!
Sometimes the greatest struggle is just before the breakthrough.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Beautifully Heartbreaking!
As I look around me, I see that men don't know what society expects of them or what to expect of themselves. In casual conversations, and in heated debates, in heavy reading and light reading, I have seen a trend of late that shows me there is a great emptiness in the lives of men as they get mixed messages about what their roles are. The media denigrates men in so many ways, from commercials with stupid husbands, or sit-coms with overbearing wives, to movies that characterize men all too often as the bad guy. As a woman in this society, I have a strong desire to influence and inspire the men around me to be the best men that they can be. I see in the faces of friends' little boys the future superheros they aspire to. I see men every morning on their way to work getting their coffee for the day and I see in that, the desire to work hard for their families.
What I hear though from the men around me is confusion. Confusion in what they were raised to be and the pressure that they feel from society. Something as simple as holding open a door, young men often tell me that they feel like they want to and that it is the right thing to do but that they don't want to offend. I also see young women around me who treat themselves with a lack of respect that invites men down to their level and results in poor treatment ending in a reinforced view of men as the bad guys.
I came across this story and while it inspires me and it uplifts me to know that someone has taken pro-active steps, at the same time my heart breaks that this need...one that, 40 years ago might not even have existed, is so pervasive as to require such a program.
To all those seeking to invest in the lives of young men needing mentoring.... thank you!
(If you don't get a link on Facebook... here it is http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/28/obrien.bia2.harveytown.cnn)
What I hear though from the men around me is confusion. Confusion in what they were raised to be and the pressure that they feel from society. Something as simple as holding open a door, young men often tell me that they feel like they want to and that it is the right thing to do but that they don't want to offend. I also see young women around me who treat themselves with a lack of respect that invites men down to their level and results in poor treatment ending in a reinforced view of men as the bad guys.
I came across this story and while it inspires me and it uplifts me to know that someone has taken pro-active steps, at the same time my heart breaks that this need...one that, 40 years ago might not even have existed, is so pervasive as to require such a program.
To all those seeking to invest in the lives of young men needing mentoring.... thank you!
(If you don't get a link on Facebook... here it is http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/28/obrien.bia2.harveytown.cnn)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Finding what you are looking for.
I have a confession to make.... I am slightly addicted to 2 dating shows. One is the Bachelorette, and the other is a new show that I have discovered..... Dating in the Dark. They are completly different in scope, in purpose and therefore in content.
Dating in the Dark is based on the question of whether people can 'fall in love' without seeing each others' faces. I use quotations because I think that it would be very difficult to truly fall in love on a reality show. On Dating in the Dark, the people meet in the dark and date in the dark, they get to know one another over a series of dates and then, following the 'big reveal' they have to choose whether or not to meet outside the house. The one twist is that they have all filled out questionnaires and have had experts match them to a specific person. There are choices throughout when they can choose who to 'date'. In the first episode, they all chose to focus primarily on the people that the experts chose, even given the opportunity to see any of the men.
It is interesting to think that the weight of an expert opinion can so greatly sway the impact of an encounter. Is it possible that we see what we are looking for? So often, when searching for someone special it is too easy to see all the reasons NOT to take a risk, to see all the flaws.... and imagine our surprise when we actually find these things....
On the other hand, The Bachelorette is all about what is perfect....until its not. Perfect settings, perfect dates, perfect men, and one imperfect girl.... sounds........... perfect! And yet, time after time, date after date, these men fail to impress, don't live up to the high expectations.
OK.. so what do we do with this? There are easy ties to dating and seeing the good in people, but what if there is a aspect to our relationship with God? I have noticed that of late, I have been having tougher time than I normally do seeing the 'good parts' of God. It is, all about what I have been choosing to see.
I suppose in this case, I am the Bachelorette, "HOPING" to find what I have it in my head that will make me happy in my relationship with God, when what I should be doing, is listening to the 'experts' who tell me how amazing God is and how He loves me! I need to use my head more to remember the truth of God, to focus on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phil 4:8
Dating in the Dark is based on the question of whether people can 'fall in love' without seeing each others' faces. I use quotations because I think that it would be very difficult to truly fall in love on a reality show. On Dating in the Dark, the people meet in the dark and date in the dark, they get to know one another over a series of dates and then, following the 'big reveal' they have to choose whether or not to meet outside the house. The one twist is that they have all filled out questionnaires and have had experts match them to a specific person. There are choices throughout when they can choose who to 'date'. In the first episode, they all chose to focus primarily on the people that the experts chose, even given the opportunity to see any of the men.
It is interesting to think that the weight of an expert opinion can so greatly sway the impact of an encounter. Is it possible that we see what we are looking for? So often, when searching for someone special it is too easy to see all the reasons NOT to take a risk, to see all the flaws.... and imagine our surprise when we actually find these things....
On the other hand, The Bachelorette is all about what is perfect....until its not. Perfect settings, perfect dates, perfect men, and one imperfect girl.... sounds........... perfect! And yet, time after time, date after date, these men fail to impress, don't live up to the high expectations.
OK.. so what do we do with this? There are easy ties to dating and seeing the good in people, but what if there is a aspect to our relationship with God? I have noticed that of late, I have been having tougher time than I normally do seeing the 'good parts' of God. It is, all about what I have been choosing to see.
I suppose in this case, I am the Bachelorette, "HOPING" to find what I have it in my head that will make me happy in my relationship with God, when what I should be doing, is listening to the 'experts' who tell me how amazing God is and how He loves me! I need to use my head more to remember the truth of God, to focus on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phil 4:8
Friday, July 17, 2009
Titles
You have, most likely heard of the idea that often the place of your greatest battle or fear is the place of greatest strength that God wants to use you. There are so many times in my life where I have dreaded looking behind the veil of that sentiment. I suppose that is the point of fear isn’t it? The enemies way of keeping us bound in exactly the areas that God has ordained for us to make the biggest impact. I have discovered as well, that sometimes things that start simply as fears, overtime can develop into a belief that we have about ourselves. I have had to face some of these beliefs lately. I have long desired to be in better shape. However, it is one of those things that you just can’t hope to have happen to you, it is something that you have to believe is possible for you and then put in the hours of work to get there. God has this interesting way of going about things!
2 years ago, somewhat suddenly, I was empowered, encouraged, and inspired to change my eating habits. Some of that journey is recorded in previous posts, and I could probably write for months abut that, it was totally God’s providential assistance that allowed me to complete that program. I have never before followed through on anything like that before. It had become a lie in my life that I wasn’t someone who could ‘stick to’ a diet or exercise regime, and in order to not feel the disappointment every time I failed, I bought into the lie that was one of those people who just couldn’t diet. Then God got a hold of me, overrode those beliefs supernaturally, and truly provided me all the tools I needed to overcome. Then I went away, to the desert in the middle of summer, I never thought I was someone who could live in the heat, but He forced my hand, and protected me. He took me places and had me experience things that were amazing.
For some of these experiences, I drew on my successes with weightloss to prove to myself that I could power through and follow through. The story of David, when he was going out to Goliath and spoke of his bear-killing history finishes with the assertion that “this will be like that”. David believed in God’s ability to deliver Goliath into his hands because there was a history. Then as time went on, and new amazing things were accomplished in God, those became the “bear” God had helped me kill!
Through all this, a call to fitness has been burning within me, only to flame out when I tried it alone. Then Ottawa Race weekend came along. Thousands and thousands and thousands of people participate! My roommate at the time, inspired me to sign up for the 5K. At the time of signing up, I was pretty sure that, if forced into it, I could walk 5km without dying, but I knew that I couldn’t run anywhere close to that distance. I was supposed to train, and practice, I had bought a treadmill that got very little use, by the time race weekend came along. As race day approached, I got more and more frustrated, annoyed and angry at myself for failing in this area once again. It was only because I made this commitment to my roommate, and she was going to be there to cheer me on (she was running a different distance) that I even went. Had she not driven me, I might have bailed.
Standing there, among thousands of people I felt like the biggest fraud. I fully expected at any moment, someone to point at me and race officials would come over and physically eject me from the race. I didn’t belong there among all those people… and it was hot…. And I didn’t have the right shoes…. And … and …..and
And then, I took a moment to list all the counter arguments for the lies that were chasing each other around my mind trying to shame me into giving in and giving up. The proofs I used were:
1) I PAID so just that entitled me to a spot at the start line
2) Hot? This isn’t hot… the dessert is Hot! I lived there, I can do this!
3) Right now, there are soldiers in Afghanistan who would LOVE to be able to opt out of the need to run 5K this afternoon, except with them, they have 80-100 pounds of gear… if they can do that, YOU can do this!
As the race started, I was still fighting all the emotions and all of the thoughts that would disqualify me from this accomplishment. As I crossed the START line I was chocking back tears, and the desire to sit and weep. Then the smiling face of my roommate appeared in the midst of the crowd, there she was cheering me on! And I started to run!
I would love to tell you that I ran like the wind, finished well, and am setting world records all over the world, but that is not really how it works, is it?
At the end of the course, everyone was given a medal, everyone! It is fun to say that I got a medal in my FIRST 5k! Only I need to know whole story!
On the way home, my roommate kept jokingly announcing to the cars around us that they needed to let us through because “she’s an athlete!” It is amazing what can happen in the spirit of someone when they buy into a ‘title change’. I had never thought of myself as athletic, and I certainly not ‘earned’ it. But I felt like, in that moment, God changed my title.
I have since joined a running club and loving getting out and running pushing myself further and seeing what I am capable of. I know that it is all about God’s provision and God working on the inside to change those titles I have given myself.
What titles have you called yourself that God wants to break off to bring you to the next level of your destiny?
2 years ago, somewhat suddenly, I was empowered, encouraged, and inspired to change my eating habits. Some of that journey is recorded in previous posts, and I could probably write for months abut that, it was totally God’s providential assistance that allowed me to complete that program. I have never before followed through on anything like that before. It had become a lie in my life that I wasn’t someone who could ‘stick to’ a diet or exercise regime, and in order to not feel the disappointment every time I failed, I bought into the lie that was one of those people who just couldn’t diet. Then God got a hold of me, overrode those beliefs supernaturally, and truly provided me all the tools I needed to overcome. Then I went away, to the desert in the middle of summer, I never thought I was someone who could live in the heat, but He forced my hand, and protected me. He took me places and had me experience things that were amazing.
For some of these experiences, I drew on my successes with weightloss to prove to myself that I could power through and follow through. The story of David, when he was going out to Goliath and spoke of his bear-killing history finishes with the assertion that “this will be like that”. David believed in God’s ability to deliver Goliath into his hands because there was a history. Then as time went on, and new amazing things were accomplished in God, those became the “bear” God had helped me kill!
Through all this, a call to fitness has been burning within me, only to flame out when I tried it alone. Then Ottawa Race weekend came along. Thousands and thousands and thousands of people participate! My roommate at the time, inspired me to sign up for the 5K. At the time of signing up, I was pretty sure that, if forced into it, I could walk 5km without dying, but I knew that I couldn’t run anywhere close to that distance. I was supposed to train, and practice, I had bought a treadmill that got very little use, by the time race weekend came along. As race day approached, I got more and more frustrated, annoyed and angry at myself for failing in this area once again. It was only because I made this commitment to my roommate, and she was going to be there to cheer me on (she was running a different distance) that I even went. Had she not driven me, I might have bailed.
Standing there, among thousands of people I felt like the biggest fraud. I fully expected at any moment, someone to point at me and race officials would come over and physically eject me from the race. I didn’t belong there among all those people… and it was hot…. And I didn’t have the right shoes…. And … and …..and
And then, I took a moment to list all the counter arguments for the lies that were chasing each other around my mind trying to shame me into giving in and giving up. The proofs I used were:
1) I PAID so just that entitled me to a spot at the start line
2) Hot? This isn’t hot… the dessert is Hot! I lived there, I can do this!
3) Right now, there are soldiers in Afghanistan who would LOVE to be able to opt out of the need to run 5K this afternoon, except with them, they have 80-100 pounds of gear… if they can do that, YOU can do this!
As the race started, I was still fighting all the emotions and all of the thoughts that would disqualify me from this accomplishment. As I crossed the START line I was chocking back tears, and the desire to sit and weep. Then the smiling face of my roommate appeared in the midst of the crowd, there she was cheering me on! And I started to run!
I would love to tell you that I ran like the wind, finished well, and am setting world records all over the world, but that is not really how it works, is it?
At the end of the course, everyone was given a medal, everyone! It is fun to say that I got a medal in my FIRST 5k! Only I need to know whole story!
On the way home, my roommate kept jokingly announcing to the cars around us that they needed to let us through because “she’s an athlete!” It is amazing what can happen in the spirit of someone when they buy into a ‘title change’. I had never thought of myself as athletic, and I certainly not ‘earned’ it. But I felt like, in that moment, God changed my title.
I have since joined a running club and loving getting out and running pushing myself further and seeing what I am capable of. I know that it is all about God’s provision and God working on the inside to change those titles I have given myself.
What titles have you called yourself that God wants to break off to bring you to the next level of your destiny?
Monday, July 06, 2009
Can it be true?
I cannot believe that one year ago today I was on a plane on my way to an incredible adventure. It is incredible to me what God is capable of bringing us through in such a short time! It is remarkable to think that no matter how I have felt, or what I wanted out of this experience, God stuck assertively to His better agenda for what needed to be accomplished in me!
I am excited for what is next.
I am excited for what is next.
Friday, July 03, 2009
From the cities to the ends of the earth!
I Love Canada, and yet more and more God is calling me to places abroad. It occurred yesterday as we celebrated Canada Day at church I was once again overwhelmed by my love for Canada. I began to wonder to myself how this love of Canada translates to leaving her boarders so often in my mind and heart. There was a whispered response.
“you can only love Canada more when you see her in relation to others around.” It is true so often that you don’t know or appreciate what you have until it is gone. You don’t appreciate the municipal water supply until you have to use bottled water to brush your teeth. The roads that get blocked with construction for so long can best be appreciated when you walk on nothing but dirt and gravel. You come to realize that there are people whose voice can never be heard, or whose face will never be seen outside their families, and you realize what a privilege it is to live here.
It is my desperate desire to serve Canada and serve God in the destiny of our nation. I feel as though my ability to serve Canada is directly proportionate to how much I love her and her people. As our amazing Arts pastor said in her amazing talk on Sunday “what moves you to compassion is the key to unlocking your destiny”.
“you can only love Canada more when you see her in relation to others around.” It is true so often that you don’t know or appreciate what you have until it is gone. You don’t appreciate the municipal water supply until you have to use bottled water to brush your teeth. The roads that get blocked with construction for so long can best be appreciated when you walk on nothing but dirt and gravel. You come to realize that there are people whose voice can never be heard, or whose face will never be seen outside their families, and you realize what a privilege it is to live here.
It is my desperate desire to serve Canada and serve God in the destiny of our nation. I feel as though my ability to serve Canada is directly proportionate to how much I love her and her people. As our amazing Arts pastor said in her amazing talk on Sunday “what moves you to compassion is the key to unlocking your destiny”.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Why I Love Canada
There are so many things that are going on in our world right now that can cause people to look at Canada as a challenging place to be. There is so much that is wrong with the way our society works, but it is still (in my opinion) the best place in the world to live. I have, as a result of my experiences this year, some insight into how those around the world live, and they compared to almost anywhere else, our amazing country rises above the others.
Here are some of the reasons that I love Canada
1) It was founded upon the principle that people can come to agreement without bloodshed
2) I love that I can vote in elections without fear of intimidation, discrimination, or corruption
3) I love that there is diversity of landscape, weather and cultures
4) I love that no matter where you go in the world, Canadians are respected
5) I love that we are wiling and able to come to the aid of others who are less free. Whether leading peacekeeping missions or combat missions, we effectively use our resources to give to those who need our help
6) I love that as a woman, there are no limitations on my dreams and aspirations
7) I love that whether I agree with you or not, you have the right to spout whatever ignorant, uninformed beliefs that you have.
8) I love that from the Atlantic to the Pacific, Hockey and Tim Horton’s binds us together! And I love that we have exported both to the mission in Afghanistan!
9) I love that a Canadian passport implies “friend” not enemy
10) I love that other nations smile indulgently at our collective naivety in some areas because we have never experienced some of the horrors of things like civil war, deep atrocities, war within our boarders and apartheid.
11) I love that the children in my life are almost guaranteed to never experience starvation, illiteracy, war in their street, or persecution.
12) I love that Canada is not always easy to love, but that she engenders a passionate response in so many people, passionate responses means that people are engaged. Even if it just enough to complain about the weather!
Happy Birthday Canada!
Here are some of the reasons that I love Canada
1) It was founded upon the principle that people can come to agreement without bloodshed
2) I love that I can vote in elections without fear of intimidation, discrimination, or corruption
3) I love that there is diversity of landscape, weather and cultures
4) I love that no matter where you go in the world, Canadians are respected
5) I love that we are wiling and able to come to the aid of others who are less free. Whether leading peacekeeping missions or combat missions, we effectively use our resources to give to those who need our help
6) I love that as a woman, there are no limitations on my dreams and aspirations
7) I love that whether I agree with you or not, you have the right to spout whatever ignorant, uninformed beliefs that you have.
8) I love that from the Atlantic to the Pacific, Hockey and Tim Horton’s binds us together! And I love that we have exported both to the mission in Afghanistan!
9) I love that a Canadian passport implies “friend” not enemy
10) I love that other nations smile indulgently at our collective naivety in some areas because we have never experienced some of the horrors of things like civil war, deep atrocities, war within our boarders and apartheid.
11) I love that the children in my life are almost guaranteed to never experience starvation, illiteracy, war in their street, or persecution.
12) I love that Canada is not always easy to love, but that she engenders a passionate response in so many people, passionate responses means that people are engaged. Even if it just enough to complain about the weather!
Happy Birthday Canada!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
You gotta let Jesus water it!
In January I decided that this would be the year of flowers. I was given a dozen roses upon my return from overseas and loved it! In February, I was given a rose plant by a good friend for Valentines Day “so that you will never be without”. This rose plant has been an interesting metaphor for my life in the last few months as I have sought frankly to not kill it! I am not really one you would describe as having a green thumb. I love how flowers look in the house and the joy they bring to my life.
Over the months, this plant has seen good days and bad days. It was thriving nicely and then I went away for a week, I thought it would be OK, but sadly, it seemed worse for wear when I got home! Imagine that! I worked hard with my limited ability to nurse it back to health! Finally, I decided to do something drastic! I got rid of all the dead stuff, and bought a very pretty pot to put it in (I am pretty sure that plants like a pretty pot!) and replanted it with some Miracle Grow potting soil. I asked a few expert types what the best approach was for this poor plant. Finally, the friend who gave it to me asked me where it was in the house. I told her in the kitchen close to the windows that get sun from 2 directions, but that I wasn’t sure how often to water it or anything like that. Her response? “put it outside and let Jesus water it!”
By this point, the plant was little more than thorny twigs in a pretty pot, so I figured I had nothing to lose! Sure enough, this morning when I went out I noticed that it was getting some leaves back on it.
It occurred to me that this is a great example of my life in Christ! Since returning from my experiences overseas, there have been some dry times, there have been times of feeling neglected (maybe even by God) I have felt thirsty and I have for sure felt like I had nothing left. I wasn’t blooming, or seeming to be benefiting anyone, I was just becoming thorny twigs. There have been some moments in the sun and others of dryness I have never experienced before. I have realized that in all this time, there was Someone who was invested in my well-being, who wants nothing more than to see me thrive.
Where this metaphor falls apart, of course, is that my plant didn’t choose to reject, pout or decline the life giving water that was being offered. It didn’t complain that the temperature was not quite what it wanted and therefore questioned my good intentions toward it! Of course, in this experience with God, it could be argued that I did all these things and yet the great Gardener kept at it, pruning, removing the dead leaves, stripping me down to the core of who I am in Him. He has been teaching me to rely on Him more and more. In all of our circumstances, we can choose to strive, or we can take God at His word that He will take care of the lilies of the field how much more will He take care of us.
Over the months, this plant has seen good days and bad days. It was thriving nicely and then I went away for a week, I thought it would be OK, but sadly, it seemed worse for wear when I got home! Imagine that! I worked hard with my limited ability to nurse it back to health! Finally, I decided to do something drastic! I got rid of all the dead stuff, and bought a very pretty pot to put it in (I am pretty sure that plants like a pretty pot!) and replanted it with some Miracle Grow potting soil. I asked a few expert types what the best approach was for this poor plant. Finally, the friend who gave it to me asked me where it was in the house. I told her in the kitchen close to the windows that get sun from 2 directions, but that I wasn’t sure how often to water it or anything like that. Her response? “put it outside and let Jesus water it!”
By this point, the plant was little more than thorny twigs in a pretty pot, so I figured I had nothing to lose! Sure enough, this morning when I went out I noticed that it was getting some leaves back on it.
It occurred to me that this is a great example of my life in Christ! Since returning from my experiences overseas, there have been some dry times, there have been times of feeling neglected (maybe even by God) I have felt thirsty and I have for sure felt like I had nothing left. I wasn’t blooming, or seeming to be benefiting anyone, I was just becoming thorny twigs. There have been some moments in the sun and others of dryness I have never experienced before. I have realized that in all this time, there was Someone who was invested in my well-being, who wants nothing more than to see me thrive.
Where this metaphor falls apart, of course, is that my plant didn’t choose to reject, pout or decline the life giving water that was being offered. It didn’t complain that the temperature was not quite what it wanted and therefore questioned my good intentions toward it! Of course, in this experience with God, it could be argued that I did all these things and yet the great Gardener kept at it, pruning, removing the dead leaves, stripping me down to the core of who I am in Him. He has been teaching me to rely on Him more and more. In all of our circumstances, we can choose to strive, or we can take God at His word that He will take care of the lilies of the field how much more will He take care of us.
I am looking forward to seeing what else I can put out and just simply let Jesus water!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Fighting through
Today I participated in an event that I have wanted to do for a long time and yet never thought I had it in me. I did a 5km race. It was a big achievement-not from an athletic perspective, my time was horrible. Good thing that wasn't the point of today though. The point today was simply to show up and to finish.
Surprisingly, simply showing up was a battle that I didn't expect. I realized as I stood there waiting for the race to start that I was fighting this whole idea that I didn't belong and that given the fact that I wimped out on my training, I probably didn't even deserve this achievement.
As the race began, I actually began to cry as my iPod played Jonny Lang's "Only a Man". One verse of the song is an exchange between "the man" and God:
Man: I'll give you my burdens...
God: I'll give you peaced
Man:..all of my desires
God: ..... I'll give you what you need
Man:...what about these chains, Lord
God: I'll set you free
Man: But they're so heavy
God: Just lay them at my feet
Man: Just promise you won't leave me
God:I'll never leave
Man: So where do I go from here. Lord
God: Just follow me, just follow me
It was a beautiful reminder that no matter what the burdens, the lies I have believed about myself, or the limitations that I thought Iwould never overcome, all these things are chains that God has said He will take and deal with.
As the rest of the journey unfolded, God used the music on my iPod to motivate and speak to me about the truth of Who He is.
I am grateful to have a God who doesn't hold us ransom to our inadequacies.
I am also grateful for an amazing friend who cheered me on, and made her voice heard above the crowd to let me know she was proud of me! Thanks roommie!
Surprisingly, simply showing up was a battle that I didn't expect. I realized as I stood there waiting for the race to start that I was fighting this whole idea that I didn't belong and that given the fact that I wimped out on my training, I probably didn't even deserve this achievement.
As the race began, I actually began to cry as my iPod played Jonny Lang's "Only a Man". One verse of the song is an exchange between "the man" and God:
Man: I'll give you my burdens...
God: I'll give you peaced
Man:..all of my desires
God: ..... I'll give you what you need
Man:...what about these chains, Lord
God: I'll set you free
Man: But they're so heavy
God: Just lay them at my feet
Man: Just promise you won't leave me
God:I'll never leave
Man: So where do I go from here. Lord
God: Just follow me, just follow me
It was a beautiful reminder that no matter what the burdens, the lies I have believed about myself, or the limitations that I thought Iwould never overcome, all these things are chains that God has said He will take and deal with.
As the rest of the journey unfolded, God used the music on my iPod to motivate and speak to me about the truth of Who He is.
I am grateful to have a God who doesn't hold us ransom to our inadequacies.
I am also grateful for an amazing friend who cheered me on, and made her voice heard above the crowd to let me know she was proud of me! Thanks roommie!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The sound of peace!
As I studied today for a paper I am writing on Galatians, I was reminded of how much I love the feel and the sound of Bible pages turning. As I browsed through looking for a particular scripture, it occurred to me how amazing God is for even this detail. That some one would decide that His word was worthy of special treatment and leather and gold edged pages. It just adds an aspect of beauty to the study of His precious Word.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Long time... good times
It is my deep desire to realign some things in my life. To reclaim the priorities that need to be in their right place. Part of that is blogging and writing. It has been a long time since I flexed this muscle and so I beg your indulgence as I get back into the swing of things.
In the last year much has changed and things have not always been easy but with the grace of God, I continue to press into Him and He will bring me through.
In the last year much has changed and things have not always been easy but with the grace of God, I continue to press into Him and He will bring me through.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
And that's my brother!
Happy Birthday to my Brother!
Today is his birthday and so here are the top things I like about him.
I like that he is older, and he had to go first... always!
I love that he taught me how to tie my shoes
I like that I can always find him in a crowd!
I LOVE that there is no one I know more clear-headed in a crisis.
I love how much he loves his daughter!
I admire him for tackling life's difficulties in what is sometimes the most difficult way.... just showing up.
I like that he can give me a hug that envelopes me... not many people can
I even like that they are kind of rare... because then I get to enjoy them more!
I like that he is thoughtful when it matters most.
I liked being well known in high school as "Shorty's sister".
He is generous, and big hearted!
I love that everywhere he goes, there are friends he cares about.
I love when he gets me laughing until I can't breathe!
I love it when he is most himself and the depths of who he is comes forth.
I love that he can bring me to tears with a well-timed email!
You don't know big brother, because I don't tell you enough, how much I love you, and how inspired I am that you are following your life-long dream. To see you passionate about the next step calls me to higher things.
Keep going, keep being who you are, I am cheering you on from the sidelines.....
Happy Birthday!
And that my friends is my brother.....
Today is his birthday and so here are the top things I like about him.
I like that he is older, and he had to go first... always!
I love that he taught me how to tie my shoes
I like that I can always find him in a crowd!
I LOVE that there is no one I know more clear-headed in a crisis.
I love how much he loves his daughter!
I admire him for tackling life's difficulties in what is sometimes the most difficult way.... just showing up.
I like that he can give me a hug that envelopes me... not many people can
I even like that they are kind of rare... because then I get to enjoy them more!
I like that he is thoughtful when it matters most.
I liked being well known in high school as "Shorty's sister".
He is generous, and big hearted!
I love that everywhere he goes, there are friends he cares about.
I love when he gets me laughing until I can't breathe!
I love it when he is most himself and the depths of who he is comes forth.
I love that he can bring me to tears with a well-timed email!
You don't know big brother, because I don't tell you enough, how much I love you, and how inspired I am that you are following your life-long dream. To see you passionate about the next step calls me to higher things.
Keep going, keep being who you are, I am cheering you on from the sidelines.....
Happy Birthday!
And that my friends is my brother.....
Saturday, February 14, 2009
My Valentine's Day
I have fallen in love this Valentine's day! Today was a beautiful sunny winter day. I ventured downtown to take in the beauty of the day and Winterlude.
As I wandered around I was reminded of just how much I love this city that I live in. Being the Nation's Capital it hosts so many amazing sights and events and festivals. Here are some of the sights I saw...
I love seeing the flag flapping in the breeze over Parliament Hill!
Any time you forget about what is right in front of you, it is easy to assume that the somewhere is better.... but when you recall what is amazing! Anywhere can be home!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Pocket Litter
I am reading a book about undercover agents (That will surprise almost none of you) and I came across a fun descriptor. It is "Pocket Litter". Pocket litter is defined as all that extra stuff that you collect as a result of just living your life.... like the receipts in your wallet, parking stubs, mints from restaurants.. ladies it is all that stuff that swims around at the bottom of your purse- it is important for undercover agents to establish the credibility of their "cover".....
I have decided that I like the term and will use it as much as I can.... Today I was trying to rid myself of all the "pocket litter" that fills up space on a laptop that you have had for many years. (good use of my new vocab!) All over the hard drive are articles partly written, little "post-it" notes with confirmation numbers for service calls I made 2 years ago, and spreadsheets with big plans for changing the world.... but buried in the pocket litter, I found this quote....
"Opportunity comes from expertise, not just luck, talent, and passion. If you find it impossibly tedious to become an expert about what you think matters to you, then you're not chasing a dream, you're just daydreaming." - By Jerry Porras
OUCH... I don't recall who Jerry Porras is, or where I heard this or read this but clearly it had an impact. I realize that I am truly just daydreaming about so many things.
I think that I will spend a little more time fishing for treasures amongst the "pocket litter"
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Purpose
Many people have asked me what the best part about my time overseas was. I would have to say the sense of purpose. The camp that I lived at was very large, yet had no unemployment. No one is there without a purpose or a job. Everyone knows their job and role and how that impacts the whole mandate. It was truly a practical example of the way a body works. I had one job, and if I did my job well, others would have what they needed to do their job well. It is amazing how a sense of purpose raises the whole feel of an environment.
People walk taller, they speak with authority, there are none who are higher or lower and none who are mooching off the others. When you meet someone here in Canada and you ask them what they do for a living, we often use that to judge their value or worth. But in an environment where all have purpose and all are doing their job, when you ask someone what they do, it serves to show you one more piece of the overall puzzle.
The Bible talks about vision and purpose, and how without a vision the people perish-Proverbs 16:4 The LORD has made everything for its purpose,even the wicked for the day of trouble. And I have found it to be true that it is life-giving to have a purpose. Some people feel like they have no purpose...
Exodus 9:16 But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth.
So rise up and take your purpose. Our pastor said on Sunday, if you are looking for your calling you don't need to.... we are all called to proclaim Christ, the difference for each person is in the HOW. What is your "How?" How has God uniquely equipped you for His service?
People walk taller, they speak with authority, there are none who are higher or lower and none who are mooching off the others. When you meet someone here in Canada and you ask them what they do for a living, we often use that to judge their value or worth. But in an environment where all have purpose and all are doing their job, when you ask someone what they do, it serves to show you one more piece of the overall puzzle.
The Bible talks about vision and purpose, and how without a vision the people perish-Proverbs 16:4 The LORD has made everything for its purpose,even the wicked for the day of trouble. And I have found it to be true that it is life-giving to have a purpose. Some people feel like they have no purpose...
Exodus 9:16 But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth.
So rise up and take your purpose. Our pastor said on Sunday, if you are looking for your calling you don't need to.... we are all called to proclaim Christ, the difference for each person is in the HOW. What is your "How?" How has God uniquely equipped you for His service?
Friday, February 06, 2009
The Checklist
OK... so it begins...
Midweek sitting in my trackpants........ check
Reading excessive amounts of literature.......check
Wondering what I got myself into.......check
Hoping this will have some practical application.......check
Craving chips and pizza...... check and check
High liklihood of Kraft Dinner for lunch..... check
Yep..... its official! I am a student! What is next?? Mr. Noodles...... mmmmm Mr. Noodles, I think they sell them by the case............
I have just put into motion a lifelong dream and expectation of myself to complete my Bachelor's Degree. I have an opportunity now to do that online. I can't wait!
Here we go!
Midweek sitting in my trackpants........ check
Reading excessive amounts of literature.......check
Wondering what I got myself into.......check
Hoping this will have some practical application.......check
Craving chips and pizza...... check and check
High liklihood of Kraft Dinner for lunch..... check
Yep..... its official! I am a student! What is next?? Mr. Noodles...... mmmmm Mr. Noodles, I think they sell them by the case............
I have just put into motion a lifelong dream and expectation of myself to complete my Bachelor's Degree. I have an opportunity now to do that online. I can't wait!
Here we go!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Sad Sad Sad
This article appeared on CNN.com
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/05/army.suicides/index.html
The quote that stood out to me more than others:
The Army said it already has confirmed seven suicides, with 17 additional cases pending that it believes investigators will confirm as suicides for January.
If those prove true, more soldiers will have killed themselves than died in combat last month. According to Pentagon statistics, there were 16 U.S. combat deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq in January.
We need to pray. We need to lift up our troops.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/05/army.suicides/index.html
The quote that stood out to me more than others:
The Army said it already has confirmed seven suicides, with 17 additional cases pending that it believes investigators will confirm as suicides for January.
If those prove true, more soldiers will have killed themselves than died in combat last month. According to Pentagon statistics, there were 16 U.S. combat deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq in January.
We need to pray. We need to lift up our troops.
Monday, February 02, 2009
You know it's a bad day when!
You know its a bad day when you turn to JOB and find encouragement!
In my bumpy road back to life here, I had a very bad weekend. It got to the point where on Sunday I was sitting in church (mostly because I really didn't want to answer the questions of why I didn't go!) all I could do was weep. I didn't know why, I couldn't put it into words, I just wanted to sit in the room where I knew God was going to be for sure, and be a little angry with Him, and be a little sad, and be a little out of sorts. As I sat there tuning in and out of the sermon I couldn't have even told you what was wrong. I opened my Bible for the first time in many days.
While I was away there was a scripture that a few of us had been talking about and I had put a bookmark there to re-read it later. I opened it yesterday and began to read. In Job 22:21-30 I saw something I had never seen before. We so often quote the Psalm "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". I have, many times wanted to know more about what "delighting" means as regards to God- I suppose so that I could have the key to unlocking the rest... but that is for another day!- and here it was again, right in front of me:
26For then you will delight yourself in the Almighty and lift up your face to God
As I looked back into the previous verses, the bullet points hit me one after another.....
23: If you return to the Almighty
23: If you remove injustice from your hands
24: If you lay gold in the dust
25:THEN THE ALMIGHTY WILL BE YOUR GOLD AND YOUR PRECIOUS SILVER
With EVERYTHING in me... I want The Almighty to be that precious to me! I WANT to delight myself in Him, and I know that a place of delight will be all I desire.
There is a song that has been resonating through my soul for weeks.... it is by Steve Bell called "Here by the Water". It could really be this passage in Job set to music. Isn't it cool how God sets us up!
In my bumpy road back to life here, I had a very bad weekend. It got to the point where on Sunday I was sitting in church (mostly because I really didn't want to answer the questions of why I didn't go!) all I could do was weep. I didn't know why, I couldn't put it into words, I just wanted to sit in the room where I knew God was going to be for sure, and be a little angry with Him, and be a little sad, and be a little out of sorts. As I sat there tuning in and out of the sermon I couldn't have even told you what was wrong. I opened my Bible for the first time in many days.
While I was away there was a scripture that a few of us had been talking about and I had put a bookmark there to re-read it later. I opened it yesterday and began to read. In Job 22:21-30 I saw something I had never seen before. We so often quote the Psalm "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". I have, many times wanted to know more about what "delighting" means as regards to God- I suppose so that I could have the key to unlocking the rest... but that is for another day!- and here it was again, right in front of me:
26For then you will delight yourself in the Almighty and lift up your face to God
As I looked back into the previous verses, the bullet points hit me one after another.....
23: If you return to the Almighty
23: If you remove injustice from your hands
24: If you lay gold in the dust
25:THEN THE ALMIGHTY WILL BE YOUR GOLD AND YOUR PRECIOUS SILVER
With EVERYTHING in me... I want The Almighty to be that precious to me! I WANT to delight myself in Him, and I know that a place of delight will be all I desire.
There is a song that has been resonating through my soul for weeks.... it is by Steve Bell called "Here by the Water". It could really be this passage in Job set to music. Isn't it cool how God sets us up!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Re-Entry
I suppose we have all watched lots of space movies where the astronauts have to reenter the earth's atmosphere. Having watched those movies, we know that the most dangerous time for a space flight is the re-entry. I am not an astronaut nor have I ever spoken to one, however I think that I can safely make some assumptions about what might be going on their heads at the most important times. I would imagine that just before descent, there is a feeling of excitement for the upcoming reunions with family and friends, nervousness at the realities of the dangers, a tiny desire to just stay where you are despite the distance but a determination to pull it all together and do what your job says you are supposed to do, but mostly I would imagine there is a strong feeling that this is all out of my control and all I can do is hang on!
How can I imagine these things?? Because in my return from overseas, I have felt all of these feelings.
After a long time away from home like that, most people assume that you are totally ecstatic to be home. That you cannot possibly want to go anywhere for a long time, and just to sit in the kitchen of family is all you want to do. While all that is very true... it is not the whole story.
I have found in the midst of re-entry that I have been surprised. I have been surprised by the sheer number of people who are so excited to see me. I have been amazed at how much things have changed while at the same time, stayed exactly the same.
Logistically, my return has been easy. Same house, same friends, same church that looks the same, and I am so grateful for that. It has been seamless to slip back into my life as it was before. But like so many things, the challenges come in the little things.
With all the big stuff taken care of, I expected that life would simply pick up where it left off.... and then it didn't. There was a moment just after I got home that I realized that there would be differences, and they might just catch me off guard. I would have to watch out for those things.
A really funny and strange example of that was the first time I went out with friends. We were going to a club for some one's birthday, and I opened my jewellery box to choose some earrings and stopped. I realized I had NO idea what the current styles were. Although it seems insignificant, it was the first of many things that I had to navigate through. My friend who had also just returned was going to the same event and as I picked her up, we BOTH realized we didn't know whether our earrings were still in style! As we made our way to the event, I was nervous about it.
Once we got to the event, I totally forgot about the issue and even realized later that I forgot to check those around me. But the stress of that moment was an indicator of bigger things to come. I suddenly realized that I would, in a hundred different ways have to choose to overcome the fear that travels alongside uncertainty. If I let those moments, they could overwhelm me and cause me to shrink back into myself. I am choosing to not let those moments dictate my actions, however, like what those astronauts in my movies do, I will continue to monitor the indicators and watch for early warning signs, all the while stay fixed on my destination. Hang on, it might be a bit bumpy.......
How can I imagine these things?? Because in my return from overseas, I have felt all of these feelings.
After a long time away from home like that, most people assume that you are totally ecstatic to be home. That you cannot possibly want to go anywhere for a long time, and just to sit in the kitchen of family is all you want to do. While all that is very true... it is not the whole story.
I have found in the midst of re-entry that I have been surprised. I have been surprised by the sheer number of people who are so excited to see me. I have been amazed at how much things have changed while at the same time, stayed exactly the same.
Logistically, my return has been easy. Same house, same friends, same church that looks the same, and I am so grateful for that. It has been seamless to slip back into my life as it was before. But like so many things, the challenges come in the little things.
With all the big stuff taken care of, I expected that life would simply pick up where it left off.... and then it didn't. There was a moment just after I got home that I realized that there would be differences, and they might just catch me off guard. I would have to watch out for those things.
A really funny and strange example of that was the first time I went out with friends. We were going to a club for some one's birthday, and I opened my jewellery box to choose some earrings and stopped. I realized I had NO idea what the current styles were. Although it seems insignificant, it was the first of many things that I had to navigate through. My friend who had also just returned was going to the same event and as I picked her up, we BOTH realized we didn't know whether our earrings were still in style! As we made our way to the event, I was nervous about it.
Once we got to the event, I totally forgot about the issue and even realized later that I forgot to check those around me. But the stress of that moment was an indicator of bigger things to come. I suddenly realized that I would, in a hundred different ways have to choose to overcome the fear that travels alongside uncertainty. If I let those moments, they could overwhelm me and cause me to shrink back into myself. I am choosing to not let those moments dictate my actions, however, like what those astronauts in my movies do, I will continue to monitor the indicators and watch for early warning signs, all the while stay fixed on my destination. Hang on, it might be a bit bumpy.......
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Trusting God More!
I am back! I have returned from 6 months in the Middle East! It was an amazing experience and there is so much that needs to be written about!
In the midst of a return to civilization and this world (it really is like living on another planet!) , there have been some unexpected challenges. The organization that I worked for provides for some of the costs associated with "re-entry". I stored my car, and so it needed work to get it back on the road. Except mine was more than 5 times the amount that was allocated. I can only assume that they looked at the 'usual' costs and found out the average costs of getting a car road worthy again. That was, to say the least, upsetting, then within 2 DAYS, I have had another circumstance with the car that will be another large chunk of money!
As I drove away from the garage after hearing yet another $800 quote for something that NEEDS to be repaired so that I can renew my license (So it's not even optional!), I was in tears, and very angry. I began to cry out to God. "Why is this happening?" "You are supposed to protect my finances" and "I am just trying to be a good steward with what You provided and this stuff is outside my control to balance!" It was just a moment of pure frustration.
As I spent time with a friend and was telling her the story, she is a newer Christian and I was trying to "spin" it so that God would be given the glory, even though I didn't feel that way, I felt like I could mentor her a bit in the thought process. As I did, though, the things I was saying about what the Truth is began to work on my heart.
I realized that this circumstance is not a surprise to God. He knew it was going to happen. He knows the future, my job situation, and my bank balance, He holds it all in His hands and He has the responsibility to provide.
While I was away, there were no money challenges, I got paid VERY well, and where I was living everything was taken care of. No need to trust God for the moment by moment realities of expensive finances. Having that as a non-stressor, I want to live like that again. I want to walk through everyday knowing that Someone has a plan for provision. So I have to trust God more!
In the midst of a return to civilization and this world (it really is like living on another planet!) , there have been some unexpected challenges. The organization that I worked for provides for some of the costs associated with "re-entry". I stored my car, and so it needed work to get it back on the road. Except mine was more than 5 times the amount that was allocated. I can only assume that they looked at the 'usual' costs and found out the average costs of getting a car road worthy again. That was, to say the least, upsetting, then within 2 DAYS, I have had another circumstance with the car that will be another large chunk of money!
As I drove away from the garage after hearing yet another $800 quote for something that NEEDS to be repaired so that I can renew my license (So it's not even optional!), I was in tears, and very angry. I began to cry out to God. "Why is this happening?" "You are supposed to protect my finances" and "I am just trying to be a good steward with what You provided and this stuff is outside my control to balance!" It was just a moment of pure frustration.
As I spent time with a friend and was telling her the story, she is a newer Christian and I was trying to "spin" it so that God would be given the glory, even though I didn't feel that way, I felt like I could mentor her a bit in the thought process. As I did, though, the things I was saying about what the Truth is began to work on my heart.
I realized that this circumstance is not a surprise to God. He knew it was going to happen. He knows the future, my job situation, and my bank balance, He holds it all in His hands and He has the responsibility to provide.
While I was away, there were no money challenges, I got paid VERY well, and where I was living everything was taken care of. No need to trust God for the moment by moment realities of expensive finances. Having that as a non-stressor, I want to live like that again. I want to walk through everyday knowing that Someone has a plan for provision. So I have to trust God more!
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