As I look around me, I see that men don't know what society expects of them or what to expect of themselves. In casual conversations, and in heated debates, in heavy reading and light reading, I have seen a trend of late that shows me there is a great emptiness in the lives of men as they get mixed messages about what their roles are. The media denigrates men in so many ways, from commercials with stupid husbands, or sit-coms with overbearing wives, to movies that characterize men all too often as the bad guy. As a woman in this society, I have a strong desire to influence and inspire the men around me to be the best men that they can be. I see in the faces of friends' little boys the future superheros they aspire to. I see men every morning on their way to work getting their coffee for the day and I see in that, the desire to work hard for their families.
What I hear though from the men around me is confusion. Confusion in what they were raised to be and the pressure that they feel from society. Something as simple as holding open a door, young men often tell me that they feel like they want to and that it is the right thing to do but that they don't want to offend. I also see young women around me who treat themselves with a lack of respect that invites men down to their level and results in poor treatment ending in a reinforced view of men as the bad guys.
I came across this story and while it inspires me and it uplifts me to know that someone has taken pro-active steps, at the same time my heart breaks that this need...one that, 40 years ago might not even have existed, is so pervasive as to require such a program.
To all those seeking to invest in the lives of young men needing mentoring.... thank you!
(If you don't get a link on Facebook... here it is http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/28/obrien.bia2.harveytown.cnn)
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Finding what you are looking for.
I have a confession to make.... I am slightly addicted to 2 dating shows. One is the Bachelorette, and the other is a new show that I have discovered..... Dating in the Dark. They are completly different in scope, in purpose and therefore in content.
Dating in the Dark is based on the question of whether people can 'fall in love' without seeing each others' faces. I use quotations because I think that it would be very difficult to truly fall in love on a reality show. On Dating in the Dark, the people meet in the dark and date in the dark, they get to know one another over a series of dates and then, following the 'big reveal' they have to choose whether or not to meet outside the house. The one twist is that they have all filled out questionnaires and have had experts match them to a specific person. There are choices throughout when they can choose who to 'date'. In the first episode, they all chose to focus primarily on the people that the experts chose, even given the opportunity to see any of the men.
It is interesting to think that the weight of an expert opinion can so greatly sway the impact of an encounter. Is it possible that we see what we are looking for? So often, when searching for someone special it is too easy to see all the reasons NOT to take a risk, to see all the flaws.... and imagine our surprise when we actually find these things....
On the other hand, The Bachelorette is all about what is perfect....until its not. Perfect settings, perfect dates, perfect men, and one imperfect girl.... sounds........... perfect! And yet, time after time, date after date, these men fail to impress, don't live up to the high expectations.
OK.. so what do we do with this? There are easy ties to dating and seeing the good in people, but what if there is a aspect to our relationship with God? I have noticed that of late, I have been having tougher time than I normally do seeing the 'good parts' of God. It is, all about what I have been choosing to see.
I suppose in this case, I am the Bachelorette, "HOPING" to find what I have it in my head that will make me happy in my relationship with God, when what I should be doing, is listening to the 'experts' who tell me how amazing God is and how He loves me! I need to use my head more to remember the truth of God, to focus on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phil 4:8
Dating in the Dark is based on the question of whether people can 'fall in love' without seeing each others' faces. I use quotations because I think that it would be very difficult to truly fall in love on a reality show. On Dating in the Dark, the people meet in the dark and date in the dark, they get to know one another over a series of dates and then, following the 'big reveal' they have to choose whether or not to meet outside the house. The one twist is that they have all filled out questionnaires and have had experts match them to a specific person. There are choices throughout when they can choose who to 'date'. In the first episode, they all chose to focus primarily on the people that the experts chose, even given the opportunity to see any of the men.
It is interesting to think that the weight of an expert opinion can so greatly sway the impact of an encounter. Is it possible that we see what we are looking for? So often, when searching for someone special it is too easy to see all the reasons NOT to take a risk, to see all the flaws.... and imagine our surprise when we actually find these things....
On the other hand, The Bachelorette is all about what is perfect....until its not. Perfect settings, perfect dates, perfect men, and one imperfect girl.... sounds........... perfect! And yet, time after time, date after date, these men fail to impress, don't live up to the high expectations.
OK.. so what do we do with this? There are easy ties to dating and seeing the good in people, but what if there is a aspect to our relationship with God? I have noticed that of late, I have been having tougher time than I normally do seeing the 'good parts' of God. It is, all about what I have been choosing to see.
I suppose in this case, I am the Bachelorette, "HOPING" to find what I have it in my head that will make me happy in my relationship with God, when what I should be doing, is listening to the 'experts' who tell me how amazing God is and how He loves me! I need to use my head more to remember the truth of God, to focus on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phil 4:8
Friday, July 17, 2009
Titles
You have, most likely heard of the idea that often the place of your greatest battle or fear is the place of greatest strength that God wants to use you. There are so many times in my life where I have dreaded looking behind the veil of that sentiment. I suppose that is the point of fear isn’t it? The enemies way of keeping us bound in exactly the areas that God has ordained for us to make the biggest impact. I have discovered as well, that sometimes things that start simply as fears, overtime can develop into a belief that we have about ourselves. I have had to face some of these beliefs lately. I have long desired to be in better shape. However, it is one of those things that you just can’t hope to have happen to you, it is something that you have to believe is possible for you and then put in the hours of work to get there. God has this interesting way of going about things!
2 years ago, somewhat suddenly, I was empowered, encouraged, and inspired to change my eating habits. Some of that journey is recorded in previous posts, and I could probably write for months abut that, it was totally God’s providential assistance that allowed me to complete that program. I have never before followed through on anything like that before. It had become a lie in my life that I wasn’t someone who could ‘stick to’ a diet or exercise regime, and in order to not feel the disappointment every time I failed, I bought into the lie that was one of those people who just couldn’t diet. Then God got a hold of me, overrode those beliefs supernaturally, and truly provided me all the tools I needed to overcome. Then I went away, to the desert in the middle of summer, I never thought I was someone who could live in the heat, but He forced my hand, and protected me. He took me places and had me experience things that were amazing.
For some of these experiences, I drew on my successes with weightloss to prove to myself that I could power through and follow through. The story of David, when he was going out to Goliath and spoke of his bear-killing history finishes with the assertion that “this will be like that”. David believed in God’s ability to deliver Goliath into his hands because there was a history. Then as time went on, and new amazing things were accomplished in God, those became the “bear” God had helped me kill!
Through all this, a call to fitness has been burning within me, only to flame out when I tried it alone. Then Ottawa Race weekend came along. Thousands and thousands and thousands of people participate! My roommate at the time, inspired me to sign up for the 5K. At the time of signing up, I was pretty sure that, if forced into it, I could walk 5km without dying, but I knew that I couldn’t run anywhere close to that distance. I was supposed to train, and practice, I had bought a treadmill that got very little use, by the time race weekend came along. As race day approached, I got more and more frustrated, annoyed and angry at myself for failing in this area once again. It was only because I made this commitment to my roommate, and she was going to be there to cheer me on (she was running a different distance) that I even went. Had she not driven me, I might have bailed.
Standing there, among thousands of people I felt like the biggest fraud. I fully expected at any moment, someone to point at me and race officials would come over and physically eject me from the race. I didn’t belong there among all those people… and it was hot…. And I didn’t have the right shoes…. And … and …..and
And then, I took a moment to list all the counter arguments for the lies that were chasing each other around my mind trying to shame me into giving in and giving up. The proofs I used were:
1) I PAID so just that entitled me to a spot at the start line
2) Hot? This isn’t hot… the dessert is Hot! I lived there, I can do this!
3) Right now, there are soldiers in Afghanistan who would LOVE to be able to opt out of the need to run 5K this afternoon, except with them, they have 80-100 pounds of gear… if they can do that, YOU can do this!
As the race started, I was still fighting all the emotions and all of the thoughts that would disqualify me from this accomplishment. As I crossed the START line I was chocking back tears, and the desire to sit and weep. Then the smiling face of my roommate appeared in the midst of the crowd, there she was cheering me on! And I started to run!
I would love to tell you that I ran like the wind, finished well, and am setting world records all over the world, but that is not really how it works, is it?
At the end of the course, everyone was given a medal, everyone! It is fun to say that I got a medal in my FIRST 5k! Only I need to know whole story!
On the way home, my roommate kept jokingly announcing to the cars around us that they needed to let us through because “she’s an athlete!” It is amazing what can happen in the spirit of someone when they buy into a ‘title change’. I had never thought of myself as athletic, and I certainly not ‘earned’ it. But I felt like, in that moment, God changed my title.
I have since joined a running club and loving getting out and running pushing myself further and seeing what I am capable of. I know that it is all about God’s provision and God working on the inside to change those titles I have given myself.
What titles have you called yourself that God wants to break off to bring you to the next level of your destiny?
2 years ago, somewhat suddenly, I was empowered, encouraged, and inspired to change my eating habits. Some of that journey is recorded in previous posts, and I could probably write for months abut that, it was totally God’s providential assistance that allowed me to complete that program. I have never before followed through on anything like that before. It had become a lie in my life that I wasn’t someone who could ‘stick to’ a diet or exercise regime, and in order to not feel the disappointment every time I failed, I bought into the lie that was one of those people who just couldn’t diet. Then God got a hold of me, overrode those beliefs supernaturally, and truly provided me all the tools I needed to overcome. Then I went away, to the desert in the middle of summer, I never thought I was someone who could live in the heat, but He forced my hand, and protected me. He took me places and had me experience things that were amazing.
For some of these experiences, I drew on my successes with weightloss to prove to myself that I could power through and follow through. The story of David, when he was going out to Goliath and spoke of his bear-killing history finishes with the assertion that “this will be like that”. David believed in God’s ability to deliver Goliath into his hands because there was a history. Then as time went on, and new amazing things were accomplished in God, those became the “bear” God had helped me kill!
Through all this, a call to fitness has been burning within me, only to flame out when I tried it alone. Then Ottawa Race weekend came along. Thousands and thousands and thousands of people participate! My roommate at the time, inspired me to sign up for the 5K. At the time of signing up, I was pretty sure that, if forced into it, I could walk 5km without dying, but I knew that I couldn’t run anywhere close to that distance. I was supposed to train, and practice, I had bought a treadmill that got very little use, by the time race weekend came along. As race day approached, I got more and more frustrated, annoyed and angry at myself for failing in this area once again. It was only because I made this commitment to my roommate, and she was going to be there to cheer me on (she was running a different distance) that I even went. Had she not driven me, I might have bailed.
Standing there, among thousands of people I felt like the biggest fraud. I fully expected at any moment, someone to point at me and race officials would come over and physically eject me from the race. I didn’t belong there among all those people… and it was hot…. And I didn’t have the right shoes…. And … and …..and
And then, I took a moment to list all the counter arguments for the lies that were chasing each other around my mind trying to shame me into giving in and giving up. The proofs I used were:
1) I PAID so just that entitled me to a spot at the start line
2) Hot? This isn’t hot… the dessert is Hot! I lived there, I can do this!
3) Right now, there are soldiers in Afghanistan who would LOVE to be able to opt out of the need to run 5K this afternoon, except with them, they have 80-100 pounds of gear… if they can do that, YOU can do this!
As the race started, I was still fighting all the emotions and all of the thoughts that would disqualify me from this accomplishment. As I crossed the START line I was chocking back tears, and the desire to sit and weep. Then the smiling face of my roommate appeared in the midst of the crowd, there she was cheering me on! And I started to run!
I would love to tell you that I ran like the wind, finished well, and am setting world records all over the world, but that is not really how it works, is it?
At the end of the course, everyone was given a medal, everyone! It is fun to say that I got a medal in my FIRST 5k! Only I need to know whole story!
On the way home, my roommate kept jokingly announcing to the cars around us that they needed to let us through because “she’s an athlete!” It is amazing what can happen in the spirit of someone when they buy into a ‘title change’. I had never thought of myself as athletic, and I certainly not ‘earned’ it. But I felt like, in that moment, God changed my title.
I have since joined a running club and loving getting out and running pushing myself further and seeing what I am capable of. I know that it is all about God’s provision and God working on the inside to change those titles I have given myself.
What titles have you called yourself that God wants to break off to bring you to the next level of your destiny?
Monday, July 06, 2009
Can it be true?
I cannot believe that one year ago today I was on a plane on my way to an incredible adventure. It is incredible to me what God is capable of bringing us through in such a short time! It is remarkable to think that no matter how I have felt, or what I wanted out of this experience, God stuck assertively to His better agenda for what needed to be accomplished in me!
I am excited for what is next.
I am excited for what is next.
Friday, July 03, 2009
From the cities to the ends of the earth!
I Love Canada, and yet more and more God is calling me to places abroad. It occurred yesterday as we celebrated Canada Day at church I was once again overwhelmed by my love for Canada. I began to wonder to myself how this love of Canada translates to leaving her boarders so often in my mind and heart. There was a whispered response.
“you can only love Canada more when you see her in relation to others around.” It is true so often that you don’t know or appreciate what you have until it is gone. You don’t appreciate the municipal water supply until you have to use bottled water to brush your teeth. The roads that get blocked with construction for so long can best be appreciated when you walk on nothing but dirt and gravel. You come to realize that there are people whose voice can never be heard, or whose face will never be seen outside their families, and you realize what a privilege it is to live here.
It is my desperate desire to serve Canada and serve God in the destiny of our nation. I feel as though my ability to serve Canada is directly proportionate to how much I love her and her people. As our amazing Arts pastor said in her amazing talk on Sunday “what moves you to compassion is the key to unlocking your destiny”.
“you can only love Canada more when you see her in relation to others around.” It is true so often that you don’t know or appreciate what you have until it is gone. You don’t appreciate the municipal water supply until you have to use bottled water to brush your teeth. The roads that get blocked with construction for so long can best be appreciated when you walk on nothing but dirt and gravel. You come to realize that there are people whose voice can never be heard, or whose face will never be seen outside their families, and you realize what a privilege it is to live here.
It is my desperate desire to serve Canada and serve God in the destiny of our nation. I feel as though my ability to serve Canada is directly proportionate to how much I love her and her people. As our amazing Arts pastor said in her amazing talk on Sunday “what moves you to compassion is the key to unlocking your destiny”.
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