Leading the Culture

I am part of a group of women who gather once a week and we share our lives together. We laugh, we cry, we share one another's joys and pains. This is a lifegroup. There are things that we DON'T do. We DON'T gossip, or back stab one another.

I have never been experienced an environment where 40+ women share their lives without judgement or competition. This is strange because as we know, oftentimes women are so hard on one another and ourselves.

I have often stopped to wonder how it is that this is possible. Is it possible that we have found 40 of only women in the world who have no desire for gossip or backstabbing? Those amazing super-Christians we have all heard about but never managed to see??

Not at all! This weekend I saw the key to setting the tone.

We went to a women's' conference. There was complete peace and joy as we travelled. We had great conversations that ran the gamut from spiritual to the fun and a little crazy. I have not laughed so much in a long time.

One of the conversations we had as a whole group, one of the ladies shared a strange perspective on a topic. I recall thinking to myself "That was Odd" , but I didn't think too much about it.


A while later, as the big group departed and it was just a few of us left, one of the women jokingly made mention of the previous comment. In that moment, there was a beat of silence, we all had a choice: to pick up the mocking and begin to gossip, but, instead, I found that we all looked to Lori, and with a subtle shake of her head she shut down the whole conversation!

We went onto something else, and nothing more was said.

I realized, this was the key to the whole environment that we have fostered in our lifegroup! We all know that our leadership will not participate in or tolerate gossip or backstabbing. I know! I've tried, but nothing is LESS fun than trying to gossip with someone who doesn't participate!

As leaders, we have the opportunity to lead the cultures that we help create. We can choose what we allow into the lives of those we lead.