There is a saying that the one trait you fall in love with someone for is likely the trait that will drive you the most crazy during your life. In this journey of seeking to fall in love with who God made me I am finding this out firsthand!
I suppose it is the same with everyone.... that drive for success and attention to detail can morph into destructive perfectionism, or the carefree adventure seeker can become a nomadic person who never buckles down and actually accomplishes anything lasting. I suspect that you all have a trait about yourself that is both an asset and a liability.
I am a big-ideas person! I love to take a small idea and develop a wide-ranging plan. I can see the pre, during, and post event or situation details that shoud not be overlooked. In my head I immediately start solving the potential roadblocks that could develop and the resources needed to overcome. I can see how a grassroots idea can become a multi-faceted national movement.
I can hear you thinking.........and this is bad... why???
Well, when this skill set is turned inward... it can create havoc.
In past years I have resolved to change my ENTIRE ife... Diet, Excercise, Devotions, Friendships, Housekeeping, Finances-you name it. I can come up with a great plan to spend less time in front of the TV and more time "taming" my flesh. Plans are made-sometime they even include stickers!- and off I go gung ho to see my life turn around.
And then I get out of bed a little late on January 2nd. Too late to take that early morning walk that I have promised myself I will take! But I am OK.... then that afternoon at work, the Chocolate Croissants call out to me at the cafe line. Suddenly with the flash of my credit card that I have resolved not to use, I buy the croissant I have resolved not to eat, and spend money that I have resolved not to spend, I am even further in an excercise deficit- remember, I skipped my morning walk! The croissant is flakey and I get chocolate on my shirt, now I have laundry piling up...... and I have once again, broken a promise to myself, God, and now my devotional time becomes what it too often does.... a time of repenting again and complaining again.
It becomes literally a domino effect. Because I tend to make sweeping multi-faceted plans, a failure in one area results in a catastrophic failure in every area and my whole plan is shot.
I realize that this is a completely overblown response, but I realize it is how I am wired.
This year, the hardest resolution that I will make is to NOT make resolutions. I want to look at this year as a marathon, not a sprint.
My deepest desire this year is to have God be my provider and guide. To stop overthinking everything and just be a Child of the King- but I am not making it my resolution!
Happy New Year
2 comments:
Amen Laura. Amen all the way!
Donna
Do you know that you totally have the potential to write a book!? You have a real gift with expressing yourself, Laura. I really think you should write a book!
But anyway :) Again, I can relate here. I make lists and personal goals...and when I fail in one, it's like a domino effect. I am an ALL or NOTHING kind of girl. If I can't do it all - change it all - then I am so overwhelmed and I just can't move. Does that make sense? Aerie is constantly encouraging me to take baby steps - make "day" goals instead of "month" goals. And that has got to be the hardest thing ever!
I want to tell you something though, Laura. It's January 2nd, and even if you have already had that chocolate croissant - that's okay - but it's never too late to get up and start again. It doesn't have to be January 1st or "Monday" or 6:00 am to begin. I am totally talking to myself here. If I fail as soon as I wake up - like say, eat that cookie or chocolate that has been staring at me since I rolled out of bed...then I feel like I have a free pass for eating anything I want for the entire day. I tell myself that I will start fresh "tomorrow"...but tomorrow never comes. There is no better time than now to start. It's hard, but I know that I can do it...and I also know that you can do it!
And I absolutely LOVE what you said here: "I want to look at this year as a marathon, not a sprint."
One step at a time.
P.S: I hate New Year's Resolutions. I think every day is the perfect day to make significant changes and goals.
Love,
Trace
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