Which trail Leads up??

How do we find the right balance?
What is God really calling us to?

I have often tried to lose weight, I have tried different methods and plans, all of them have failed because the common denominator in each of them is to remove something completely from your life and eating habits. Then there is TV. I love to watch TV, I love the stories and the characters.

In each case, what feels most 'holy' is to learn to abstain completely, the problem with this is that the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. I am a tenacious (some say stubborn) person in most areas, however, in denying myself something that I enjoy is not one of them. I have in the past always failed, and as a result always felt as though I was letting God down.

My greatest desire is not to be successful in denying myself what is not good for me but rather to train myself to desire that which is beneficial. There has to be a replacement for what is being given up. If I desired salad over chocolate, my problems would be solved!!

There are a couple of major life changes that I feel God is calling me to. I am beoming intensly aware of the amount of TV that I watch and more importantly the effect that it has on my spirit and my time. There are nights when even though I am tired, and that I have to get up in morning, I stay up to watch a program. At the end of it, I am disappointed in myself and feel as though I have let God down- again. There is a side of me that wants to be able to turn off the TV forever and chuck it out the window. That is the Pharisee in me... I say that because I know that I would then wear no TV like a badge of honour, and it would become about not watching TV and not about following the heart of God.

Which path will get me where I know God wants me to go?

There seems to be a thread of change occurring in the ladies of Life Centre... probably the men too but I am not as tapped into that... most of that life breakthrough seems to come out of fasting. I am ready to go to the next level.

I have picked up my gear and I am looking to the trail guide to point the next direction.

Have a great weekend.