What tools do you use?

I recently picked up a book called Lady In Waiting; Becoming God's best while waiting for Mr. Right. Normally, I am pretty much against books whose whole idea is about waiting around to start my life after I get married. I almost didn't buy the book but then the preface said this:

"Lady in Waiting is not about finding the right man, but being the right woman. Thus it focuses on ten qualities of a Godly woman... (Pg 11)"

That is the heart beat that I want to get across to the single ladies around me. There is always another purpose. You hear time and time again that you will find someone when you are content and not looking, or when you are least expecting it. While that is often the case, the more you get told that, the more it becomes formulaic in your mind, and you never truly get to the part about "not looking"!

I have been thinking a lot about being around men, and protecting my heart, and making sure that there are no games, or any of the craziness that comes with singleness. I have been less than successful on the past, and for a while was doing what a some single Christian women do, I began to surround myself with mainly woman. to avoid any issues with men, I spent a season simply connecting with women.

Let's be honest, when you are single, hanging out with just single women doesn't help your chances to find love! However, I also don't want to be 'seeking' out men for the sake of just knowing if they are 'him'. So what is a single girl to do?

One of the Chapters deals with Virtue. As I was reading this Chapter one thought reached out and bit me- or at least that is what it seemed like! (Pg 53) "...whatever you used to "catch" a guy, you must also use to keep him." It went on to say that if you rely solely on games, or manipulation, beauty or deceit, these are the 'tools' that you must employ to keep him long term.

As one who has absolutely 'no game', I have long bemoaned the somewhat arbitrary 'rules' for dating and for this dance that singles do..... "you can't call him tomorrow, make him wait" or "if he hasn't called by Thursday, he doesn't get to see you that weekend". I HATE these partly because I am so bad at it all, but more so because I wouldn't treat my friends that way, so why would I treat a brother in Christ that way -especially if it is someone I think I might be interested in!!!!

So I pondered the 'tools' that I wanted to employ in my singleness to 'attract' the man that God has for me. Please don't misunderstand, I am not out preening and on display looking to 'catch' the man of my dreams, rather, I want to practice the qualities in my life that will be the things God's choice for me will be interested in. Everyone else need not apply. I don't have to worry that my intellect will turn of some guys because it won't turn off the guy!

So here's is what I have determined I will purposefully stock my 'toolbox with':

• Joy
• Kindness
• Generosity
• Openness
• Encouragement
• Hospitality
• Honesty
• Humour
• Gentleness
• Discretion
• Godliness
• Prayer
• Worship
• Integrity
• Authenticity
• Empathy and
• Honour

The good news is that employing these tools in my life makes me a better person no matter my status. I can put these to 'work' building the kingdom of God, and seeking God with all my heart. That way, I will be fruitful no matter what.... what a way to WAIT!!!