Preparation Time Part 3

.... continued from Part 2

I sat. I waited and just ‘was’. There were questions, from those around me-from concerned parents who worried as time went on. I didn’t know what God was up to, but I knew that He was in control. Occasionally God would take the time to remind me that I was in a 52 week process.

In December, one night, I couldn’t sleep, I was just lying awake ‘processing’. This is the term that I use when I am going over and over all the loose ends in my head, attempting to look at them from different angles to see where they might fit together, or where God might be leading.

I began to realize that what I really wanted to do was to go back to school. I didn’t know how that was going to happen, or when, but it became my focus to find a way. A number of options were weighed and discarded. Finally, the I had an idea. It fit with all the objectives I had set out, it made sense, it was multi-purposed, and it was JUST enough beyond my ability that I would have to rely completely on God! As time went on, I began to do the background research to find out what was going to be possible and what was not.

January came along, and we began the series in our lifegroup "Now discover your strengths". Everything that I had been working through I KNOW that I KNOW was needed to set the stage for “trombone player wanted”. The breakthrough moment of this series was when Marcus said that ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR STRENGTHS ARE.

All my life, I have allowed people to speak into my life and have defined my actions with what they said. I have on a couple of different occasions, wanted to change my career, hand I did what all the self-help books said to do…. I asked people who are successful what they saw when they looked at me. Then I chased after that identity, only to be devastated when it didn’t quite fit.

The week of my birthday (January 20th), I was working to define the plan a little more clearly. Using the concepts that we were learning at lifegroup, I spent a long time thinking and praying about what my strengths are, and gradually, it all came into clear focus. By the time the 52nd week came along, I had changed, I don’t mean that I was beginning a plan of changes,…. I HAVE changed.

I can only imagine that Esther could barely recognize herself when she looked in the mirror, I can see her stepping out in a function of royalty only to think to herself “how is it that I am doing this?” I feel that way occasionally….. I find myself doing things I never thought I would…. And LOVING it.