It's Decision Time

I have some decisions to make. They are career related and time sensitive. This has brought me to another level of 'messy living'. It is tough to weigh all the pros and cons of a decision, then put if through the filter of mortgage payments, church commitments and roots, as well as family pulls, and friendships. Then to top it all off... there is that pesky thing called God's will.

Although I put God's will last on the list, it actually takes complete precedence in my decision-making. It doesn't matter what else is going on, if God says "NO" than the answer is NO!
What happens though, when there seems to be no direct instruction???
Last week at lifegroup, we watched a video in the series called "Trombone Player Wanted" and there was a life-changing idea put forth. The idea that I am the person who is best qualified to know my own strengths. WOW.... I have been looking for the input from others to learn what my strengths are. But this moment in time freed me to begin to define what my strengths are. It empowered me to begin to own who I am.
We are kind of afraid in Christianity of the word "empowered". I think especially as women any strong language about power and self smacks of rebellion and a lack of meekness.

I have begun to realize that God has given me the responsibility to be able to confidently stand in a moment and to say 'that is not my strength'. Jesus gently rebuked his mother when she was pressuring him to do something about the lack of wine at the wedding feast- he said it was not his time. There was no apology and no justification. As you know, in that moment though, there was also compassion and he instructed the servants to fill the canteens with water and when they were poured out, they were of the best wine.

So what do you do when there are open doors but no direct instructions?

In the Old Testament God often gave the Israelites specific instructions regarding what they were to do to overcome their enemies. Other times though, he told them to do what was in their hearts to do.

I think that when your heart is in communication with God, and your life is surrendered, there are moments when He allows us to make decisions that seem right to us. I never want to be out of the will of God, yet sometimes it seems like the heavens are silent. I know that God is always speaking, yet there are no specifics. In these moments, I try to make the wisest choice I can, and then begin to step through the open door of my choosing. Always with one ear cocked toward heaven to hear new instructions. There can be a tendancy, in our lives to do nothing unless we hear otherwise. I have been in that season. I know that it was what God was calling me to for that time. I have learned so much about waiting on God, about trusting Him and knowing that He has the path already set up.

It is however, scary to begin to step out into something new. I have been praying a slightly different prayer of late it is "OK Jesus, I know that is you walking on the waves... everything within me yearns to get out of the boat and walk with you, so unless you tell me not to, I am coming."

There is an echo of the enemy who would try and tell me that is rebellious, and that no instruction is a passive instruction..... but guess what! I have to take ownership of my walk. It is fully surrendered, yet I am the steward of what God has called me to do. If I am not moving forward, I am not in obedience.

I have to trust that my heart is open to His leading and guiding and that He knows me well enough to communicate with me any changes in the game plan.

I will take the next step that God is calling me to......