They say that anger is a secondary emotion. No one really is angry because they are angry. People get angry as a bi-product of another emotion.
Have you ever gotten angry at someone who cut you off? Been mad at your spouse for making you worried because they were late and didn't call? Lashed out at a friend because they embarrassed you?
Over the last few weeks, I have been sick with bronchitis and laryngitis. I have spent many hours waiting in doctor's offices because I am the unfortunate client of a poorly run medical clinic... don't even get me started.
Today required another trip to the same clinic for the results of a bloodtest. My doctor told me if all was well, there would be no phone call. Sure enough there was a phone call. Immediately I ran through all of the possibilities of what that could mean. As is often the case, what is unknown is far scarier than the reality. I began to think of some of the worst-case scenarios I have known: the friend who went to the doctor thinking he had the flu and ended up fighting for his life following chemotherapy, or my grandmother who after an extended period was still having problems with nosebleeds, passed away 7 months later from Cancer.
Since my "clinic" doesn't book appointments- you REALLY don't want to get me started - I spent 1 hour waiting for the possibility of a 5 minute conversation with a doctor to tell me what the problem was, but I had to leave because I had go to work.
Once again frustrated and without answers I got MAD. When I got back to my car I slammed the door and vented my frustration. The level of my anger higher than the situation merited, however, as I drove "assertively" back to work, I wondered why my response was so strong. It didn't make any sense.
I took a deep breath and realized that if I was really honest with myself, that I would admit to being scared more than anything else.
It was another lesson for me as God expands my understanding of who I am in Him.
Sorry to leave you hanging, but I still haven't recieved the results!
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3 comments:
Dearest Laura:
I hear what you are saying. When my husband or children do something that I think is. bad for them or dangerous I react with anger unless I can keep myself under control. I am not angry with them at all. I am scared and fearful when I think they are in danger. I know as I learn to trust God at deeper and deeper levels it will be much easier for me to stay with the real issue and not have to wade through the anger first. I am looking forward to that happening most of the time insted of once and a while.
I pray your results will turn out well in Jesus' name. I know it will all work out OK so hang in there girl.
Peace and blessings I pray to you in Jesus' name:
Donna
Hey Laura,
I don't think there is anyone(if they are honest) who has not gotten angry at some point. I have had numerous times where I have lashed out at people(usually the ones I love most) and than after a few minutes I look back and wonder why I reacted the way I did.
These are the days, the moments where I realize how far I am from perfection! ha ha And how much I need to depend on HIM, to change me. Thanks for your honesty Laura!!!
Carrie
Have you found out about your results yet?
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