Full House, Happy House

Last night I had the amazing privilege of being someone's "soft place to fall". A good friend was having difficulty with a couple of situations and chose to entrust me with her questions and concerns. After chatting for a long while, she did something that blessed me more than I can say..... she asked if I minded if she crashed on my couch!!

It has always been my heart to have a home where people feel safe, loved, and completely at ease. That she even asked was indication that I have been successful in that area. We got her all settled on the couch, and arranged the morning bathroom logistics with the roommates. This morning though, there was a different feel to the house. As I got up and got ready, the house felt full of people, not full like tripping all over each other, but just warm full, like you feel after a great dinner with fantastic people. It felt like all was well with the world!! I imagine that is what moms feel when their adult kids are back for a visit.

I am so grateful that inspite of my singleness, that God allows me to flex my maternal muscles and feel the fulfillment that comes from investing in others. It has reminded me that so often we limit God in how we think that He will accomplish what He wants to accomplish in our lives.

There is a deep desire at the core of my being to be a wife and mother, that has never changed. I spent a long time feeling like I was being shortchanged by God. I felt like He was being cruel for making me this way, with the desire for kids and a husband, yet without the husband, no kids, no legacy, no fulfillment, no using my core giftings. In my mind, this meant that I was condemned to an unfulfilled life. I am sure that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. Felt like their dreams and life's passion hinges on an event or position or situation that they have no input into changing.

But think of that... we ARE talking about God here. He is not cruel, not capricious, nor is He a puppeteer who seeks to mess with our heads and hearts. A good friend asked me a hard but good question, he asked me if perhaps my desire for kids and a husband was actually a desire to invest in and love people. He suggested that perhaps this picture that I had created in my mind about what the fulfillment of my dreams would look like was just my finite mind trying to find a way to paint a picture. He dared to suggest that if I never got married or had kids that I COULD still fulfill the deepest longings of my heart to see my life have impact.

My soul struggled to admit that what he was saying was true as my mind tried desperately to find a loophole in this suggestion that would still guarantee me a wedding!!! It took a moment to quiet the shouting voice in my head that was hanging onto my good dream to realize that perhaps he was right, that God has a Best dream for me.

From that time to today, I have sought to intentionally fulfill the calling of God on my life... to invest and make a difference in people's lives. It is amazing that the more loveI give and the more I invest in others, the more I have to give- AND I get to see my dreams fulfilled in the process.

Does this mean I will never get married? I HOPE NOT!!! I HOPE THAT it comes soon, but I no longer am left to wait with my dreams on hold.

THIS is the abundant life Jesus talks about when He says " I have come to give you Life, and Life more abundantly..... "

If there are dreams in your life that feel conditional on external forces that you have no control of, I encourage you.... take a step back and find the deeper calling, maybe you will be surprised that the answer to your prayers is closer than you thought.