As Christians we often feel the weight of the higher standards that God holds us to. You all know what I mean! Turning the other cheek, making the first move when asking for forgiveness.
If I unintentionally hurt someone's feelings, I feel so bad FOR DAYS.
If I underachieve at work, guilt and questions come to mind about what witness I am leaving with those around me.
I know that God is not that way, that He is slow to anger and he calls us higher for our own good.
There are a couple of natural examples of what I mean. I am looking to adopt a dog. Thousands of people who work full time have perfectly happy and healthy dogs, however EVERY time I talk to the Shelters about my life, I am not a good match for the dog because I work full time and live in a townhouse. Are you kidding me???? These are dogs whose owners have abandoned, abused, neglected them and I am not a good option for a dog owner????
I am also looking to "adopt" a husband! :-) I have often had conversations with people about a specific man I am interested in, and almost without execption eventually it comes to "you are probably physically not what he is looking for" meaning those extra pounds of fellowship and comfort sitting around my hips and waist make me unsuitable!
Now let's get real... although handsome in their own right, NONE of these men that I have been interested in would even be a LONG SHOT to appear on the cover of GQ magazine. WHO are THEY??? It is so frustrating that with all of the other great things about me- things I have worked hard to develop in my life, THIS one item that we are all supposed to be looking beyond, is the ONE reason that disqualifies me somehow. I hear others around me who are mean to their men, or disrespectful and I wonder why do they get to be imperfect and still get married but I can't?
At work it is the same thing. I will be qualified for a job in every area but one small detail, a detail that would be no issue to learn, but somehow THAT is what makes the difference, even though I know that the person who got the job has an issue with integrity.
I am so tired of feeling like any dog or man would have made a concession to be in my life. (I am actually not equating the two of them, I am just dealing with the 2 issues at the same time!) I am frustrated with coming up just a little short it seems all the time- mostly I am frustrated because it seems like the standards for me are higher than for everyone around me.
It is difficult to remember in those moments that God is sovereign and that He has a plan and a purpose, that there is a great dog, man, job for me!! I know that especially with the man, that God is crafting one especially for me and is crafting me for that special one. I know that when the moment is right, God will cause our hearts to be captured with one another and it truly won't matter what either of us looks like!!!
And life gets a little messy!
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8 comments:
Dearest Laura:
Goodness gracious me precious girl, you are so lovely and beautiful! YOU are not your size girly girl!(I know you already know this-but my spirit is drawn to remind and support you in who you really are right NOW)
I have found being married or different sizes or finding that right dog or whatever... does not change any of the thoughts that are hurting me and blinding me and our world to the true blossom (relating to Lori's blog) that I am so blinded to see and LET BLOOM. It reminds me of one of my children, when they are upset or feeling seperated and I know what they need most is to have a warm hug or loving word to remind them who they really are and what they are intricately an important precious and valued part of and they push me away or plug their ears and yell "I can't hear you" I struggle with that very concept in so very many areas of my life still-Lord Jesus I know You have already set me free but I guess I need the brick to get it through--I know God, I am the one hitting myself with the brick right and you have cushioned it with angels feathers-Thank You.
Anyways, you do measure up. God has a precious and perfect plan for your life Laura and although you may not see it right now and that can be hard when you are going through it I look forward to seeing your life blossom and I am sure people who know you better than myself will celebrate to see the lovely flower in God's garden of life that you are!!
Peace and blessings I pray to you in Jesus' mighty name:
Donna
Can I suggest looking into a retired racing greyhound? They are amazing noble animals and most are perfect for people who work because they can sleep up to twenty hours a day (you will still get the happy dance when you come home)! There is also the compassionate angle - they really need homes as too many are killed each year once their racing careers are over! Yes, they can be big, but that just means more to hug (really). They think they are lap dogs and great for living in apartments. There is also the myth that they need lots of excercise (and room to run)- they are happy with two quick pee walks a day, they can't wait to get back to the couch (it is also good for you if you have access to a yard).
We were lucky enough to have one for a year in Calgary. He was such a lovely, goofy guy.
Anyway, there are a few books on adopting a grey. We checked out Retired Racers for Dummies from the library and answered a lot of our questions. I am sure there are a few adoption groups in Ottawa.
Here is an article: http://www.adopt-a-greyhound.com/hot/pg4.htm
Ok Laura, thats my tip about getting a dog. I can send you pics of Alonso and explain more by e-mail if you would like. I wouldn't hesitate to adopt one, or three, in a second if I had the chance again.
I love how you think, I love how you write, and I love WHO YOU ARE. Keep it coming lady!
Leah
Hey Laura,
I love your honesty! It is so amazing to read a blog about how we really feel about injustices and how we are made to feel when things are said about us or we've been denied something. I have felt the same way with regards to other things and wonder.."why God?". Only He knows and someday, He will let us know why. In the meantime, know that as you follow Him, He will guide you with the right dog and the right man. Know that He doesn't want you to settle for anything less than what He has for you.
Love,
Carrie
Laura - I miss you and I love the way you speak what is one your mind. None of the old "hide behind the mask" stuff for you - you ARE amazing. I've struggled with a lot of the same questions and work to maintain my peace and the knowledge that God DOES know what He's doing...sometimes I just wish He'd hurry it up already! Bless you, my friend.
TERRY!!!
I miss you too!
Please send me your email. I am at laura_coxworth@rogers.com
Laura,
You're obviously talking to the wrong people. A heart filled with love and a desire to care for someone and/or something else is what makes us good wives, friends or pet owners. You are beautiful and you have a beautiful spirit (of course). One little piece of advice for the dog and husband - stop looking. God knows exactly what you want and what you need in both departments and He has the perfect ones in mind. He will direct you and send you confirmation. You'll be a great pet-owner, a wonderful mother and a godly wife.
Hey Laura,
First of all, thanks for letting the girls stay over saturday night, i hope that we weren't any trouble!
Second of all, i have a few extra pounds too, but that shouldn't have anything to do with who i date or marry. You've probably heard this a million times, but its really true: you should only settle for someone who loves you for being you, not for your appearence. I know its really hard, cause most people are shallow, but the right guy will soon come around...
As for the dog, take mine! hahaha my puppy is insane! well, the humane society always says things like that, no one's ever suitable enough to own a dog according to them. But if you see one you really like, get it and just fib on the application form! or take Lindsay's advice, greyhounds are the most amazing dogs, and there's always a lot that need to be rescued!
ps my blog is storyofstephslife.blogspot.com, and i let my friend know about your pay it forward, he said that anything you need info on he can provide it!
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