Jehovah Jireh- My provider

God is so amazing. He is never late.



As you know, I am single, and currently unemployed. For a homeowner, that is a scary situation to be in. In the middle of this season, I have heard God's voice over and over saying.... "Do you trust me?" . The answer in my heart is "Yes, LORD!", but the answer in my head has ranged from "yes, Lord!" to "I think so" to "I am scared to, help me" and finally "God helps those who help themselves!"



This range of emotion and spectrum of faith is completely normal. I am a doer, I like to plan, and I have the ability to make things happen. I could go out tomorrow and replace the lost income, and maybe make a little more money even. The problem though, is that in doing so, I would be doing what I did before, so I would get what I had before!! This whole process is not about getting back to the same level, but to grow. Because of my ability to get things going and network and find a job, I have never truly HAD to rely on God when the chips were down and the ribber hit the road.. there was always a contingency plan.



Let me say this, I know that God calls us to be good stewards of our time and talents and treasure. I also know that there are times when God calls us to do what doesn't make sense from the world's perspective. I totally get that there are people who would be shocked to hear that I hadn't even really applied for any jobs even though it has been a month since I worked.



BUT God... this is what it comes down to. EVERYTIME I step out to make something happen, I feel a restraining, partnered with amazing peace, and the whispered voice saying "Let ME"!



For some people, they have felt very pursued and loved by God and others, and it is easy to trust in God. I am realizing that because of my personality, I have never sat back long enough to be pursued by ANYONE, not a guy, not God, no one. But now is the time.



I feel like this is my chance to learn that not only is God ABLE to provide ALL my needs.... more importantly He is WILLING. It is a risk that we all take as Christians, not just to believe IN God and His word... but to BELIEVE God.



So often, we truly believe that God is able, but we don't wait to show His Willingness until there is nothing left of ourselves. We see it around the world, faith levels are higher, because there is NOTHING that they can do to find a way to get food without a miracle, they have no choice but to wait on God. I want to be in a position to get to the end of myself, because in my weakness, He is strong...... and good, and kind, and generous, and loving.



God's mesage to me and through my life is His faithfulness. He is faithful to me in everything that I need and many things that I have 'wanted'. My biggest financial need is for the mortgage on my home. If the mortgage is covered, almost everything else can expand or contract to meet the available funds. I have 2 rooms that I rent out and between the 2 rooms the mortgage and taxes are fully covered. I have had these rooms for rent for 1.5 years, in all that time, there have only been 4 months where both are occupied... I have been reminding the Lord, that He could provide a roommate at some point. Here is the cool part... for September, God has provided a 2nd roommate who will sign a lease for the school year!. This GUARANTEES the mortgage will get paid! How cool is that???



Then today in the mail, I got a cheque for GST rebate... I have not recieved a rebate in about 2.5 years! You cannot tell me that this is a coincidence that it came today!



In these things, little clues are being left to remind me that God is truly able but more importantly WILLING to provide for me. It is a stretch, and my faith is growing, but we are getting there! Praise the Lord!