Ice Cream, Test Drives and the Waiting Game

Today at work I was approached by a young lady who is in the beginning stages of a relationship, she often asks my opinion about different things and I try to give her the best advice I have . Today, the question was "how long into this relationship should I wait until...."

I told her that she didn't even need me to answer that question, but that she already knew where I stood on the subject of sex, and what I had to say she didn't want to hear.

Her response was typical of non-christians everywhere: "That ship has sailed, there is no point waiting now" and then very predictably, she suggested to me that not 'test-driving the car', can result in a life of misery-which of course in her mind equals bad sex!

If I had a dollar for every time a conversation about waiting evolved into a metaphor including either test driving cars, or flavours of ice cream, I truly would be a very rich woman!

I assured this young lady that my future sex life was in the very capable hands of a loving God who knows exactly what is best for me.. my exact words were " I know the designer and the manufacturer, He is a very good friend, and I won’t buy a “car” that He doesn’t recommend. I am wayyy more confident in His ability and expertise than I am in my own!!" She responded with the "that is nice that you have strong faith... but" response that I have often heard.

For the record, the subject of pre-marital sex is a closed subject, it is a non-negotiable command of God.

Still.....

Do I wish that the standard wasn't so high? Yes

Do I wish that the wait wasn't so long? Absolutely!

Do I sometimes think that the whole 'test driving' argument holds some logic? Sometimes

When you take the issue of purity out of the context of your whole life of worship before God and merely look at it in general terms of biology and physical exertion, waiting makes ALMOST no sense. Why would it?

On the other hand, there are a lot of things that God asks us to do that don't make sense: Love your enemies; bless those who curse you; die to live; give Me 10% right off the top; all these are commands of God that people sometimes struggle with but still strive to achieve. Why would purity be any different?

As I pondered this question and tried to find persuasive words that would accurately capture my choice so that she would stop looking at me like a child who 'just doesn't get it', a thought occured to me......

I wonder if anyone regretted waiting.

I have heard the tearful stories of couples who didn't wait. The heartbreak of a young person who jumped into sex too quickly and now has to live with the disease, or the baby, or just even the memory that they can never quite erase. As well, I have heard the testimony of people who have not waited, then decided later to course-correct and their relationship survived-or didn't- as a result. Never, though, have I heard "I wish I had taken the test drive!" It could be that there is a feeling among Christian adults that it is hard enough to convince the younger generation to wait that we don't even want to give any ammunition to the enemy who is trying his best to get them to buy into the lies he is perpetrating.

It would be interesting to hear from anyone who does regret waiting. I am not looking for excuses, or evidence that I shouldn't, rather, I am interested in people's journey.