The time has come. The Lord has called me out of where I was into something new. He has been speaking to me for a few months about changes that need to be made in my life. A new career path was looming. It was very fun to think about all the opportunities and dream from the safety of a regular paycheque and dental benefits. Like so many of the things that God calls us to there was a seeming recklessness about dreaming of leaving behind the confines of a green cubicle and stepping out into the unknown. I wanted to… I really really really did! BUT
As a single person with a Mortgage and a car, the actual stepping out in faith was proving to be more difficult. How could I reasonably justify leaving a job with dental and RRSP matching to go out into the unknown? It was too big for my faith, or so I thought. Everything within me wanted to risk it and take God at His word that whatever He was calling me to would succeed and that He would not put me to Shame. Really, the thoughts that were holding me back were: What if I fall on my face and lose my house? And: What if I fail at this? What if bridges get burned despite my best effort and I cannot go back?
It is always fear that holds us back.
Two scriptures seemed to torment me day and night. The first was the Story of Abram, before he becomes Abraham. The lands were overcrowded because of the size of the flocks that were living there, and so God called Abram (Gen 12:1) to pick up his tents and move. I recall that God didn’t tell them where they were going to end up, just that God was going to show them the land. This came with the promise “I will make you a great nation”. The other was the story of Peter walking on water. Everything within me WANTED to step out of boat. I want to be able to brag on the faithfulness of God. I want to be one of those Christians who inspire others with a “well if she can, so can I” and see others step out of the boat to win the victory.
It was a classic case of being willing to be willing to take God at His word… always with a contingency plan though!
I suppose that the Lord got tired of hearing me complain about where I was, and justifying the reasons that I couldn’t move from that place so guess what? I was safe in the boat, so the boat sunk around me. I am no longer employed! There is nothing to be said for that except the circumstances are so strange that it is clear that God took me out of that place I was too chicken to leave on my own. The storm was seeking to overwhelm me, and now, I have no choice but to believe God when He says that He will provide. I am out of options. I am just glad that I packed my lifejacket-the Word of God!
Exciting times….
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Laura, my beautiful friend, you are one of those women that inspire others to say, "well if she can so can I". You don't know what an inspiration you've been to me. You're so full of life. It's inspiring just to listen to you being vulnerable about how difficult it was to get out of the boat. It doesn't matter how long it took you. The fact is that when faced with the circumstances God used to help you learn to focus on Him - you focus on Him and not yourself. I'm so proud to know you and be called your friend. Love You.
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