Floundering....

So here I am, in the water, just having been kicked out of the safety of “My Boat” . When I say My Boat, I mean all those things that I have built my security on: abilities, resources, friends, and history or success. God was calling me out of the boat to walk on the water, and the security of my boat made that first step very difficult! God sunk my boat. He took away the source of my financial security-my job.

In those initial moments after the boat sank, I knew that I knew that I knew that God had allowed this in my life, so it was His job to make it OK, my job was just to listen. If you recall, I went White Water Rafting a few weeks ago. It seems like it was a metaphor for what I am going through now.

Before I jumped in the water, we got all the instruction we needed to be safe including the biggest piece of information…. If you get into any trouble, look to the shore, the guides will be there yelling instructions to you, or to throw a rope if you need it. As I got caught up in the waves and things were getting scary, not only did the waves feel about 100 feet taller than they had from the shore, but there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. I had to consciously remind myself that I had seen the end, there were just 2 more waves, and remind myself to breathe. When fear threatened to overtake me, I felt like I was going to drown, and be lost to the river. I lost all perspective and could have allowed myself to give up, but then a voice yelled at me, and I was reminded of all I had been taught and did what it took to get out of a dangerous situation safely- all I needed to do was to follow the instructions I was given.

I feel the same way with God in this situation. I am in way over my head, but there is One who is able and strong enough and has enough experience to get me safely to ‘shore’. My only job is to listen. Listen to the voice of God calling to me, listen and obey!