An Undivided Heart

"Above all else, guard your Heart, for it is the Wellspring of Life" Prov 4:23

I always thought that this meant that when you meet someone who piques your interest, to be cautious so that youdon't get hurt. I was WRONG.

Recently, I have begun to see a MAJOR dream of my life beginning to reveal itself in my life. I am totally excited.... and a LOT scared.... not scared in an 'I'm afraid of the dark' kind of way, but rather in the "Whoa, this is big, and fragile, and.... distracting me!" kind of way.

In recent months I have found a deeper relationship with God than I have ever experienced before, there is more strength, trust and intimacy. I am loving it. Now suddenly I am lying in bed unable to sleep at night because of the beginnings of this dream come true! Tonight, as I was pondering recent developments, I prayed AGAIN that God would be at the centre, and that He would work all the details and the timing in a way that will build a solid foundation. I was ONCE again doing what I had always been taught, return it to God and He will bless it.

Then something hit me.... my prayer life in the last few weeks has been almost exclusively regarding this subject. I have had many long conversations with God, and little short moments as I needed to stay focused on the task at hand. That is not the problem, it is the exclusivity, one topic that is the problem.

There is so much going on the world and in the worlds of my firends and loved ones and ALL I can focus on is this situation! I had momentarily lost the "undivided heart" that is spoken of in 1 Corinthians 7:32a. It is this undivided heart that has been the message of my life for the last 5 years. I have sought to put Christ in the centre place... and now here was a precious dream... pulling me in a second direction.

There is an album that I just picked up by Tim Hughes called "Holding Nothing Back", one of the songs talks about Jesus being EVERYTHING.... I began to weep as I realized what people had been telling me all along, my singleness is a GIFT from God because of the freedom that it has allowed me to be undivided of heart.

I know that there is room within my Christ-centred undivided heart for all the dreams that God has planted in my Heart. They are His idea too, and so there must be provision for them, but even the DEEPEST desires of my heart MUST give way to my relationship with God- even if it could mean giving them up.

You know what is cool though? God has moved me from a place of 'having' to give them up to 'WANTING' -truly desperately wanting- to give up whatever could possibly distract me from His purpose.

"Look what God can do" - Jennifer Hudson