Every time.... I will hold your hand

There are things in our lives as Christians that take on the dubious status of "thorn in the flesh". If you recall Paul suffered with an affliction that he knew was from the Lord so that he would be limited just enough that he had no choice but to rely on God.

I have a situation that is self-inflicted, but afflicting none the less. It is an ongoing issue, I know that you have something like that too! How do I know?? Because you are a red-blooded human with a pulse! It is that one thing that I feel like should be dealt with. I want equally to eradicate it from my life and hold onto it for the small payoff that it brings. More than that, I want to WANT to have it gone, but can't seem to be able to.

It is important to say that, at it's core, is not an issue of sin. It could more accurately be said that it is an issue of trust in God. In my mind it occupies too much time and energy and I feel like I talk about it too much as well. Everytime it comes up in conversation, I feel like the people sitting with me chatting MUST be rolling their eyes inside and thinking "aren't we done with this YET?" During a dinner with a friend who could be considered one of the best friends anyone on earth has or ever has had (no exaggeration!) we hashed out some stuff surrounding this issue and I was trying to close the subject because I was ashamed to still be dealing with it after all this time.

Last Thanksgiving, this friend said that she hoped (for the sake of my stress level) not to have to be talking about it at Christmas. But that if we were, there was a comfy chair and a hot beverage with my name on it. So that was Christmas, we are now PAST Easter, and it is still occupying my life!

In her wisdom and grace this week, she reminded me that God knows the solution to this and that perhaps I wasn't communicating with God-the one who knows the answers. Then she said something that penetrated to my deepest heart. It was one of those "kindest things ever" statements. She said something to the effect of: I want this to be resolved in your life to avoid the stress and heartache, but if you need to talk about it everyday I will hold your hand through it.... EVERYTIME.

It was one of those moments that I knew that I knew, I have a friend who truly sticks closer than a brother. In this world of instant answers and 12-step programs, my friend met a need in my life to just BE THERE despite giving me advice that potentially could resolve this forever. She is willing to patiently stand by holding my hand through the hurt until such time as God ordains that surgery is needed to take this thorn out of my side. Then, I know she will pick me up, brush me off and celebrate the victory without so much as a single "I told you so!"

What a friend!!