What else do I need to know??

As a single woman and first-time homeowner the question "what else do I need to know?" has become my most valuable asset. Anytime I am dealing with a subject I am not familliar with , when I realize that I don't know what I don't know, that is the question that I ask. It is my hope that in asking this question that the person who knows more than I do will give me the information that I need.

Life is complex, we need to have knowledge about natural-gas delivery & billing options, and have a master's degree in deciphering shady cellphone bills!It feels like the whole world is a minefield requiring expertise in more areas than any one person could ever master! It's a "buyer beware"- the customer ISN'T always right- world that can be so intimidating to navigate that the natural response is to take a "head in the sand" approach. Sometimes I think that I am going to lose my mind if I have to deal with one more automated voice system!!!

There are occasions where I also want to scream at God and ask :

What else do I need to know??

Will another friend miscarry a child? Will one of my parents die suddenly? Will someone I love? Will I ever see the fulfillment on my most earnest hopes and dreams? As we both know, it never is quite that Simple! There will always be trajedy, pain, "surprises" and cell phone bills. Would it really be better to know? Would I really want to know if I am to stay single forever? Would I really like to know the road ahead?





I have been so moved this week by the events of the Amish School shooting. If they had asked of God one week ago, "what else do I need to know?" -would they have wanted the answer? Would their faith have sustained them?




It is tragic and horrific and I don't know how anyone can survive the attack of young girls - the next generation of mothers and wives. In all of the responses that I have seen they are seeking the comfort in the presence of one another. They are leaning on God and the strength of their faith. There is a peace that surrounds members of the Amish Community, you can see from all the pictures, even before this happened that there is a sense of Belonging, one that goes beyond just the clothes.

One of the biggest challenges as a Christian Single tends to be the feeling of being alone in a crowd. Not knowing sometimes where to turn to get accurate and reliable advice. I almost envy them their quiet lives, living in simplicity and FAITH. Not sharing core values with those I spend all day with means that even the WAY I make decisions is different than everyone around me! So I work to remind myself that GOD is enough!

I often question God and complain that I don't know what is to come. Perhaps though, the kindest thing God can do for us is to NOT answer that question!

The Gift must pale in comparison to the giver…

What is it about gifts? They carry so much impact. We beg for them from God, we hope for them on our birthdays and expect them at Christmastime.

Gifts are a huge part of our lives, they are a delicate thing- and are dependant on so many factors. We think that the gift is what is wrapped in beautiful paper and accompanied by a card-which of course has to be read first- when in fact the actual gift is the heart behind the thought.

The saying that “it’s the thought that counts” should actually read “ it is the heart behind the thought that counts”. It is our desire to be KNOWN. When someone knows you well enough to give you a great-thoughtful gift, it reinforces the value of you as a person and signifies the return on an investment that you have made in someone’s life.

A few years ago, a friend of mine was tight financially, and sought to give the most amazing gifts she could hand-make or buy at the dollar store. Having come from a family where the price of the gift was almost more important than the gift itself, it took me a while to understand the full extent of the significance of these dollar store gifts that I was receiving. However, knowing the tight financial spot that this dear friend was in, I would put on a happy face and say my thank-yous in the way that we all have learned from very young having had to deal with grandparent’s gifts that were just a little out of touch! But then one day, out of the blue, this friend mentioned that she was compiling a list of all the things she would buy me if she could. Knowing what a generous and kind-hearted person she is, this piqued my interest. Curious, I asked “Oh yeah, what would you buy me if you could?” She thought for a moment…. Then listed off about 10 things that while not expensive or extravagant, were proof that my friend had taken the time to hear my heart and to take note of the details of my life. In that moment, she gave me the best gift one friend could give another….. to be known.

After 25 years of wishing for tenderness and getting shiny gifts, of hoping for my father’s time and attention, and getting the latest gadget, after too many Christmases and birthdays full of hopes destroyed, I realized that it didn’t matter what was in the box. THIS was what I had been hoping for!! That year, what I wanted more than anything from this friend, was another list of “If I had a million dollars” gifts.

It has been a life lesson to know that the heart behind the gift is much more important than the gift itself. A gift is a poor substitute for relationship.

It MUST be the same way in our lives with God. I know that He loves to give good gifts to his children, and we are so blessed by Him.

Kids are so much smarter than we are! Every parent around me-and there are many- has at one time or another bemoaned the fact that their child is much more interested in the box the gift came in than the gift itself. It doesn’t matter that the gift that was inside was the last on the shelf and you had to kick an old lady to get it! They just want to play in the box.

It breaks my heart though to think I would allow a gift from God to distract me from His love and heart. I want so much to be the type of person who can receive the gifts of God and thank Him and then set aside that gift and take the time to gaze into His eyes, to lean against His shoulder and draw life from the place of being Known by Him.

Oh GOD, that your gifts would always pale in comparison to who you are and that my heart and my eyes would not be dazzled and distracted by the trappings and glitter. Capture my heart with the truth of who you are that you know me and you know what I want and need even more than I do.

Journeys

It is funny that we refer to our day to day walk with God as a journey. It almost seems a little mundane for what a relationship with God is alll about. Or is it?

Often we set out on a course towards a specific destination, then when we get lost or misdirected the word "journey" gets pulled out. "What is more important, the journey, or the destination?" we ask each other and ourselves as a mechanism for not losing our cool in a frustrating situation. A "journey" happens when things take longer than anticipated, or don't quite work out the way we thought it would.

Dictionary.com defines JOURNEY as:
a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time

and

passage or progress from one stage to another


Isn't that EXACTLY what a lfe with Christ is all about?

Depending on where our journey has taken us, we can grit our teeth and talk about the "journey" and intend it the first way, or we smile and rejoice in the progress we are making.

Recently, I have been on the "Grit-my-teeth-usually-taking-a-rather-long-time-hijacked agenda" type of journey recently. One that requires an intentional decision to mark my progress.

Just the fact that I can sit back and even identify that this is part of the journey, I think is evidence of progress!

I recently earned the "coolest aunt ever" award when I fished a go-cart out of a dumpster, cleaned it up, gave it new paint job, replaced the steering wheel, and presented it to my 3 year-old Nephew! As I presented it to him, I let his father know that I still had some leftover paint so that if they wanted to they could touch it up when there were scratches and dents. The dad's response was amazing, and showed me that he treasure

d his son. He said "No WAY! Now that there is a fresh coat of paint on it, every new scratch has a story! Who would want to cover that up??"

Admit it.. you wanna hear THIS story!

It made me think that so often I am desperate to cover my war wounds, to hide my flaws, when really I should take the opportunity to share those stories that are part of the journey. Whether that journey is "progress" or "taking longer than

expected", these are milestones on the journey of our "Messy Lives"