Building Bridges

It is amazing how quickly someone can move from "someone you know" to "friend" to maybe even "family". My brother has been dating a great lady for about 4 years. He have had family dinners with her and marked special occasions with her, but up until now she was "the girl my brother is dating". My brother lives a life that is so different from my own, his interests, his circle of friends, the area of the city and his work, none of them interconnect with mine. In fact, if we weren't related by blood there is a possibility that we might NEVER have met. It is strange that 2 related people can share a common heritage but be so different. In light of this fact, naturally there has not been a lot of opportunity to get to know his girlfriend outside of the Christmas and Easter... these occasions do not a family make!

Recently, though we have had a few opportunities to hang out together... She came with me to Canada Day at my parents' without my brother and we had a great time. Yesterday, we had a baby shower for her-I am going to be an Auntie! Then today, we are celebrating my mother's birthday, she is going to join us.

It has always been my prayer to have a good relationship with her, and now, this baby has really brought us together.

In a few short weeks she has moved - in my mind- from the woman my brother is dating, to my SISTER-IN-LAW!!! God is so good that he is using this baby to give us a bridge to reach out to one another and become truly a family.

I have a confession to make..... I am addicted..
That's right. I have a little secret. I am hooked on the show "America's Got Talent".

It is interesting show overall, but tonight there was one act that really stood out.

There was a man who was very confident. They interviewed him before he went on stage. He told the world how great he was and made it very clear that he was a force to be reckoned with, but more importantly that he was THE talent. With him was a man who was to sing behind him to complement the rap he was performing-the backup singer was Byrain.

When they came on stage, Byrain stood off to the side and introduced himself. When asked who was with him, the rapper reluctantly introduced Byrain as "the guy who sings with me on my CD".

The judges hated the rapper's act, but each of them commented on Byrain's performance. As each judge spent more time talking to Byrain, the rapper clearly became more and more arrogant and annoyed about sharing the spotlight. The judges invited Byrain to return later and audition solo.

Later in the show, Byrain performed and did a great job. He was humble and grateful. The first judge said 'Yes", and his eyes watered up, the second judge said "Yes" and he dropped his head in disbelief, by the time the 3rd judge said "yes" Byrain's eyes were full, and his face was tipped toward heaven and "thanks" was on his lips.

What struck me the most was the fact that he was happy to support another in thier dream. He was not there for himself, but in that humility and giving his all to see another have a once in a lifetime opportunity, he managed to find himself in exactly the right place to answer the knock of "opportunity".

This is the cool thing about God. He is a God of abundance. Some hesitate to invest in others because they feel like there is only so much 'destiny' floating around and to give something away limits thier opportunity, when in fact it is exactly the opposite. The more that we give, the more that there is to give. It goes back to our ability to love God because He first loved us.

Don't live in scarcity, don't feel like if you give something away there is less for you. Remember that like the widow with the oil, the multiplication only comes when you pour out that which God has given you!

Turning up the Heat

When there is change in our lives, there is always a bi-product, when God turns up the heat, there will be junk that will rise to the surface. In crisis, we always react in a manner that speaks to the truth of who we are on the inside. There is nothing like a little heat to bring out the true nature of the people around us-and more importantly, ourselves.

Have you ever found yourself responding to a situation and been surprised by your response? Perhaps you go back to an old coping mechanism. Addicts talk alot about this, people who are emotional eaters can be 'in victory' for years and then BAM, a crisis hits and they are finding all the Ice Cream in the city. We talked yesterday about the recurring challenges in our lives, and how we can seem to go through something similar over and over again.

I am in the process of watching a DVD series called "Dream to Destiny" by Robert Norris. In it he talks about the refining process. When they are refining metal-lets say gold- they heat it, the junk rises to the top, they scrape it off, and they they raise the heat. This process gradually makes the gold more and more pure.

The Bible talks about the "refining Fire" and how God wants to purify us with His fire. Here are 2 different versions of Proverbs 17:3:
3 As silver in a crucible and gold in a pan, so our lives are assayed by God. The Message
3The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tries the hearts. Amplified Bible

So often in crisis or as we are going through the refining process, all we can see is the junk that rises to the surface. We get caught up in the fact that we have been 'around this mountain' so many times, and 'how come I haven't figured this out yet?'. We all have done it. I think that it would be tough not to focus on the junk. We are all people who want to be following after Christ, and doing good things for God. The problem is, sometimes we not only get side-tracked by the junk that surfaces, we give into it, or worse we stuff it back down.

Think of the dieter that we talked about earlier. A crisis has just hit, she is scarfing down a litre of ice cream right out of the carton. She stops and realizes what she is doing. There are, in that moment, 3 common reactions. 1) she sees the behaviour for what it is, pushes away the ice cream, and chooses a better response. 2) she questions why she is in that response again, bemoans her faith and wonders what she has been learning for the past years and continues eating as she tries to figure it out. 3) She decides that she isn't that great a Christian afterall, that she will never conquer this issue, and moves on from ice cream to Pizza.

It doesn't matter the struggle we face or how long since we have been walking in victory, there will always be things that will rise to the top. You can replace the eating of ice cream with smoking, drinking, excessive cleaning, shopping... really any struggle that you have in your life.

Here is the biggest key..... that stuff that rises to the top?? The junk that you are so horrified still exists in your life? God is waiting for it to surface, and when it does, He gets a great big smile on His face because it means that the junk is exposed to His GRACE. If we don't stuff it back down, if we wait, He comes along, just like in the refinery, and scrapes off the junk, and we are better for it.

Don't be afraid of the junk that surfaces, it is all part of the process. God knows exactly what He is doing, and exactly what is hiding in the deepest corners of each heart.. espcially mine.

Listen and Learn

One of the biggest lessons that I have learned through all the adventures and changes in my life is how important it is to step out of the moment, and take stock. It makes no sense to blindly muscle your way through a situation. I was watching Dateline NBC last night about a rescue mission in Afghanistan that went very wrong. As they talked to the man who had to take over leadership of a situation as it spun out of control, one of the things he kept saying over and over was: “we stopped and assessed the situation”. They would find a new solution that used the assets at their disposal, tried that tactic, and often were forced back. Over and over and over they stopped and took stock of the situation and finally found a creative solution that mitigated the loss of more lives.

There are patterns and situations in our lives which seem to repeat again and again. There are battles that seem to focus on our weaknesses, and it feels like we are doomed to repeat the lesson over again until we catch it. I agree with that. We hear people talk about ‘going around the mountain’. The nice thing with God is that He is fully invested in our lives, and is “conspiring to bring you to the place of your destiny” (From: In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson). I agree that there are things that we have to master in order to see the fullness of what God has for us.

As well, though, I think that sometime God allows things in our lives for our growth and to learn these lessons. It seems that often there is a recurring theme. If I look back at my own walk, there is one underlying theme to all of the major crises in my life. It would be easy to look at that one thing and call it your Achilles heel, but I think that often the enemy will target our greatest strength and use it against us to cripple us into not achieving the fullness of God.

In my life, there is a recurring theme of finances in general and specifically God’s provision. I have a lot of knowledge in the area of finances, and an innate talent for financial things. Some if the biggest battles in my mind are about finances. It is frustrating because I see the enemy’s plans, he wants me to question God’s willingness in the area of finances, and convince me that if I waste any money (and I often do) that it disqualifies me somehow from the big dreams that I have. He taunts me with scriptures like “he who is faithful with the little can be trusted with much more” as I stand at Starbucks waiting for my $4.00 latte.

Is it wrong to buy a latte? Nope, is God going to hold that against me forever? Nope. I see that because this is a place that I have visited before. God ALWAYS comes through, and God ALWAYS provides, and there are mercies that are new every morning.

My life’s theme is finances, yours might be something else: education, purity, exercise, diet, gambling…. Whatever the principle still remains.

What I have learned is to keep my eyes open in the areas of your life that touch the biggest dreams of your heart. You will know what I mean because every time you dream that big dream, there is a thought about how YOU are disqualified because of something in your life. But each time you face this testing ground, God wants you to learn something. When you learn something, take stock and apply it next time. You will begin to see that each testing phase will have more success.

I have been unemployed before. I have felt bored, and useless before. In the past though, it has taken me a lot longer to become bored and feel like I needed to accomplish something. I have realized that I need to feel like I have finished something every day, and that when my brain is disengaged, I get really cranky. And so I celebrate this growth.

Take stock of your ‘little miracles’ tell them to people around you. I like to brag on what the Lord is teaching me, because it helps to remind myself that even though the circumstances feel the same, they are not the same because I am not the same.

He who started the Work will be faithful to complete it… I am going to listen and learn!

I'm in good company!

This part of the adventure hasn’t been easy, mainly it has been a struggle of the mind. When you think about it though, most major battles are lost or won on the battlefield of the mind. There was a point last week when that feeling of total uselessness overcame me and I went into a bit of a funk. Mostly out of boredom, I realized that I hadn’t accomplished anything that week. I mainly just sat around looking at my messy house and trying to work up the energy to clean because I knew that would make me feel better about myself, but as the days went on I felt worse and worse. At one point I was reading past posts that I had written- posts about chasing Lions and jumping off Cliffs. I could see the faith that I had in that moment. Faith to trust God for what was inevitable, but somehow, in the face of what the enemy was trying to get me to buy into, my faith was wavering. As I re-read those posts, it was almost like someone else had written them, because it was so far off what I was feeling in the moment.

I suppose that it is human nature to struggle with faith. All through the Bible there are examples of people of great faith conquering the enemies of Israel and then immediately encountering crises of faith. Elijah defeated the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18, but the next thing we see of him is when he is despairing for his life because Jezebel has put a bounty on his head.

The Isrealites were a classic case of achieving great things and then second-guessing God when things got rough. Remember Peter, he walked with Jesus and still had a crisis of faith. Thomas doubted, and the epistles are full of accounts of humanity struggling with faith. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that (in between jumping into the pit after the lion, and emerging from the pit victorious), Benaiah (1 Chron. 11:22) had a few twinges of “Oh my, what have I gotten myself into?”

I have full faith in God’s ability and His track record, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am looking at a dwindling bank account and forthcoming mortgage payments!

Stay tuned...

Floundering....

So here I am, in the water, just having been kicked out of the safety of “My Boat” . When I say My Boat, I mean all those things that I have built my security on: abilities, resources, friends, and history or success. God was calling me out of the boat to walk on the water, and the security of my boat made that first step very difficult! God sunk my boat. He took away the source of my financial security-my job.

In those initial moments after the boat sank, I knew that I knew that I knew that God had allowed this in my life, so it was His job to make it OK, my job was just to listen. If you recall, I went White Water Rafting a few weeks ago. It seems like it was a metaphor for what I am going through now.

Before I jumped in the water, we got all the instruction we needed to be safe including the biggest piece of information…. If you get into any trouble, look to the shore, the guides will be there yelling instructions to you, or to throw a rope if you need it. As I got caught up in the waves and things were getting scary, not only did the waves feel about 100 feet taller than they had from the shore, but there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. I had to consciously remind myself that I had seen the end, there were just 2 more waves, and remind myself to breathe. When fear threatened to overtake me, I felt like I was going to drown, and be lost to the river. I lost all perspective and could have allowed myself to give up, but then a voice yelled at me, and I was reminded of all I had been taught and did what it took to get out of a dangerous situation safely- all I needed to do was to follow the instructions I was given.

I feel the same way with God in this situation. I am in way over my head, but there is One who is able and strong enough and has enough experience to get me safely to ‘shore’. My only job is to listen. Listen to the voice of God calling to me, listen and obey!

Taking a deep breath

The time has come. The Lord has called me out of where I was into something new. He has been speaking to me for a few months about changes that need to be made in my life. A new career path was looming. It was very fun to think about all the opportunities and dream from the safety of a regular paycheque and dental benefits. Like so many of the things that God calls us to there was a seeming recklessness about dreaming of leaving behind the confines of a green cubicle and stepping out into the unknown. I wanted to… I really really really did! BUT

As a single person with a Mortgage and a car, the actual stepping out in faith was proving to be more difficult. How could I reasonably justify leaving a job with dental and RRSP matching to go out into the unknown? It was too big for my faith, or so I thought. Everything within me wanted to risk it and take God at His word that whatever He was calling me to would succeed and that He would not put me to Shame. Really, the thoughts that were holding me back were: What if I fall on my face and lose my house? And: What if I fail at this? What if bridges get burned despite my best effort and I cannot go back?

It is always fear that holds us back.

Two scriptures seemed to torment me day and night. The first was the Story of Abram, before he becomes Abraham. The lands were overcrowded because of the size of the flocks that were living there, and so God called Abram (Gen 12:1) to pick up his tents and move. I recall that God didn’t tell them where they were going to end up, just that God was going to show them the land. This came with the promise “I will make you a great nation”. The other was the story of Peter walking on water. Everything within me WANTED to step out of boat. I want to be able to brag on the faithfulness of God. I want to be one of those Christians who inspire others with a “well if she can, so can I” and see others step out of the boat to win the victory.

It was a classic case of being willing to be willing to take God at His word… always with a contingency plan though!

I suppose that the Lord got tired of hearing me complain about where I was, and justifying the reasons that I couldn’t move from that place so guess what? I was safe in the boat, so the boat sunk around me. I am no longer employed! There is nothing to be said for that except the circumstances are so strange that it is clear that God took me out of that place I was too chicken to leave on my own. The storm was seeking to overwhelm me, and now, I have no choice but to believe God when He says that He will provide. I am out of options. I am just glad that I packed my lifejacket-the Word of God!

Exciting times….

Reflections on Father's Day

Today was very full... lots happened, but most of all, Father's day!


Top 10 reasons I love my dad:

1) He loves the Lord
2) He loves to laugh
3) He loves his wife
4) He is very very smart and knows almost everything -or so it seems
5) His loyalty to the people he loves- even when it hurts
6) His tender desire to be in relationships that are healthy
7) His acceptance of others exactly where they are
8) His generosity of time, talents, spirit and love
9) He is teachable and curious about life
10) My dad works hard.... everything that he does he does with excellence.
11) His sense of honour- my dad put a lot of his own dreams on hold to ensure that we as a family had all that we needed and much of what we wanted..... and asked so very little in return.

Thanks dad for all that you model to me and those around me. Thanks for pouring into my friends and being open to give away so much of the life experience you have gained through hard work.

I love you Dad!

Today was a very full and amazing day.

Here are some of the cool things that happened today:
1) New outfit.... felt like a million bucks!
2) Watched a favourite couple of mine step into senior pastor role after serving faithfully as Associate Pastor for many years. (Jay & Lori)
3) Loved watching our beloved Senior Pastor (Barry) as he was presented with a new Mustang in thanks of 26 years of service
4) Such a feeling of amazing pride in our leaders at The Life Centre for modelling a different way!
5) Great lunch with good friends & getting to know them better!
6) Found the PERFECT Father's day gift at the first store I visited
7) Spent some quality time with my dad-at the lake
8) Grilled almost perfect steaks (a first for me!)
9) Drifting in the boat in the middle of the lake watching the sun go down wrapped an a blanket, debating whether the twinkling lights that were appearing were Satellites, planes or stars
10) A late night snack of Butterscotch Ripple with my dad!!

Behind Every Good Man

Ruth Graham, the wife of Billy Graham died today. It is a remarkable woman who can stand behind a man like that. To her credit, we don't know that much about her through the media.

Although she met many extraordinary people-including presidents- this is what her family had to say....

Ruth Graham was considered her husband's closest confidant during his spectacular global career ...
"She would help my father prepare his messages, listening with an attentive ear, and if she saw something that wasn't right or heard something that she felt wasn't as strong as it could be, she was a voice to strengthen this or eliminate that," said her son, Franklin, who is now the head of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

"Every person needs that kind of input in their life and she was that to my father."

What a badge of honour that is!

What I want....

Every once in a while, I come across an tip or thought about marriage or parenting that I think is "I want to do that when the time comes" This is one of those things.

How cool is it, that Mark Batterson and his wife have themes for their summer Vacations..... I want to remember that one! So I post it here for Posterity

Getting it together

This morning I had a unique opportunity to just sit and worship and pray. It was unique because I unexpectedly had no agenda. No where I needed to be, no one calling or pulling on my time. And so I sat, turned on some worship music and prayed.

There has been a major life changing event in my life. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that the next few months will require much faith and a lot of waiting on God. I am both excitd and nervous.

Over the past few months, I have been putting the truth of fasting to the 'test' if you will. I had never really fasted before, but I am seeing the benefits of fasting for myself. Now, when there is a major life event, or request, or time when I need an answer, fasting is my response, and with the fasting comes the praying. In this situation as well my first response was not to make a plan for my life, rather it was "OK God, what do you want me to fast this time?"

This is not to brag or boast, but rather to say this. As I was snuggled into my comfiest chair, pouring my heart out to God, reminding myself how good He is and what He has done in my life to 'prove' that to me. I felt the Lord say "I love this time". I realized I love this time too. I suppose that it is normal in times of Crisis to CLING to God because sometimes our life does truly depend on it. What I realized too, is that sometimes in the good times, I forget to cling to His side. Obviously with any relationship there is an ebb and flow, and you cannot be in High Alert mode every moment of everyday, but I want to be as close to God in the quiet moments as I am in the crisis.

A funny thought crossed my mind.... if I had a child who was not cuddly unless he was scared(never gave hugs, never needed the safe embrace only a mom can give) , but when scared would spend hours in my arms, drawing on all the love I had, and listening me whisper in his ear how much I love him and all the things I thought each day about him, I would probably have to fight the temptation to show him horror movies every night, or tell him stories about boogeymen in his closet. If the only time I got to be so close to him was when he was afraid, I might set up his world so that he was driven into my arms.

Is it possible, that in His amazing way, God allows things to cross our paths that "Force" us into His arms, not because He is mean or capricious, but because He knows that is the only time we CLING to him???

Not only is is possible, I am pretty sure that is what He did with Eve in the Garden. The curses that he laid out were not so much punishments as barriers to her self-sufficiency, they hemmed her in until the only way she could turn was to God-which really was the point anyway, right?

So here's the plan..... I want to build a lifestyle of "cuddles" with God so that He doesn't feel compelled to get my attention!

Passionate Words

One of my favourite Bloggers, posted this: "Living in anticipation of our finest hour can make integritous men out of us. It can cause us endure... to serve with dignity... to hold our heads up high... and to live blamelessly before God and man. It can bring us to our knees every morning and into the Word every night. We can rest knowing that if we do our part to be faithful, our sovereign God will do his part too in bringing us to our finest hour."

Bittersweet

The last of the Hockey Posts... for now

Here are my thoughts on the post season
I am so sad that we lost, it is a bummer and I wanted to see 'my boys' go all the way and take the cup. They had a great season and overcame adversity, this would have made a nice finish to the season. That being said, in this series, they were totally outplayed, the Ducks wanted it more.

As the game ended in what was a foregone conclusion by mid 2nd period, I was sad and disappointed, but at the same time, I began to see what was unfolding on the screen. Two of the players on the Ducks are brothers (Niedermayer) and they kept showing a shot of thier mother in the stands cheering them on- very cool.

As each player hoisted the cup over their head, I was so struck by the years, the sweat, the dreams and the hopes that were wrapped up in that one moment. They were not grown men, getting paid millions of dollarsto play in fancy sports arenas to thousands of adoring fans.... what I saw tonight, was a group of little boys, in their back yard ponds and ice rinks or out on the driveway, celebrating every goal as if it was the stanley cup. Each of those players knew exactly what they would do when they hoisted the cup because they had each practised it 1000's of times in their minds.

To see the joy on their faces for the pure love of the game was amazing, and I think, a reminder of what it is about sports that captures our attention so much- especially hockey for Canadians.

On a side note, we can take pride in the fact that many of the players on the Ducks are Canadian Boys........so we won anyway!

I'm a believer

Game #4 today!

For those who have been living under a rock or who might have just returned from outerspace, the Sens are in the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in 80 years. It is a 'best of 7' series. The Sens trail the series 3-1. This is BAD NEWS in that they cannot lose another game or the Anaheim Mighty Ducks will win the Stanley Cup.

Apart from that meaning we didn't win, it would also mean that a team from California named after a DISNEY film would posses the title of the best Hockey Team in the NHL..... does that seem wrong to anyone else???

It has been a good season, and the post-season has been stellar. We are a city of cautious fans, at the beginning of the playoffs we comforted ourselves with the thought that no matter what, we made it further than the Leafs, then we had the momentum to breeze through the next 2 rounds. With another amazing series won 4 games to 1, we were a city of optimists! We had an unstoppable team, we could almost taste the victory!

Then we lost the first 2 games of Round 4, the tone started to change. Walking around the city in a Sens jersey brought out comments like "At least we made it farther than ever before".

Canadians have this great ability to see both sides of almost any situation..... 30 feet of snow?... well at least we get a day off school... Our candidate didn't get voted in? ..... well at least we know that it can't be any worse than it was before.... OR even ... what you believe is fine for you..but I disagree

I think sometimes this desire to see both sides is a great trait, it makes us peace-keepers, it allows the diversity that we see in our country and it has given us a voice of reason on the world stage. What is doesn't do though is cause us to COMMIT!!

For this series, we are allowed to wear Sen's Jerseys or t-shirts to work on game days. Game 1, the whole building was a sea of Red, everywhere you looked people were right into it. As the series has progressed and we are no longer winning, fewer and fewer people are willing to make a stand for the Sens.

Human nature means that we want to be associated with winners, I totally get that, but what happens when our team isn't winning anymore? It's almost like we don't want to commit for fear of being associated with the team, despite an amazing season. So we hedge our bets and try to keep our hearts safe.

But this is not what we are called to, especially as Christians! We are called to radical faith, faith that would have us commit to lost causes, lost souls, or even lost dreams. We love and serve this God who would leave 99 sheep behind to go and find the 1!! Against all odds, He believes in us.

Do I think that the Sens are going to win? I think that they have an uphill battle that will require more of them than anything they have faced before as a team. I think that they have the talent to do it. Is it realistic to hang my hopes on a win? Not really, the odds are stacked against them in a huge way. Am I going to stop being a fan? Will I feel like the let ME down?? NO WAY!!! They have played 100+ games this season, and they have earned the right to compete for the top prize. They have given this city something to unite us, their play has generated buzz, and lots of dollars for all the industries that are impacted.

All of this, they have done with grace and class.

For that we say... JOB WELL DONE!!! Go get 'em boys!

Ice Cream, Test Drives and the Waiting Game

Today at work I was approached by a young lady who is in the beginning stages of a relationship, she often asks my opinion about different things and I try to give her the best advice I have . Today, the question was "how long into this relationship should I wait until...."

I told her that she didn't even need me to answer that question, but that she already knew where I stood on the subject of sex, and what I had to say she didn't want to hear.

Her response was typical of non-christians everywhere: "That ship has sailed, there is no point waiting now" and then very predictably, she suggested to me that not 'test-driving the car', can result in a life of misery-which of course in her mind equals bad sex!

If I had a dollar for every time a conversation about waiting evolved into a metaphor including either test driving cars, or flavours of ice cream, I truly would be a very rich woman!

I assured this young lady that my future sex life was in the very capable hands of a loving God who knows exactly what is best for me.. my exact words were " I know the designer and the manufacturer, He is a very good friend, and I won’t buy a “car” that He doesn’t recommend. I am wayyy more confident in His ability and expertise than I am in my own!!" She responded with the "that is nice that you have strong faith... but" response that I have often heard.

For the record, the subject of pre-marital sex is a closed subject, it is a non-negotiable command of God.

Still.....

Do I wish that the standard wasn't so high? Yes

Do I wish that the wait wasn't so long? Absolutely!

Do I sometimes think that the whole 'test driving' argument holds some logic? Sometimes

When you take the issue of purity out of the context of your whole life of worship before God and merely look at it in general terms of biology and physical exertion, waiting makes ALMOST no sense. Why would it?

On the other hand, there are a lot of things that God asks us to do that don't make sense: Love your enemies; bless those who curse you; die to live; give Me 10% right off the top; all these are commands of God that people sometimes struggle with but still strive to achieve. Why would purity be any different?

As I pondered this question and tried to find persuasive words that would accurately capture my choice so that she would stop looking at me like a child who 'just doesn't get it', a thought occured to me......

I wonder if anyone regretted waiting.

I have heard the tearful stories of couples who didn't wait. The heartbreak of a young person who jumped into sex too quickly and now has to live with the disease, or the baby, or just even the memory that they can never quite erase. As well, I have heard the testimony of people who have not waited, then decided later to course-correct and their relationship survived-or didn't- as a result. Never, though, have I heard "I wish I had taken the test drive!" It could be that there is a feeling among Christian adults that it is hard enough to convince the younger generation to wait that we don't even want to give any ammunition to the enemy who is trying his best to get them to buy into the lies he is perpetrating.

It would be interesting to hear from anyone who does regret waiting. I am not looking for excuses, or evidence that I shouldn't, rather, I am interested in people's journey.

Am I "Oprah worthy?"

"They're giving up their dreams, their retirement funds, and their comforts to be placed in highly uncomfortable situations--financially, relationally and personally. They're being grown, stretched, emptied out and at times crushed, and then they remember the God who first beckoned them, shake themselves off, get back up and do it again"~ Margaret Feinberg. In her post (April 24th) Margaret is talking about people who are changing the world.



I was thinking just today.... is my life worthy of an Oprah story??


I already know that my life is worth the Blood of Christ, and I am adopted into the eternal lineage of the Almighty-that is not the 'worth' I am talking about.


So often when watching Oprah there is a theme to the stories. Someone has overcome the circumstances of life, and the naysayers around them to pursevere and accomplish the dream that has whispered to them from the time they were children. So often have had to take a major risk and 'step out of the boat' in order to see the dream fulfilled.


Is my life "worthy" of an Oprah show?? Am I doing anything inspiring? Am I fulfilling my highest potential???


Right now, that answer is a resounding NO. The next question needs to be... what do I need to be pursuing in order to change those no's to yes's?

I suppose the one thing I can do right now is to remember that pursuing those whispered dreams means risk, it means discomfort, it means taking a leap of faith and having to rely on the promises of God. It could even mean "...be[ing] placed in highly uncomfortable situations--financially, relationally and personally...being grown, stretched, emptied out and at times crushed, and then... remember[ing] the God who first beckoned [me], shake [myself] off, get back up and do it again".

Look out below, I think that I am almost ready to jump!

Game Day

Today is game #2

The whole city will be abuzz with anticipation and speculation. We are so excited to just be where we are. Who would have thought 6 short months ago, when we were having such a hard go, that we would be in the FINALS!!! It makes it all the sweeter.

Sometimes the harder we work to overcome adversity, the more we appreciate the victory.

We are with you boys.

Now for something completely random!

I did a store locator search on the Tim Horton's website, and within a 50 mile radius of my home, there are OVER 100 locations!

There are 3000+ locations around the country where people can go and get caffinated! That means about 1 location for every 8000 people in our country! If only we had the same number of Doctors per capita perhaps our healthcare system wouldn't be in so much trouble!

I am a huge fan of "Tim's" (as friends and family call it) despite the fact that I have never had even 1 cup of their coffee. Something about Timmy's is so ingrained into the Canadian experience that after a long road trip, no sight is more welcome than those words "Tim Horton's" looming in the distance.

Last year my father and step-mother moved to the country, it is a beautiful drive along a very rural highway to Carleton Place. Between Ottawa and Carleton place there is not much but houses and forest, about 3/4 of the way to their house you come around a big bend and one of the first signs of "civilization' is the Tim Horton's attached to the Petro Canada. It is a marker, a milestone.

Tim Horton's is such a part of the Canadian experience that there is even a Tim's on the Base in Kandahar! Did you know that??

Our troops are comforted in the long months of deployment with Tim Horton's coffee. I think that this is very interesting. Of all the national institutions and luxuries, we export the coffee that runs the nation!

What is it about Tim Hortons that holds our collective attention!

"I feel very much like a person who has a calm and regular daily routine."



This quote was shamelessly stolen from one of my favourite blogs (Three Beautiful Things). She has this amazing way with words, and I often feel when reading her blog, that I have a special door to 1800's England.


Anyway... I digress... this past season has been ridiculously busy. I cannot even begin to tell you! There are things in my life that I feel very strongly about... relaxation is one, open space on my calendar that allows me to flexible enough to assist a friend in need is another. Both of those have been in VERY short supply- I have blinked and missed April and May!


As a result, the above quote that we began with is so far from my life right now, that when I read it, it was almost a physical shot in the gut. I am not sure how I am going to achieve it, but I know that there NEEDS to be a routine in my life that is both calm and regular!

A calm and regular routine has NOTHING to do with boring, or in a rut (which I suppose is the fear) but rather, when you have a stable and regular routine, the important things (like groceries, cleaning, and friendships) don't get overlooked. I have been running from pillar to post, only to stop, look around and realize that there is nothing in my fridge, and that I haven't spoken to the important people in my world for a couple of weeks!

This is unacceptable and........ well .... it just needs to stop!!

So 3 weeks from next Tuesday when I have my next open chunk of time, I will for sure sit down and make a plan-unless something else comes up!! *grin*

God's Timing

I HATE being late... I would rather be 1.5 hours early than 1.5 minutes late. I am one of those people who sets my clocks ahead to build in extra time. If I am meeting someone and they are late, it takes me about 2 minutes before I wonder if I got the wrong time, the wrong date or the wrong location. It stresses me out. I love it when people call as they are leaving to confirm, that way I know that when to expect them so that I can be ready. I much prefer it when people are early that way I know that we can arrive on time with no stress. There are people in my life I expect to be late, some I expect to be early and then there is God.

He always is right on time.... I am not going to lie to you..... it stresses me out! I once heard a speaker (I think Terri Bone) say that "God is never late, but He doesn't take many opportunities to be early!"

Wouldn't it be so much better if God was a "10th hour" God instead of an 11th hour God?? Wouldn't it be nice if he called ahead to let you know when He was leaving so that you could be ready when He arrived???

Or would it??

Sometimes it seems as though we can see the answer coming.. sometimes like nosy kids at Christmas we look for clues (a bag from a store that has what we want, or catalogues with our deepest desires nicely cirlced!) that might give us some insight about what God has in store for us.

This is especially true in the romantic world. For someone who is single, there is a hyper-diligence about when 'the one' will make his appearance, and so we become experts at reading the landscape and watching for changes to signify a new season in our lives has begun.

A few months ago the Lord gave me direction for this next stage of my life. In January, the sense I got was that the next year would be a time of preparation-for what I don't know- much like Esther spent a year preparing herself to be the king's wife. I did not take that to literally mean that 365 day from that moment I would be a wife, merely that God was preparing me for the beginning of something new. There is nothing in me that would want to take away from the amazing sweetness of the relatonship with God that has come out of this time. I really am in no rush....

And then the rain came today!

What is it about the rain that can cause us to be wistful? To lose sight of all the good things in life? Suddenly, all the plans, all the assurances, and all the peace got washed away in the rain (it probably didn't help that I watched a WWI movie about a pilot who falls in love with a french maid) and I was back to wishing, and hoping, and feeling empty.

In the wake of meeting Mike Fisher, there were many comments made by women I love and respect about God's timing for MY great guy, and some were saying that they 'feel like it is just around the corner'. Nothing sets a single girl's heart a twitter like hearing those sweet, sweet words! The problem is that amazing, loving, Godly women have been saying this to me for about 8 years!!! The word says "a day is like a thousand years" to God... I am almost afraid of how "around the corner" translates.

It would be helpful to remind myself of all the moments where God came through at just the right time. To recall that moment of sweet relief when someone you were expecting walks through the door. He has never, ever let me down....

Tomorrow I will remember that... today though, in the rain, life gets a little messy andI feel the emptiness acutely.

Oprah's Deal

I have just watched an old episode of Oprah that where she plays Deal or No Deal for an audience member. I am a fan of Oprah, I think that it would be the best education in the world to get inside her head and learn a little about making decisions. This episode was especially interesting in light of a book that I have been reading, called Blnk. It is an amazing book I picked up at the Maximum Impact Seminars I attended earlier in the month.

It was interesting to watch Oprah under pressure having to make decisions that would effect others but not be able to do the research she likely does for every other decision she makes. However, if anyone has the confidence and history of good decisions Oprah clearly has that.

This is the way it all unfolded....

Immediately, Oprah chose the case with the highest amount, and she got a very low offer from the banker.... it was so low that she was OFFENDED!

As time went on, the decisions were easy, but it was clear that she was taking very seriously the reality that 10, 25, or 40 thousand dollars could change the trajectory of someone's life. It was amazing to see that someone who makes million-dollar deals, and who runs a BILLION -dollar media empire could still relate to the reality of her audience members.

At one point, Howie attempted to turn the audience against Oprah reminding them that she was playing with 'thier money', and began to poll the audience about what they might do with the money... it was clear that the offer of about 25K would make a major difference in the lives of so many. However, in true Oprah style, she reminded the audience that when they walked in they had nothing, now someone would be guaranteed $5000..... she reset their perspectives, and the audience was once agan on her side.

One of the points in the book, Blink, is that our brains are wired to make thousands of split-second decisions every moment on an unconcious level, and we can harness that ability to make concious decisions. You all know people who need the research and all the reports and information about all the options available before making any purchase-even a minor one. As well you all know people who make split second decisions about major purchases and are happy with that.

I am a split-second decision maker, and it freaks out my friend Nicolle who is very intentional about every decision she makes. We don't shop together very often, but we have discussed our different approaches to purchasing, and she has seen me in action.

One day in an excercise to get to know me better, she asked which pattern of dishes I liked best, we were standing in a store with about 50 patterns, as I began to assess, I honed in very quickly on one pattern and 20 minutes later, I was leaving the store with a full set of those dishes including matching pasta bowls, and mugs. All she saw was an impulse buy, but what Nicolle had no way of knowing, was that about a month before, the thought had crossed my mind that since I had just bought my first house, perhaps an upgrade in my dishes was apropos! These were beatuiful, fit all my intrinsic needs for dishes, and were a great price... so I took the plunge. What was reckless to Nicolle turned out to be a really great decision for me.

One of the points in the book as well is that we need to protect ourselves when making a decision from the distraction of too much information... have you ever been in the middle of buying a major item (maybe a car, or an appliance or a house, or a great pair of shoes) and you are pretty sure you have made your decision, then suddenly the person helping you introduces another option into the equation? Suddenly paralysis sets in, what was almost going to be a firm decision, now is muddied. In the book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell tells may stories of major decisions that went bad because of too much information and input. Doctors who made increasingly poor diagnoses as the amount of the information about the patient increased.

I watched as this happened to Oprah. The first couple of choices, she was very confident, then as the noise from the audience weighing in got louder, she became more uncertain, then when the details of what people were going to do with the money added to the information, she became less and less sure that she was making the right decision. At one point she turned to an audience member and asked him what she should do, when he responded "go for it" she did without hesitation or thought, and it was the wrong decision! Of course in true Oprah style, the audience member who won, walked away with the full $100,000 courtesy of Hershey's.

I am not advocating a lifestyle of uninformed impulse decisions, however, I am learning that the way I tend to make quality decisions is different than others, and that I need to protect the way God wired me, while still being open to learn better ways of doing things.

What is your decision-making style?

Gone FISHin'

Tonight ended completely differently than I thought. We were at the ScotiaBank Place, Home of the Ottawa Senators. Tonight though, was not about hockey, we were there to worship with Delirious.

As we were hanging out after the concert, I looked over and 2 boxes over, I realized Mike Fisher was sitting. For those who don't know, Mike Fisher is an amazing christian man who plays for the Ottawa Senators. He is a great hockey player, a christian, and quite handsome. :-)

After the inevitable squealing, questioning, and not so subtle picture-taking, we decided that we wanted to meet this gentleman. My roommate and I walked over, and met him!

He was gracious and kind and sooo handsome.

Once again... taking the opportunities as they are presented!

How would you feel if you DIDN'T!!

Adventure in the Water

On Saturday we went White Water Rafting! It was amazing. This was a new experience for me- and it was totally worth it!

Although I was excited, there was some trepidation; I knew that we were going to be issued wetsuits, travel along the white water, go cliff jumping and put ourselves at some amount of danger (let's face it, it wouldn't be fun otherwise!). Water is a very familliar place for me, I was a fish as a child and spent a couple of summers as a lifeguard, so there is no fear of water, but without fail, I have always been fearful of jumping off high cliffs into the water. I just have never been able to talk myself into doing it! I was also nervous that I wouldn't have enough arm strength to be a productive paddler for 6 hours. But inspite of it all I went.

In the spirit of my new motto "Imagine how you would feel if you didn't...", I decided that no matter what, I would get the most out of all the experiences offered. I knew that there would be an opportunity to do some cliff jumping. I told my boat mates that I was going to jump off the cliff!

As we passed by the rock we were to jump off, it didn't look that high. We pulled the boats up onshore, and climbed to the top. It came to my turn, and that familliar feeling overcame me. The rock looked much higher than it seemed from the water! I stood for a moment, fighting the urge to turn away and "chicken out", but I had promised myself, committed to my boatmates, and so there really was no choice to make. I HAD to jump. So took a deep breath, let out a little scream and off I went! Falling through open air waiting to hit the water is NOT my favourite feeling, but just KNOWING that I had done it, was amazing. That, and the fact that I had survived a much bigger risk, put it all into perspective.

Earlier in the day, we had body surfed through a very cool rapid. We experienced it first in the boat (and that got the adrenaline pumping!) then our rivier guide told us that we could surf down the same rapid! I was sooo excited.

We got a safety briefing including where we had to position ourselves along the line of waves, what to watch for and what not to do! This rapid was located just beside the spot where we were stopping for lunch, so there was a large number of boats, people and river guides as well!

The current coming out of the rapid was very strong and if you don't swim hard enough, you could get swept down river. At the top of the rapids, one of the river guides, watched and yelled instructions as we approached the rapids, he whistled at us when to roll over onto our backs, he had a high level view and so could see where we were in relation to the waves.

At the bottom, the rest of the guides were stationed at different distances with ropes to assist and then finally, there were a couple of guys in a boat to go get anyone who missed the other safety guys.

It was a scary experience, and it felt like I was going to drown, but in spite of what I FELT in that moment, I KNEW that those guys wouldn't let me get so far down the river that I would be lost, I KNEW that they had the perspective and the expertise to ensure my safety. I also knew that my helmet would keep me safe, the lifejacket would keep me a float, and the wetsuit would keep out the icy chill of the spring water. In the midst of the roiling waves, I got some water in my mouth, and I couldn't catch my breath, but I remembered what the River Guide had said about waiting until the backside of the wave to catch a breath. So I waited and forced myself to breath when it was safe to do so. I had listened and absorbed the lifesaving information before entered the water.

As I thought this experience, I realized that it is a great picture of our lives as Christians. Sometimes we are on the shore, sometimes at the end of a tumultuous period, sometimes we are struggling just to breath. The good news, though is when we are in community, connected to thers who are further along in thier walk and life, when people have experience and perspective AND we let them know what we are experiencing, and keep our ears and eyes open to recieve the assistance that they can offer, we are safe. Safe to step out and try new experiences, safe to risk doing what God is asking of us. We cannot get too far off the path before someone will notice and throw us a rope to haul us back on track. And if we somehow get swept out past all that, we can rely on God to have a team out in the river, with the equipment and the commitment to make sure that none are lost.

This experience has taught me that no matter what the fears facing me, I can overcome the irrational ones and take a leap in spite of the history that would echo and taunt me. As well, I am reminded that having a crowd of amazing people around who love me and are looking out for me allows me to step out and explore in greater confidence, the plans that God has for me.... and the same goes for you!

Lions in the Grass

I just finished a really great book! It is called IN A PIT WITH A LION ON A SNOWY DAY by Mark Batterson.
It is all about opportunities that come along.
The central idea is based on a character in scripture who, in a single moment, choose to chase a lion into a pit on a snowy day. While that whole scenario seems like a really really bad idea, he persevered and killed it. From there, God brought him alongside David, and eventually he lead the army of Isreal in their fight against the Moabites, and they won. This book is written by a church planter- someone who knows about takng on a 500 pound opportuity that has potential to harm!

One of his biggest points in the book is:

God is constantly conspiring to bring you to the place of your destiny.

So many people miss opportunities, because often it "is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure.... your greatest fear"

I took a lot away from the book. Primarily it reminded me of how BIG God is, and that so often I have allowed my fears of circumstances distract me from the Truth of God's ability to work ALL things together for good. If we truly see God as He is, NOTHING would phase us.

I have been hearing the Lion's footsteps in the undergrowth, glimpses of that amber fur which is equal parts awe-inspiring and terrifying. I will admit that in this season, I have ventured beyond the walls of safety that surround my home and I am seeking out some adventure, so really, starting to see the Lion is not that surprising~ but it can be just a scary!!

When you are out beyond your comfort zone, every noise causes you to stop and reassess: do I have the tools I need? Do I have the plan in place? What on earth am I doing? But all in all, God is whispering to me: "How will you feel if you DON'T?" He reminds me that He is the author and finisher of my faith, that He is working all things together for good, but most of all that HE is the Lion of Judah!!! I am safe in His presence, even when what He is asking me to do is scary and risky and.... exhilerating!!!!

This is a season of change. I can feel it in the air. Something is stirring in me to move, to position myself in a potentially scary place right in the centre of God's will for me. It is taking all of my trust and faith in the Lord, to even think about what is next for me, because the dreams are too big to me to fathom the sight of them coming to fulfillment.

Keep watching the peripheral areas of your life, maybe, just maybe, a Lion lurks there waiting for you too!

Purely Logikal!

Once again, Amanda Hayden (My friend, sister, and partner of mischief) has rescued me from my own lack of creativity regarding the look of this site.

I must admit, I have been feeling A LOT of BLOG envy, but now I feel like I can play with the 'cool kids'!!

This is a great example of everyone in the Body of Christ using their talents to work together.

Amanda is -as you can see- an incredibly creative site designer, but that is not all....... she has am amazing eye for beauty. Check out her portfolio at www.logikal.ca

Photographer, Web Designer, Ultimate Player, Dancer, and most of all woman with an amazingly generous heart. I am privileged to have her in my life.

Now that the environment is beautiful, perhaps I will be more inspired to write more!

Maximum Impact

On Friday, I had the amazing privilege to attend the Maximum Impact seminars at the Life Centre. They are a simulcast with some of the most amazing business leaders around!

John Maxwell, Tim Sanders, Mark Sandborn, Coach Hermann Boone (Remember the Titans is his life story), and many others. What I got out of it could fill volumes! It was absolutely awesome. God is so aware of the timing of situations in our lives. It was clear that He was priming me before this event so that as I was sitting there listening to the speakers, it felt like the whole event had been orchestrated just for me!!

The very first speaker, Mark Sandborn, told a story about when he went Bungee jumping. He jumped and had a great time. The lady behind him, however, was more hesitant. He said that after a time, he noticed the men at the top of the bridge speaking to the woman, and eventually she jumped.

After they unhooked the woman and brought her to the shore, Mark said he asked her what the men said that made her decide to jump. What he said next, captured my attention. Essentially, what they told her was to not think about how she felt on the ledge, or about the first step off, rather to think about how she would feel after she had jumped. More importantly, though, they asked her to think about how she would feel every day for the rest of her life if she DIDN'T jump.

In that moment, I had a flash of so many moments when I didn't jump. Lost opportunites, poor choices, forgotten hopes and dreams. I cannot pin point the reasons I didn't jump in those moments, just that something held me back. All I could think of was how I felt in the moment. I was only focussed on the ledge.

But God calls us to more. God has higher plans, and we can never fulfill them standing on a ledge fearful about the next step.

Just this nugget has opened my eyes to the possibilities before me, and I know that everytime I take the risk and remind myself of the payoff, that God will be faithful to complete the work He has started in me.

Stay tuned for more from Maximum impact, and just JUMP!!

Scandalous Jesus

Of late, I have had more 'guy time' than at any point over the last year or so! For a long time, my primary social interaction has been almost exclusively with women . This was not on purpose or for any reason other than with my limited social time available, I wanted to be intentional about connecting with the women in my life.

This time has been amazingly fulfilling, I know 'my ladies' better than I imagined and I love the relationships that have blossomed as a result. What I didn't realize was how much I have missed doing 'guy stuff'-watching hockey, football, playing games and just goofing around. Guys have this amazing ability to just 'be', and share the moment. Women tend to have plans and agendas - not in a bad way, just goals and points they feel like they need to address for a time to be 'productive'. I have always enjoyed adventure and games and sports. Getting together on a sunny Sunday afternoon to play volleyball is my idea of a GREAT time. This time I have been spending with guys has re-ignited in me a desire for adventure! As well, I have been reading "Wild at Heart" in an attempt to improve my relationships with the men in my life (brother, father, pastors, co-workers, friends). I always want them to be at their best, and I know that how I interact with them can influence that a lot. Wild at Heart is an amazing book by John Elderidge about how God designed men and the things that the enemy does in order to cripple their hearts into accepting a life without adventure.

This has reignited my desire for adventure, to seek out a purposeful existence that might seem to push the envelope of reason, or ‘security’-but isn’t that what Jesus was all about?

This immersion of all things ‘guy’ has changed my perspective on Jesus. The other night, we got chatting about The DaVinci Code. In the course of conversation, the word scandalous came up. I had a realization. Jesus lived a scandalous life- not scandalous like Enron, or “Jude Law with the Nanny” but scandalous none the less.

Dictionary.com defines scandal as:
a disgraceful or discreditable action, circumstance, etc.
an offense caused by a fault or misdeed.
damage to reputation; public disgrace.

Think of this, for thousands of years, the Jewish people had lived according to a certain way. They were, in Jesus’ time, a people living under occupation; this meant that they were subject to a foreign rule that just barely tolerated the Jewish lifestyle and faith. His birth was shrouded in scandal, everyone knew who He was, and then He began to preach!

He healed on the Sabbath, questioned the Pharisees, reached out to the Leper, spoke to the ‘unclean’ Samaritan woman living in sin, protected the adulteress, disrupted the temple, questioned traditions, and called the fishermen! We are familiar with all these stories, and we tell them like trite children’s tales, focusing on the lesson rather than the action.

Think of it this way….. What if someone stormed CNN’s studios, and began to expose the lies that this culture has pounded into our minds and hearts? “Debt is normal”, “the world exists for my benefit”, “I deserve to be happy”, “Sexual preference is not a choice”. What if churches began to pay off people’s debt and then trained them to stay out of that debt? What if our churches truly became a hospital for the sick of heart? It would cause a stir and a sensation, yet that is the contemporary equivalent to Jesus in the Temple!

The whole of the Jewish world would have heard mumblings about this Jesus, about the ‘disruptive’ things that He was doing. What REALLY got to the religious leaders, though, was His claim to be God-to have the right and authority to forgive sins. At His trial, there was not likely a lot of talk about the miracles, or the Sabbath infractions, but rather their biggest complaint was the He was a blasphemer!

The definition of a Blasphemer is: “to speak impiously or irreverently of (God or sacred things)”.

What are some of the “Sacred things” in our society? What are those things that we as Christians are ‘not allowed’ to speak about?

I love that Jesus was scandalous! It puts into perspective the dreams and visions that He calls us to. All over the world, people are scandalizing societies with their dreams. Bono did it with the Red Project, Muhammad Yunus did it with micro-credit in Bangladesh, Bill Gates is doing it with his work to reform education in America, and orphanages all over Africa are changing the way society views those with HIV, by embracing infected children and loving them. It is time to reach past the constraints of ‘what would people think?’ and begin to scandalize your sphere of influence!

You might not be called to change the whole world, but you can still cause a stir. What would happen if you voiced God’s perspective on abortion, homosexuality, and abstinence? What if you refused to listen to gossip, or spoke highly of your spouse? How would your co-worker respond if you offered to pray for her-or even just lent her your car? Does the word Scandalous come to mind?

Adventure

When was the last time that you recall a heart-pounding stomach in your throat experience???

Was it when you jumped out of a plane? Tackled a higher, more advanced ski hill? Stepped out in faith to touch someone’s heart? Or stepped beyond your shyness and answered a question in small group, in front of people you don’t know?

I am more and more convinced that God wired us for adventure. Male and female, it doesn’t seem to matter. It is embracing that danger that gets our hearts pumping and requires more from ourselves than we ever thought possible. It puts us in a position to trust God.

Part of the sense of adventure is the thrill of over-riding that instinct which would protect your life or your dignity. This survival instinct is so strong, and for good reason it was designed by an amazing God, to keep us from throwing our lives away. As is the case though, what God intends for our good, the enemy can twist to keep us from the fullest life God intended. Our survival instinct can be warped to keep us in bondage to our past.

I recall a time in grade 8, I entered a talent show, not a contest with judging or anything, just a chance to celebrate each other. I chose to sing. While I have delusions of grandeur … I am no Celine, I know that I can carry a tune. Somehow though, the tape I was singing to was poor quality and I couldn’t hear it. I as I sang, I saw the looks of horror on my classmates’ faces, eventually silent horror turned into outright booing. I fled the stage in tears and hid for the rest of the day in a dark room. To this day, if you put a microphone in my hand and ask me to sing, I freeze, there is a survival instinct that kicks in to protect me from further pain in this area. Is this rational?? Is this a good use of a defense mechanism? The enemy has warped it in a vain attempt to protect my pride. So many people have legitimate fears and hurts from their past that keep them from making similar mistakes that could be to their detriment- that is not what I am referring to….

I refer instead to those things that keep up bound to irrational fears and concerns.

If we are to overcome these irrational fears and bondages, we must cling to the Cross of Christ. Then we must act… if your biggest fear is to speak to strangers yet some where at the depths of your soul you yearn to preach… that is holding you hostage.

God has this funny way of using us in our weakness so that we HAVE to rely on Him. Think of Moses the stutterer…. Called to go before Pharoah to SPEAK the words of God.

2 summers ago, I had the amazing experience to go skydiving. It was a spur of the moment decision, and one of the BEST experiences ever!! I was excited and nervous until they announced that I would be going next, then I was ‘in the zone’. I got very serious and very focused, I watched as they packed my chute and I watched as my instructor put on his gear. I knew that as important as MY harness was, it was his harness that held our chute.

I remember experiencing an extraordinary quietness in my spirit as we took off. I was more concerned about losing my lunch in the back of the tiny plane than about jumping out of it. As we approached the jump zone, the only thought I had was “this is a perfectly functioning plane, why am I jumping out of it??” I was not afraid, I was not scared of the height, I wasn’t imagining all the things that could go wrong, all I had to do was to override this idea that although we were not in any danger on board the plane, we were exiting it.

Sky diving was a defining moment in my life. I took a risk that I always wanted to but never thought I would follow through on. There have been so many lost opportunities ranging from not dancing with a great guy, to not pursuing a dream to go on a cultural exchange in school. For some reason I allowed a sense on inferiority to hold me back from these life experiences.

Now though, I have gotten a taste of living a ‘dangerous’ life for God. Stepping out in prophetic giftings, risking being wrong to make sure that God’s loving messages are delivered when they are needed.

I long for adventure, and my soul burns to do something significant for God. I recently read “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day”. It is a book all about taking advantage of opportunities that arise before us and being prepared to respond. It is too easy to blame my mortgage, or my past, or my insecurities for holding my in a job that is sucking life from my very soul. I see too many people around me who have succumbed to the ‘safety’ of middle age, stable job, stable spouse, stable hobbies, safe safe safe….

I would rather put my physical life in danger doing what God has called me to, than to die a slow miserable death of my hopes and dreams.
I am not advocating being stupid and risking life and limb in the pursuit of adrenaline (as I have been accused of!), nor do I think that you should leave a great marriage just because it is safe. Rather, in little ways each day, find something that makes your heart pump and your eyes sparkle and makes you rely on God just a little more. Take a risk. Find that adventure.

Amazing Article

God is so great that He answers the deepest questions of our hearts. I recently had an amazing conversation with my amazing Step-mother. As we were talking, she touched 2 deep questions in my heart, and all I could do is cry as her words were like a salve to my soul.

Here is another example of when God speaks to the questions of our hearts.

Thanks Terry for passing this along.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2002/005/9.82.html

"By Appointment Only"

Have you ever seen those boutiques in major cities that have "By apointment only" signs out the front? They often are tucked in a back corner that you kind of stumble upon by accident. To look in the windows would reveal a tiny space with about 4 items for sale, and one stunning salesperson who does a great job of ignoring the entire world that exists beyond the front window. It is easy to wonder how a store with a bad location, no inventory and snooty sales staff could ever stay in business, much less turn a profit.

The key to these businesses is the exclusive clientele, those of discerning taste who are happy to pay a lot of money for the latest creation from the designer who rents that storefront. There is no need to advertize, no need to welcome the public, mainly because not everyone is welcome. There is an aura of mystery because of the exclusivity.

I recently had a conversation with a married woman regarding the state of singles at our church. We as single women have often bemoaned the lack of single from which to choose; the woman I was speaking to used the word 'stagnant'.

In other moments when asked what I am praying for in a man, I have some pretty specific requests that I have laid before the Lord. Often the response from others is that I am limiting the population of men and their thought is that this is a bad idea. I realized some time ago that it didn't actually matter to God's ultimate plan how many men I 'excluded' because all I really need is one. One man whom God knows already will be the best person for me.

I don't need a whole "Wal-Mart" of choices, where all are welcome and the choices have been picked over, tossed on the floor, mislabeled. Not only is that time-consuming it is also confusing, how do you know that somewhere in the next aisle there isn't a better deal or person. You could spend your life looking back at the options and wondering.. did I make the best choice.

Rather, I know this really great designer, only does family, by appointment only. When you go in He spends as much time as you need, he lets you talk about what you want and what you don't want, debate colours and fabrics. He cannot be cajoled or manipulated or demanded of, you can try but there will be no revealing of His masterpiece until the appointed time.

I have tried to convince Him that this particular time or event or situation could be a great time for His masterwork, but He asks for patience and trust. I have spoken to others who have gone to Him and they say that as frustrating as it is, what He is creating cannot be rushed and once it is seen, will always be above and beyond expecation and imagination.

There are others who have rushed Him and begged, and harrassed to the point where He gives in and gives them what they asked for even though it wasn't His exact design. In those cases, the fit is never quite right, the fabric not exactly what would have been best, and often the recipient has questioned the designer's talent and ability, He just says, "I gave you exactly what you wanted, even though I knew it wouldn't be perfect for you." Sometimes they negotiate a return or a second try, and often the result is stunning, but there is always the memory of the first.

The Bible says to pray specifically for all things. I don't suppose that this is any different. In fact, I find that the more specific I am when praying for anything, the more clearly I see when a prayer gets answered because it fits all the criteria that had been prayerfully crafted.

Take heart ladies, there is a beautiful and exclusive creation being formed just for you, and will exceed all that you could ever ask or even imagine. A one-of-a-kind.

An Undivided Heart

"Above all else, guard your Heart, for it is the Wellspring of Life" Prov 4:23

I always thought that this meant that when you meet someone who piques your interest, to be cautious so that youdon't get hurt. I was WRONG.

Recently, I have begun to see a MAJOR dream of my life beginning to reveal itself in my life. I am totally excited.... and a LOT scared.... not scared in an 'I'm afraid of the dark' kind of way, but rather in the "Whoa, this is big, and fragile, and.... distracting me!" kind of way.

In recent months I have found a deeper relationship with God than I have ever experienced before, there is more strength, trust and intimacy. I am loving it. Now suddenly I am lying in bed unable to sleep at night because of the beginnings of this dream come true! Tonight, as I was pondering recent developments, I prayed AGAIN that God would be at the centre, and that He would work all the details and the timing in a way that will build a solid foundation. I was ONCE again doing what I had always been taught, return it to God and He will bless it.

Then something hit me.... my prayer life in the last few weeks has been almost exclusively regarding this subject. I have had many long conversations with God, and little short moments as I needed to stay focused on the task at hand. That is not the problem, it is the exclusivity, one topic that is the problem.

There is so much going on the world and in the worlds of my firends and loved ones and ALL I can focus on is this situation! I had momentarily lost the "undivided heart" that is spoken of in 1 Corinthians 7:32a. It is this undivided heart that has been the message of my life for the last 5 years. I have sought to put Christ in the centre place... and now here was a precious dream... pulling me in a second direction.

There is an album that I just picked up by Tim Hughes called "Holding Nothing Back", one of the songs talks about Jesus being EVERYTHING.... I began to weep as I realized what people had been telling me all along, my singleness is a GIFT from God because of the freedom that it has allowed me to be undivided of heart.

I know that there is room within my Christ-centred undivided heart for all the dreams that God has planted in my Heart. They are His idea too, and so there must be provision for them, but even the DEEPEST desires of my heart MUST give way to my relationship with God- even if it could mean giving them up.

You know what is cool though? God has moved me from a place of 'having' to give them up to 'WANTING' -truly desperately wanting- to give up whatever could possibly distract me from His purpose.

"Look what God can do" - Jennifer Hudson

Immediately Important

What a time this has been!! I have spent the last week in "Homeowner Chaos". Within 1 week, my dishwasher bit the dust,the framing on my couch broke, and I reached a boiling point with my washing machine- 3 trips down the stairs per loan to ensure all is detergent-free and spun well is too much! This necessitated a shopping excursion for a big-ticket item.

In the best of times, shopping for appliances can be intimidating, frustrating and is ALWAYS expensive. Combine that with the stress of an unplanned expense, and the need to get a replacement, and you have the recipe for time-consuming adventures.

I had many things planned that I needed to accomplish last week, and spending time with Appliance sales people was not on that list! There were a number of things that just COULDN'T get done. Unfortunatly that meant disappointing a friend, forgetting a few things and ultimately a busy Saturday prepping for a gathering that should have been done on Thursday.

Through it all, God is good and provided just the right people, a sense of peace, timely sales, and Home Depot open on Sunday, so I survived, but it got me thinking.

I spent all weekend chasing my tail and running from one 'fire' to another as I reacted to the things life threw at me. I remember a post I read recently (I think on Tim Sanders Blog??) about the difference between immediate and important things. So often we go from immediate need to immediate need and there doesn't seem to be time for the important things. Obviously there are moments in our lives where the immediate and the important collide but so often we get robbed.

I find that in this ADD world of 1000 messages in our faces all day that it is too easy to get pulled in so many different directions. Because we read blogs, and hang out on facebook, it can sometimes feel like we are connected to one another, and so we forget to pick up the phone for a real chat.

So today, I want keep a list of the important things I have to do this week, and when given the choice of immediate or important, I will choose important....

gotta go check my facebook :-)

Random tuesday thoughts

It is important to me...

1) that those around me feel loved and like they can accomplish anything
2) to know that my family is safe
3) to have a purpose and goals that carry value to the world at large
4) that truth is a cornerstone of my life
5) that every dream God places in a heart has an opportunity to grow
6) that to the best of my ability people I love never go to or return from the airport/hospital alone
7) that every child I love gets enough hugs and attention
8) to know that Canada's future and past, legacy and future are in good hands
9) that people feel at home in my house
10) to feel emotionally safe with my closest friends

Where are the Heroes?

I had the great privilege recently to spend some time with a member of our armed forces who is actively training for deployment to Afghanistan. A couple of months ago, another friend had to say goodbye to her new husband as he was sent over as well.

I had a realization this weekend about the different perspective that we in this country have versus the US. The US is a country AT WAR. We are a country who has troops in the "Theatre of War". Where does the difference come from? Why are we here in Canada so set on denying that, as distasteful as it may be to have to send our friends, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, daughters and sons into battle, we are a country at war?

Have we changed so much in 90 years? Tomorrow is the Memorial for the Vimy Ridge. From France to Holland and now Afghanistan, when a difficult manouver was needed to change the course of battle, they have called in the Canadians. We are known as nation of well-trained, consistent soldiers.

This is something that we need to be proud of. The rest of the world knows it, but in Typical Canadian Style we deny, and argue away our achievements under the guise of political correctness. These are the heroes of our culture, not the airbrushed, over photographed celebrities and athletes we so often elevate.

Whether you agree with the the government's policies or not, we are all in this together. Many of us have some sort of tie to the armed forces, whether is was a grand-parent in a conflict long past, or know of someone who actively serves. They deserve our support, thanks and mostly our Prayers.

What is a Family?

There are those who would argue that family is a group of genetically connected people who share common history and lineage. Others might say that Family are those people you go to in trouble, the kind whose unconditional love guides us through the hard times and celebrates the good times.

Growing up, I always had family around me. Like any other family, there were dysfunctions, laughter, tears, and that somewhat uncomfortable feeling of being in a room full of poeple you don't know as people but feel a connction to. Every Christmas, thanksgiving and Easter, we would gather like actors on a stage and catch up and joke and argue like families, but for the most part spent very little time together in between. Some of the reason for this was geography, some of it was circumstance, but we would still come together, mostly in honour of my grandmother who was truly the Matriarch of the family. In recent years, however, my family is more scattered, my parents divorced, and the older generation all are in nursing homes.

If we had limited ourselves to the traditional definition of Family every holiday would be 2 or 3 people sitting around a table wishing for others to be part of our celebration. But we made a choice a few years ago, that we would actively seek out those who also had limited family in the city and invite them out.

In doing this, I have had the amazing privilege to spend time with people I might not have connected with. Once you share a holiday meal with someone, that person is always connected to you..... like family! In this way, I have found a network of people who will allow me to be me, and care about my joys and my tears. There is safety in the love of family.

I love that God's crowd is a family. We don't need to share interests, or history, rather it is the different history and the different interests that makes things interesting. But when it all comes down to it... we do share something so valuable....

We are all sinners saved by the Grace of God, through the death of Christ on the cross. What better common ground is there?

Out of the Salt Shaker!

We have just completed "The Nails" performances for the year. While it is bittersweet to find that all the hard work we put into it over the last few months is over so fast, I know that we touched many lives. In each performance there were more people who had never seen it than who had. Each of us took up the mantle of bringing friends and family who need to know about God. It makes every moment worth it.

The highlight for me is how everyone involved comes together as a family. It doesn't matter whether someone has a solo, a single line, or is working in the background helping with makeup or hopsitality, we all share a bond. We were part of the CAST AND CREW of '07!

The cool thing about having so many people involved from the smallest kids to the biggest kids (those of us who are usually called adults) we all get to cross out of our usual social strucutres and meet people we might never had met.

I had the amazing privilege of meeting a couple of really amazing single women, built better realtionships with those I already knew, and met some completely new people. It is too easy in a church of our size to see faces for many years and pass in the halls but never meet. I am always amazed and humbled at how God connects hearts and lives in ways that are eternal.

In the book Captivating the authors talk about how one of the things women need is to be "an irreplaceable part of a grand adventure".

What bigger adventure is there in the whole world than to expose new people to the amazing Love of Jesus?? EVERYONE who gave even a single moment in service to The Nails, is an invaluable and indispensible link in the chain.

To Honour a Friend

Today's post is a little different. Here's the deal. My friend Nicolle is turning #% years young this year. As a lead up to her Birthday, I have been writing notes of the top 30 things I like about her. Each day there is a different aspect of her personality and our friendship that gets the spotlight.

Today I decided to give her some public attention......

Today's Reason why I like Nicolle is.....

The way that you Steward all of your resources. I have watched as you manage the finances, time, and energy available to your family. I have seen you sacrifice, pinch, get creative and stay tenacious to get the most of every penny available to you. I love how you approach large challenges and surprises that come your way. Your level of faith to believe God for the provision for your family is inspiring. I have seen people with much more do much less to provide a quality life for their family.

This talent that you have extends to all areas of your life. You steward your frienships and time in the same way.

May God continue to richly bless you in abundance.

Love you....

If you have a comment that you would like to add to Nicolle.... feel free