If you are surprised that I can do a whole post on a pair of shoes, either this is your first visit to LauraCoxworth.com, or we have never met. I have a rule in my life.
"I always want to be barefoot, but if that is not possible, my feet need to be in a pair of FIERCE shoes, or amazing cotton gym socks"
If you think that I am kidding, I am not.
Knowing my love of all things shoes, my amazing roommate purchased for me a pair of really beautiful HIGH stilettos for Christmas. I had not worn them though, because they are just a bit too big, and the heels are so high, that you don't want to risk falling off!
I pulled the shoes out for the Nails because frankly they are soooo nice. The only problem is that this year, the stage had about 40 steps of various heights and placements that I had to navigate around to do my part. Normally I choose shoes that are completely safe, snug fitting and preferably with some sort of strap for insurance, so I am not really sure what I was thinking with this year's choice.
As I think about it though, it is possible that these shoes were the PERFECT shoes for what God wanted me to see and understand. The combination of size, height, and stairs meant that EVERY step had to be thought through, every movement carefully considered,
In carefully considering every step, I realized that it didn't make sense to take extra steps just because I felt I HAD to. It forced me to be more efficient in my movements. As well, when amateur actors (and I am definitely in that category) get on stage, there can be a tendency towards frenetic movement that can look panicked from the audience. I am sure that I looked much more settled than I felt simply because I didn't want to risk the extra steps.
Is is possible that God can speak to me through my shoes? I love God, He loves me, and I LOVE SHOES, so it seems a logical extension.
Here is what I discovered: Anything that keeps me a little off balance has the amazing by-product of sending me right into the hands of God. I have discovered over my journey a reliance on Him that I hadn't before. As well, I have discovered that sometimes movement for the sake of having something to do steals something from the experience you are trying to have. I have learned the benefits of waiting one more moment before taking what I feel is the next step.
Onstage when the lights dimmed but I needed to walk down some steep stairs, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light, but if I waited that extra moment, I was much more confident that I wouldn't fall down the stairs. I have learned it is the same with God. Occasionally, He calls us to something with a short timeline, and delay in that case IS disobedience, however, more often then not, another moment to consider is actually better.
Has there been a situation where you took extra time to ponder and had a lot more safety doing what God had called you to?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
What about the Nails?
Every year at TLC we do an Easter Production called "The Nails". If you have ever heard the Easter story you know the general plot. TLC takes a little twist on the story to tell it from the perspective of the blacksmith who made the nails that Jesus was crucified with. It is dramatic and life-changing. I have played the same part for 3 years and every year, it has been a profound and amazing experience.
When you are in your 3rd year of playing the same role, the focus of energy moves away from remembering the lines, to finding depths beyond the words-finding a new way to communicate them. We perform it 3 times, and every time there is a different experience. God comes in and takes over and I feel the differences in the words and meanings. It is like God tailor makes each experience for each audience. We as the cast are just along for the ride.
The reason we do it, is ALWAYS about the lives that it will impact. ALWAYS. Occasionally, however, God somehow steps in and changes me in the process. I was, for some unknown reason, more nervous this year.... actually afraid is more accurate. I was afraid of saying the wrong lines, getting the scene mixed up... and a big source of my anxiety were my SHOES!!
I couldn't find any nice shoes that would compliment my outfit, and so I decided on a pair that were a gift, yet a bit too big. Being as high as they were and a bit too big, I was nervous about falling or stepping out of them onstage. Nothing happened, and my dignity is intact, but as I ponder about the shoes I realized that there is an underlying lesson to be had.
I found, more than other years, that I TRULY had to turn it all over to God. A few months ago, I had an incredible realization about the equipping of God. In a Joyce Meyer podcast, I was reminded so clearly that "what God calls you to, He also equips you for". Backstage, waiting for my cues, I would breath deeply and remind myself that everything was in God's hands. I was not responsible for the people's salvation, I was simply called to do my part.
The more focused I became on that reality the stronger I felt, and the more at peace I became. There are a few things that God is calling me to in the next season of my life where this truth needs to be drilled right down into the depths of my until it rests in the marrow of my bones. I will have no other option than to rely solely on the equipping of God.
This was a truth that needed to be embraced quickly because of the immediate and very public nature of what I was called to do, but it served as a wonderful reminder for everyday.
Stay tuned for more about the shoes!!
When you are in your 3rd year of playing the same role, the focus of energy moves away from remembering the lines, to finding depths beyond the words-finding a new way to communicate them. We perform it 3 times, and every time there is a different experience. God comes in and takes over and I feel the differences in the words and meanings. It is like God tailor makes each experience for each audience. We as the cast are just along for the ride.
The reason we do it, is ALWAYS about the lives that it will impact. ALWAYS. Occasionally, however, God somehow steps in and changes me in the process. I was, for some unknown reason, more nervous this year.... actually afraid is more accurate. I was afraid of saying the wrong lines, getting the scene mixed up... and a big source of my anxiety were my SHOES!!
I couldn't find any nice shoes that would compliment my outfit, and so I decided on a pair that were a gift, yet a bit too big. Being as high as they were and a bit too big, I was nervous about falling or stepping out of them onstage. Nothing happened, and my dignity is intact, but as I ponder about the shoes I realized that there is an underlying lesson to be had.
I found, more than other years, that I TRULY had to turn it all over to God. A few months ago, I had an incredible realization about the equipping of God. In a Joyce Meyer podcast, I was reminded so clearly that "what God calls you to, He also equips you for". Backstage, waiting for my cues, I would breath deeply and remind myself that everything was in God's hands. I was not responsible for the people's salvation, I was simply called to do my part.
The more focused I became on that reality the stronger I felt, and the more at peace I became. There are a few things that God is calling me to in the next season of my life where this truth needs to be drilled right down into the depths of my until it rests in the marrow of my bones. I will have no other option than to rely solely on the equipping of God.
This was a truth that needed to be embraced quickly because of the immediate and very public nature of what I was called to do, but it served as a wonderful reminder for everyday.
Stay tuned for more about the shoes!!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
2 faces of me.
I had a goal. 13 months, 17 days ago, I had began a program that I was praying was going to change my life. For many years, I was unhappy with my weight, and I never felt like I could successfully do anything about it. I tried to follow diets and programs but none ever lasted more that about 4 hours. For those who have ever had something in your life you just couldn't conquer, you know what it is like to have a dream in your heart but no capacity to hope for a change. That is where I was.
One day, I decided that I needed to stop eating the way I was eating or I had to just suck up the reality that my poor choices were resulting in a body that I didn't want. It came to the point where I just had to forget about hoping or justifying or planning, I simply gave up on diets and fads. I realized that I had to 'own' what I was doing to myself. Either way, I had to stop beating myself up over and over and over again for the same issues. Mostly I had to just admit that no matter how 'good' it was to go to the gym, it didn't make me feel good, and everytime I DIDN'T go I felt worse about myself.
For a year, I stopped paying attention to what I was doing, and more than that I stopped beating myself up about it. There was no majic pill, no change in circumstances, and no moment waiting just around the corner that would transform me miraculously into the size 6 supermodel I thought I wanted to be. Instead of beating myself up about it, all I did was become a student of myself-my feelings, my reactions, my interactions with the world around me. I tried very hard not to sugar coat what I was thinking and feeling.
Toward the end of that 'observation period' I realized that I was actually pretty proud of the PERSON I had become, I watched as I became thoughful, loyal friend, and a chaser of God. I found that the shape my body was in was changing my personality, and I didn't like that, but I was able to differentiate what I looked like from who I was.
In January of '07, I was watching TV and saw an ad for a weightloss program that a friend had found great success with. It just seemed RIGHT. There was an inevitability about the situation that directed me.
13 months and 17 days later I have achieved my original goal of 50 pounds lost.
As you can imagine, this has changed my life. Surprisingly though, it hasn't had the profound internal impact that I always though weight loss would. I KNOW that if I hadn't dealt with the mechanic of eating separatly from how I felt about myself, I never would have succeeded. Although there are a lot of changes in my life that have been the result of the weightloss, it hasn't actually changed much of WHO I am. I am still that same person I was before-who I was proud to be before, just now the outside is less burdensome to carry around.
So often when we are attempting to make drastic changes in our lives, we confuse the activity we are trying to change with the person that we are.
Here is a quick side-by-side to give you an idea.....
Friday, March 14, 2008
Preparation Time Part 4
...Continued from Part 3
God had a plan to get me ready and in position to step into the destiny that he has called me to. God knew what it would take to bring me to a place of total surrender…. Through this process I have discovered: 1) Only I am qualified to define my strengths 2) God has placed in me a really good sense of what is right for me 3) I need ‘hands on’ direct access to the things of God. 4) No matter what God is calling you to… no matter how long it takes to get you there, He is daily invested in propelling you toward your destinyWhen God is in control, it is always His way and timeline…..
Imagine Esther, one day she is an orphan living with her uncle, one year later, she is the queen of a great nation. There are so many times that God calls us to something bigger our lives, yet our thinking and our identity holds us back. We think like an orphan when God is calling us to be a queen. We need to change the way we think about ourselves in order to fulfill what God is calling us to.
This is not an easy feat, however I have found that steeping myself in the things of God, has the natural result of changing your heart and mind without even trying. Is this is what God referrs to when He says "seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you."?
Occasionally, I find surprise myself by doing something, or thinking in a different way than I
used to.
Go, be the Esther God is calling you to be!
God had a plan to get me ready and in position to step into the destiny that he has called me to. God knew what it would take to bring me to a place of total surrender…. Through this process I have discovered: 1) Only I am qualified to define my strengths 2) God has placed in me a really good sense of what is right for me 3) I need ‘hands on’ direct access to the things of God. 4) No matter what God is calling you to… no matter how long it takes to get you there, He is daily invested in propelling you toward your destinyWhen God is in control, it is always His way and timeline…..
Imagine Esther, one day she is an orphan living with her uncle, one year later, she is the queen of a great nation. There are so many times that God calls us to something bigger our lives, yet our thinking and our identity holds us back. We think like an orphan when God is calling us to be a queen. We need to change the way we think about ourselves in order to fulfill what God is calling us to.
This is not an easy feat, however I have found that steeping myself in the things of God, has the natural result of changing your heart and mind without even trying. Is this is what God referrs to when He says "seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you."?
Occasionally, I find surprise myself by doing something, or thinking in a different way than I
used to.
Go, be the Esther God is calling you to be!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Preparation Time Part 3
.... continued from Part 2
I sat. I waited and just ‘was’. There were questions, from those around me-from concerned parents who worried as time went on. I didn’t know what God was up to, but I knew that He was in control. Occasionally God would take the time to remind me that I was in a 52 week process.
In December, one night, I couldn’t sleep, I was just lying awake ‘processing’. This is the term that I use when I am going over and over all the loose ends in my head, attempting to look at them from different angles to see where they might fit together, or where God might be leading.
I began to realize that what I really wanted to do was to go back to school. I didn’t know how that was going to happen, or when, but it became my focus to find a way. A number of options were weighed and discarded. Finally, the I had an idea. It fit with all the objectives I had set out, it made sense, it was multi-purposed, and it was JUST enough beyond my ability that I would have to rely completely on God! As time went on, I began to do the background research to find out what was going to be possible and what was not.
January came along, and we began the series in our lifegroup "Now discover your strengths". Everything that I had been working through I KNOW that I KNOW was needed to set the stage for “trombone player wanted”. The breakthrough moment of this series was when Marcus said that ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR STRENGTHS ARE.
All my life, I have allowed people to speak into my life and have defined my actions with what they said. I have on a couple of different occasions, wanted to change my career, hand I did what all the self-help books said to do…. I asked people who are successful what they saw when they looked at me. Then I chased after that identity, only to be devastated when it didn’t quite fit.
The week of my birthday (January 20th), I was working to define the plan a little more clearly. Using the concepts that we were learning at lifegroup, I spent a long time thinking and praying about what my strengths are, and gradually, it all came into clear focus. By the time the 52nd week came along, I had changed, I don’t mean that I was beginning a plan of changes,…. I HAVE changed.
I can only imagine that Esther could barely recognize herself when she looked in the mirror, I can see her stepping out in a function of royalty only to think to herself “how is it that I am doing this?” I feel that way occasionally….. I find myself doing things I never thought I would…. And LOVING it.
I sat. I waited and just ‘was’. There were questions, from those around me-from concerned parents who worried as time went on. I didn’t know what God was up to, but I knew that He was in control. Occasionally God would take the time to remind me that I was in a 52 week process.
In December, one night, I couldn’t sleep, I was just lying awake ‘processing’. This is the term that I use when I am going over and over all the loose ends in my head, attempting to look at them from different angles to see where they might fit together, or where God might be leading.
I began to realize that what I really wanted to do was to go back to school. I didn’t know how that was going to happen, or when, but it became my focus to find a way. A number of options were weighed and discarded. Finally, the I had an idea. It fit with all the objectives I had set out, it made sense, it was multi-purposed, and it was JUST enough beyond my ability that I would have to rely completely on God! As time went on, I began to do the background research to find out what was going to be possible and what was not.
January came along, and we began the series in our lifegroup "Now discover your strengths". Everything that I had been working through I KNOW that I KNOW was needed to set the stage for “trombone player wanted”. The breakthrough moment of this series was when Marcus said that ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR STRENGTHS ARE.
All my life, I have allowed people to speak into my life and have defined my actions with what they said. I have on a couple of different occasions, wanted to change my career, hand I did what all the self-help books said to do…. I asked people who are successful what they saw when they looked at me. Then I chased after that identity, only to be devastated when it didn’t quite fit.
The week of my birthday (January 20th), I was working to define the plan a little more clearly. Using the concepts that we were learning at lifegroup, I spent a long time thinking and praying about what my strengths are, and gradually, it all came into clear focus. By the time the 52nd week came along, I had changed, I don’t mean that I was beginning a plan of changes,…. I HAVE changed.
I can only imagine that Esther could barely recognize herself when she looked in the mirror, I can see her stepping out in a function of royalty only to think to herself “how is it that I am doing this?” I feel that way occasionally….. I find myself doing things I never thought I would…. And LOVING it.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Preparation Time Part 2
A few months passed and I wasn’t hearing much from God about where I should look for work, or what I was supposed to be doing not only with this time, but with the rest of my life.
I began to see patterns emerging. About every 2 months or so, I would be going along seemingly fine and then crisis would hit. I began to see that each crisis carried with it a major theme.
The first stage was about identity… who am I, I am more than the job title I have, I am a child of Christ, this was to continue to be a recurring theme. The next was about God’s willingness to provide for me. I never doubted His ability, but what about his willingness? After that, I spent a lot of time discovering what Godly femininity is, and some of the barriers in my life toward femininity, next came fitness- my least favourite subject at the time. I intentionally sat and experienced each stage, I chose to be looking for what God was trying to tell me and learn more about His character in the midst of it.
In each stage of this journey, I have had to ruthlessly confront lies that the enemy had sown into my life as the result of a very challenging childhood. For the first time in a long time, I had nothing to distract me. There were just raw, yucky feelings and the pain of confronting hurts that had defined me more than I would ever have thought. It essentially became a 6-month long therapy session…. A little talk-therapy, a lot of tears, a lot of literally just sitting pondering, and I am not gonna lie… a little retail therapy too!!!
In the middle of all this, I needed a career change. I thought, "If I do what I did, I will get what I had, and 5 years from now, I will be in the same situation". This sounds like a great idea, yet, for anyone who has ever tried, it is easier said than done.
In June I made a decision to walk through ANY door that opened-cautiously but wholly. I would step through it. I would explore that until my gut told me otherwise, or until the door closed. It seems like everyone has a suggestion, and I discovered that what people were seeing me doing were the same things that they had always seen me doing. In previous situations I had grasped what people told me they thought I should be doing and put a lot of effort into that career. Except a few months down the road, I hated it or was rotten at. So suddenly I have discovered that what people see in me, I am not good at! It truly caused me to question my identity and worth in moments like that. This time, I realized quickly that none of the suggestions fit with what was in my heart.
So there I was needed money to pay the bills, with no idea where to even begin to look for work, and when I did submit resumes to jobs similar to what I had successfully done in the past, I was turned down. It took a lot to remind myself that I had put this whole process in God’s hands, and I had turned over control to Him.
Stay tuned for Part 3
I began to see patterns emerging. About every 2 months or so, I would be going along seemingly fine and then crisis would hit. I began to see that each crisis carried with it a major theme.
The first stage was about identity… who am I, I am more than the job title I have, I am a child of Christ, this was to continue to be a recurring theme. The next was about God’s willingness to provide for me. I never doubted His ability, but what about his willingness? After that, I spent a lot of time discovering what Godly femininity is, and some of the barriers in my life toward femininity, next came fitness- my least favourite subject at the time. I intentionally sat and experienced each stage, I chose to be looking for what God was trying to tell me and learn more about His character in the midst of it.
In each stage of this journey, I have had to ruthlessly confront lies that the enemy had sown into my life as the result of a very challenging childhood. For the first time in a long time, I had nothing to distract me. There were just raw, yucky feelings and the pain of confronting hurts that had defined me more than I would ever have thought. It essentially became a 6-month long therapy session…. A little talk-therapy, a lot of tears, a lot of literally just sitting pondering, and I am not gonna lie… a little retail therapy too!!!
In the middle of all this, I needed a career change. I thought, "If I do what I did, I will get what I had, and 5 years from now, I will be in the same situation". This sounds like a great idea, yet, for anyone who has ever tried, it is easier said than done.
In June I made a decision to walk through ANY door that opened-cautiously but wholly. I would step through it. I would explore that until my gut told me otherwise, or until the door closed. It seems like everyone has a suggestion, and I discovered that what people were seeing me doing were the same things that they had always seen me doing. In previous situations I had grasped what people told me they thought I should be doing and put a lot of effort into that career. Except a few months down the road, I hated it or was rotten at. So suddenly I have discovered that what people see in me, I am not good at! It truly caused me to question my identity and worth in moments like that. This time, I realized quickly that none of the suggestions fit with what was in my heart.
So there I was needed money to pay the bills, with no idea where to even begin to look for work, and when I did submit resumes to jobs similar to what I had successfully done in the past, I was turned down. It took a lot to remind myself that I had put this whole process in God’s hands, and I had turned over control to Him.
Stay tuned for Part 3
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Preparation Time
Recently, I was privileged to give my testimony at lifegroup. It was so amazing to tell a group what God has been doing in my life. I am posting it over the next little while... here is part 1!
Esther was a beautiful young woman who was chosen to go into the household of the king to be trained and perhaps chosen as his wife. The bible says that she was a woman of incomparable beauty. When she moved into the palace, she underwent 1 year of treatments and training before she could be presented to the king. When she was presented to the king, he found favour with her and she replaced his wife as queen. In the position of queen, she was given the favour she needed to save her whole people group from extinction. You know the story; those are the broad-strokes.
I tell you this story because, in January of 07, I was an overweight, unhappy woman with no joy in my job, and a string of failures with attempting to lose weight. I was single with no prospects, or much hope. Life was pretty bleak in those areas, but I desperately loved the lord and had amazing friends, and I was staying busy with the Lord.
I had just spent more money than I could truly afford to buy into a weigh-loss program that is a year from beginning to end. I was standing in my bathroom doing my hair when a quiet voice broke through and said “52 weeks of preparation” I had just been reading the book of Esther and I knew her story. I knew immediately it was the Lord and said “52 week until WHAT??” My immediate thought of course… went to “A MAN!!!” My heart started beating… I asked…. Until my wedding? Until I meet Him??? and then I got a hold of myself and thought… maybe it is 52 weeks until I am launched into a great new career….
I took a moment to think about all the wondrous possibilities this might relate to and then I gave it to the Lord, and tucked it away. I have learned, that, when dealing with the things of God, he is “above and beyond anything I can ask or imagine”, and I never truly can guess what god has up His sleeve.
On I go about my life…. A job that I hated, but I began to see success with my weight loss.
Fast forward to June, I lost my job. It was one of the inexplicable situations that can only be God taking me out of a situation that was killing my soul one day at a time. Even though I KNEW it was God, it was still crappy!
I decided just after I lost my job, that since this was a circumstance that God had orchestrated, I wanted get as much as I could out of whatever was going to come my way . Passed and I wasn’t hearing much from God about where I should look for work, or what I was supposed to be doing not only with this time, but with the rest of my life.
Esther was a beautiful young woman who was chosen to go into the household of the king to be trained and perhaps chosen as his wife. The bible says that she was a woman of incomparable beauty. When she moved into the palace, she underwent 1 year of treatments and training before she could be presented to the king. When she was presented to the king, he found favour with her and she replaced his wife as queen. In the position of queen, she was given the favour she needed to save her whole people group from extinction. You know the story; those are the broad-strokes.
I tell you this story because, in January of 07, I was an overweight, unhappy woman with no joy in my job, and a string of failures with attempting to lose weight. I was single with no prospects, or much hope. Life was pretty bleak in those areas, but I desperately loved the lord and had amazing friends, and I was staying busy with the Lord.
I had just spent more money than I could truly afford to buy into a weigh-loss program that is a year from beginning to end. I was standing in my bathroom doing my hair when a quiet voice broke through and said “52 weeks of preparation” I had just been reading the book of Esther and I knew her story. I knew immediately it was the Lord and said “52 week until WHAT??” My immediate thought of course… went to “A MAN!!!” My heart started beating… I asked…. Until my wedding? Until I meet Him??? and then I got a hold of myself and thought… maybe it is 52 weeks until I am launched into a great new career….
I took a moment to think about all the wondrous possibilities this might relate to and then I gave it to the Lord, and tucked it away. I have learned, that, when dealing with the things of God, he is “above and beyond anything I can ask or imagine”, and I never truly can guess what god has up His sleeve.
On I go about my life…. A job that I hated, but I began to see success with my weight loss.
Fast forward to June, I lost my job. It was one of the inexplicable situations that can only be God taking me out of a situation that was killing my soul one day at a time. Even though I KNEW it was God, it was still crappy!
I decided just after I lost my job, that since this was a circumstance that God had orchestrated, I wanted get as much as I could out of whatever was going to come my way . Passed and I wasn’t hearing much from God about where I should look for work, or what I was supposed to be doing not only with this time, but with the rest of my life.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Do something for the first time-again!
Do you remember what it was like to do something for the first time? Do you remember what pumping that first tank of gas into your first car was like? I remember paying my first hydro bill 2 years ago when I bought my first house. There is a cool thrill that goes through you when you do something for the first time. I had the amazing privilege of reconnecting with an old family friend last week. As we got caught up on our lives she began to talk about wanting to start writing but not knowing how to go about that. I mentioned Blogging. She started to ask me questions about it and I was telling her about the benefits and the joys of blogging. I told her how nervous I was the first time I pressed "publish post". It got me thinking, how over time, those things that used to give us such a thrill become commonplace and even sometimes drudgery because we do them so much.
When we tap into that feeling again our whole view changes. I am about 80% sure that I will be overseas for 6 months beginning in May or June, and suddenly I am seeing things in my life in a whole different way. I will be living in a self-sustaining environment in the middle east. For security reasons I will not be travelling outside a small area and so I will not likely drive very much. I will be fed in a cafeteria-style location, so I won't be cooking...Things that we take so much for granted I am beginning to see in a whole new light!
More than that though, I have had the most amazing opportunity to disciple a few new Christians. It is so much fun to remember what it was like to be a new Christian. Questions come up like "why is it important that Jesus resurrected?" or "what happens to the babies in Africa who die without hearing the gospel?" These are questions that make you stop and think for a moment. These things that we absorb into our consciousness and sort of forget about. I love hearing them, because it requires me to tap into that foundational information of my faith and it reminds me of the joy of my first love.
Take a moment today and see something you think of mundane, through the eyes of someone who is seeing it for the first time. Remember how it felt on your first day!
When we tap into that feeling again our whole view changes. I am about 80% sure that I will be overseas for 6 months beginning in May or June, and suddenly I am seeing things in my life in a whole different way. I will be living in a self-sustaining environment in the middle east. For security reasons I will not be travelling outside a small area and so I will not likely drive very much. I will be fed in a cafeteria-style location, so I won't be cooking...Things that we take so much for granted I am beginning to see in a whole new light!
More than that though, I have had the most amazing opportunity to disciple a few new Christians. It is so much fun to remember what it was like to be a new Christian. Questions come up like "why is it important that Jesus resurrected?" or "what happens to the babies in Africa who die without hearing the gospel?" These are questions that make you stop and think for a moment. These things that we absorb into our consciousness and sort of forget about. I love hearing them, because it requires me to tap into that foundational information of my faith and it reminds me of the joy of my first love.
Take a moment today and see something you think of mundane, through the eyes of someone who is seeing it for the first time. Remember how it felt on your first day!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Sorrow
Something is in the air. I have experienced it deeply this year, and thought I was alone, but as I speak to others and check in with the friends who have dropped off the radar, I am seeing a trend. It is a trend toward a depressed experience. Some even are starting meds for clinical depression. I am not sure what is happening, there must be something is the 'air'.
Coming into this year, there was a lot of talk about more... more in God, more success, more love within relationships, yet person after person I speak to has been totally and completely sidelined by physical illness or emotional crisis.
When I take a step back and take a poll, I would say that 90% of my closest friends have been 'out of commission' in some form or another at some point in the last 2 months.
This is a year of breakthrough.... we cannot look at our circumstances with natural eyes, we must ask God to show us the super-natural view of things.
In the moments of sorrow and despair, everything within us wants to be alone, we don't want to reach out. But that is exactly what we must do. Recently, I was overcome with a melancholy that couldn't be explained. After a few days went by and things didn't improve, I realized that I needed to reach out. I needed prayer.
I drafted an email to the leaders that I am in close relationship with. Quickly outlining my challenges and asking for prayer. I wept as I drafted the email, it hurt to see my pain on the black and white page. Not only that, it wasn't easy to admit what I was experiencing, I had to fight the lies of the enemy that would say that these woman don't care... or that they had so many 'better'/more important things to worry about. An interesting thing happened... as soon as I pressed "send" the dark cloud I was feeling immediately lifted. When I say IMMEDIATELY... I mean immdiately.. to the point that I almost recalled the email!
In response to this email, I got so many amazingly encouraging words!!!!! How nice to know that people, in the middle of their busy lives, still have the capacity to reach out to a sister in need.
In this time of year, there are lots of people who are feeling alone, hurting and isolated. If that is you, reach out.... keep your eyes open as well for others who might be feeling lonely
Coming into this year, there was a lot of talk about more... more in God, more success, more love within relationships, yet person after person I speak to has been totally and completely sidelined by physical illness or emotional crisis.
When I take a step back and take a poll, I would say that 90% of my closest friends have been 'out of commission' in some form or another at some point in the last 2 months.
This is a year of breakthrough.... we cannot look at our circumstances with natural eyes, we must ask God to show us the super-natural view of things.
In the moments of sorrow and despair, everything within us wants to be alone, we don't want to reach out. But that is exactly what we must do. Recently, I was overcome with a melancholy that couldn't be explained. After a few days went by and things didn't improve, I realized that I needed to reach out. I needed prayer.
I drafted an email to the leaders that I am in close relationship with. Quickly outlining my challenges and asking for prayer. I wept as I drafted the email, it hurt to see my pain on the black and white page. Not only that, it wasn't easy to admit what I was experiencing, I had to fight the lies of the enemy that would say that these woman don't care... or that they had so many 'better'/more important things to worry about. An interesting thing happened... as soon as I pressed "send" the dark cloud I was feeling immediately lifted. When I say IMMEDIATELY... I mean immdiately.. to the point that I almost recalled the email!
In response to this email, I got so many amazingly encouraging words!!!!! How nice to know that people, in the middle of their busy lives, still have the capacity to reach out to a sister in need.
In this time of year, there are lots of people who are feeling alone, hurting and isolated. If that is you, reach out.... keep your eyes open as well for others who might be feeling lonely
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Shocking!!
I was shocked this week as I was looking at some of previews for some of the shows that are scheduled for release in the next few months. I was shocked at 2 specific shows that fly in the face of everything that is good in this world!
The first is a show called Dexter.. as far as I can tell... he is a serial killer who hunts serial killers that the police can't catch. The worst part??? I ACTUALLY for a moment, looked at that and though "that looks soo good!" I would be willing to wager that, through great writing and a handsome actor playing the part, over the course of the season viewers begin to look at Dexter as the 'good guy' and revel in his success at stopping another serial killer.
The second is a show is about a bigamist with 3 wives and multiple kids. Think for a moment how funny that might be.... if I wasn't sooo sad. We have come a long way in 2 generations with what we will allow to be shown in primetime.
I am reminded of the big deal that Will & Grace was when it first came out, there was an outrage that gay humour would be so prevalent. We were told that it would have no effect... it was afterall, just a TV show. But look now, not to many years later what is being aired with NO controversy!!!
The advocates of same-sex marriage would have us believe that there is nothing wrong if a few people want to have their alternate lifestyle commemorated. They also laughed at the idea that it would open the door to all types of realtionships that we don't want in society, including bigamy.
Is this another case of life imitating art? That as a society we become numbed to the issues if they are spoon-fed to us as humour on TV???
The first is a show called Dexter.. as far as I can tell... he is a serial killer who hunts serial killers that the police can't catch. The worst part??? I ACTUALLY for a moment, looked at that and though "that looks soo good!" I would be willing to wager that, through great writing and a handsome actor playing the part, over the course of the season viewers begin to look at Dexter as the 'good guy' and revel in his success at stopping another serial killer.
The second is a show is about a bigamist with 3 wives and multiple kids. Think for a moment how funny that might be.... if I wasn't sooo sad. We have come a long way in 2 generations with what we will allow to be shown in primetime.
I am reminded of the big deal that Will & Grace was when it first came out, there was an outrage that gay humour would be so prevalent. We were told that it would have no effect... it was afterall, just a TV show. But look now, not to many years later what is being aired with NO controversy!!!
The advocates of same-sex marriage would have us believe that there is nothing wrong if a few people want to have their alternate lifestyle commemorated. They also laughed at the idea that it would open the door to all types of realtionships that we don't want in society, including bigamy.
Is this another case of life imitating art? That as a society we become numbed to the issues if they are spoon-fed to us as humour on TV???
An idea with a heartbeat ceases to be black and white!
There are many things that as Christians we talk about in very strong terms. Mostly they are issues of sin, and should have a strong stand taken against. Life though is not quite as cut and dry as that. We talk about smoking and addiction as being so horrific, and disgusting, but then someone we know and love begins to struggle with this. Suddenly, there is a hearbeat attached to this idea, suddenly it is not so black and white.
Homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord..... except a distant relative comes out of the closet....it has a heartbeat... suddenly not so black and white.
It is very difficult as Christians, when we are faced with situations that we feel so strongly about but that impact people we love. It would be much 'safer', much easier if we could move to a moutaintop and not have to face these things. But God hasn't called us to a mountain top... he has called us to the people all around us, our neighbours. We are called to love them with the love of Christ,
Recently, some people who love me very much and who have my very best interest at heart, have come to the conclusion that they have found an incredible guy that I should get to know. they are so convinced of this fact that they are lobbying others in my life to get on side with them. The problem?... he is not a Christian. These are the type of people who, if I brought a non-Christian that they didn't know and introduced him as someone I was spending time with, there would be reproaches and reminders that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers..... yet.... they know this person.... he has a heartbeat... and so things are grey!
I made a decision a number of years ago, that in order to be who God is calling me to be, and to live my life totally passionately on fire with God, I would not marry anyone who is not a Christian, not only that, they have to be at least a mature in the faith as I am. At the time.... this decision was heralded as the best thing I could possibly do.....
Now, however, when I remind these amazing people of my decision, I get some strange responses... "but he can learn to love Jesus".... or "what if you are the person who will bring him to God"...... these responses were so surprising to me, that I began to question my own stand. Then I got cranky!
I am not waivering in this. If this is truly the guy God has for me.... it is HIS job to call him, draw him and equip him to lead us as a couple.... unless that happens.... there is no grey area!! "But he is soo close to being exactly what you want!!" they say! My response?? Have you ever looked at a globe?? Japan and the US look CLOSE.... they are only about 2 inches away.... but in the reality they are worlds apart! Close isn't good enough!
It is a good reminder though... to have grace for people's stuff.... there is a heartbeat attached! Everyone that we love is dealing with issues that would cause us to question our black and white stands on things...
It is, as well, a good reminder that there are some things that I cannot afford to compromise on....
Homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord..... except a distant relative comes out of the closet....it has a heartbeat... suddenly not so black and white.
It is very difficult as Christians, when we are faced with situations that we feel so strongly about but that impact people we love. It would be much 'safer', much easier if we could move to a moutaintop and not have to face these things. But God hasn't called us to a mountain top... he has called us to the people all around us, our neighbours. We are called to love them with the love of Christ,
Recently, some people who love me very much and who have my very best interest at heart, have come to the conclusion that they have found an incredible guy that I should get to know. they are so convinced of this fact that they are lobbying others in my life to get on side with them. The problem?... he is not a Christian. These are the type of people who, if I brought a non-Christian that they didn't know and introduced him as someone I was spending time with, there would be reproaches and reminders that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers..... yet.... they know this person.... he has a heartbeat... and so things are grey!
I made a decision a number of years ago, that in order to be who God is calling me to be, and to live my life totally passionately on fire with God, I would not marry anyone who is not a Christian, not only that, they have to be at least a mature in the faith as I am. At the time.... this decision was heralded as the best thing I could possibly do.....
Now, however, when I remind these amazing people of my decision, I get some strange responses... "but he can learn to love Jesus".... or "what if you are the person who will bring him to God"...... these responses were so surprising to me, that I began to question my own stand. Then I got cranky!
I am not waivering in this. If this is truly the guy God has for me.... it is HIS job to call him, draw him and equip him to lead us as a couple.... unless that happens.... there is no grey area!! "But he is soo close to being exactly what you want!!" they say! My response?? Have you ever looked at a globe?? Japan and the US look CLOSE.... they are only about 2 inches away.... but in the reality they are worlds apart! Close isn't good enough!
It is a good reminder though... to have grace for people's stuff.... there is a heartbeat attached! Everyone that we love is dealing with issues that would cause us to question our black and white stands on things...
It is, as well, a good reminder that there are some things that I cannot afford to compromise on....
The Next Step
continued from "It's Decision Time"
I am not so naiive as to believe that I have the WHOLE picture figured out. In times of major upheavel in my life, often God uses bait on a hook to get me to follow in the path He has laid out for me. Kind of like a carrot on a stick.
I am someone who needs the 'back story'. I like to understand the significance of situations because I know that nothing - especially with God- is just one sided. I also know that God almost never reveals the whole story at one time. I think that God has a cool way of bringing me into alignment with His purposes. Here an example of what that has looked like in my life.
God will bring a guy along my path. This guy will be great and will cause me to question things about myself, my beliefs and what I want out of life. My heart is the bait and the guy is the catalyst for change. Through the self-reflection that always occurs when a new guy is on the horizon, I learn something about myslef, and about God. I will come to new conclusions and be better for the experience. The guy will fade off into the distance (and probably marry a good friend) and I am left better than when it all started. I cannot tell you the number of times this has happened in my life. In the midst of the circumstances God 'allows' me to build a story that keeps me invested.
Recently, God has knit my heart to a certain people group. As my passion for that people group grew, I began to look for opportunities to work with that people group. From there, I began to research what qualifications would be needed to impact this people group. I have come to the conclusion that I need to go back to school and get a degree. As I have studied and researched what that would take to go back to school, God has rewritten the story. What I initially thought I would be doing, is not likely what I will end up with, but it has created in me a desire to go back to school, but in order to do that, I will likely end up working with that people group in a different capacity....... whew did that make any sense??
So, I am simply walking out the next step in anticipation of the end result. I am excited about what I believe is coming next and as soon as I have any information I can share..... I know that you will be excited too!
I am not so naiive as to believe that I have the WHOLE picture figured out. In times of major upheavel in my life, often God uses bait on a hook to get me to follow in the path He has laid out for me. Kind of like a carrot on a stick.
I am someone who needs the 'back story'. I like to understand the significance of situations because I know that nothing - especially with God- is just one sided. I also know that God almost never reveals the whole story at one time. I think that God has a cool way of bringing me into alignment with His purposes. Here an example of what that has looked like in my life.
God will bring a guy along my path. This guy will be great and will cause me to question things about myself, my beliefs and what I want out of life. My heart is the bait and the guy is the catalyst for change. Through the self-reflection that always occurs when a new guy is on the horizon, I learn something about myslef, and about God. I will come to new conclusions and be better for the experience. The guy will fade off into the distance (and probably marry a good friend) and I am left better than when it all started. I cannot tell you the number of times this has happened in my life. In the midst of the circumstances God 'allows' me to build a story that keeps me invested.
Recently, God has knit my heart to a certain people group. As my passion for that people group grew, I began to look for opportunities to work with that people group. From there, I began to research what qualifications would be needed to impact this people group. I have come to the conclusion that I need to go back to school and get a degree. As I have studied and researched what that would take to go back to school, God has rewritten the story. What I initially thought I would be doing, is not likely what I will end up with, but it has created in me a desire to go back to school, but in order to do that, I will likely end up working with that people group in a different capacity....... whew did that make any sense??
So, I am simply walking out the next step in anticipation of the end result. I am excited about what I believe is coming next and as soon as I have any information I can share..... I know that you will be excited too!
It's Decision Time
I have some decisions to make. They are career related and time sensitive. This has brought me to another level of 'messy living'. It is tough to weigh all the pros and cons of a decision, then put if through the filter of mortgage payments, church commitments and roots, as well as family pulls, and friendships. Then to top it all off... there is that pesky thing called God's will.
Although I put God's will last on the list, it actually takes complete precedence in my decision-making. It doesn't matter what else is going on, if God says "NO" than the answer is NO!
What happens though, when there seems to be no direct instruction???
Last week at lifegroup, we watched a video in the series called "Trombone Player Wanted" and there was a life-changing idea put forth. The idea that I am the person who is best qualified to know my own strengths. WOW.... I have been looking for the input from others to learn what my strengths are. But this moment in time freed me to begin to define what my strengths are. It empowered me to begin to own who I am.
We are kind of afraid in Christianity of the word "empowered". I think especially as women any strong language about power and self smacks of rebellion and a lack of meekness.
I have begun to realize that God has given me the responsibility to be able to confidently stand in a moment and to say 'that is not my strength'. Jesus gently rebuked his mother when she was pressuring him to do something about the lack of wine at the wedding feast- he said it was not his time. There was no apology and no justification. As you know, in that moment though, there was also compassion and he instructed the servants to fill the canteens with water and when they were poured out, they were of the best wine.
So what do you do when there are open doors but no direct instructions?
In the Old Testament God often gave the Israelites specific instructions regarding what they were to do to overcome their enemies. Other times though, he told them to do what was in their hearts to do.
I think that when your heart is in communication with God, and your life is surrendered, there are moments when He allows us to make decisions that seem right to us. I never want to be out of the will of God, yet sometimes it seems like the heavens are silent. I know that God is always speaking, yet there are no specifics. In these moments, I try to make the wisest choice I can, and then begin to step through the open door of my choosing. Always with one ear cocked toward heaven to hear new instructions. There can be a tendancy, in our lives to do nothing unless we hear otherwise. I have been in that season. I know that it was what God was calling me to for that time. I have learned so much about waiting on God, about trusting Him and knowing that He has the path already set up.
It is however, scary to begin to step out into something new. I have been praying a slightly different prayer of late it is "OK Jesus, I know that is you walking on the waves... everything within me yearns to get out of the boat and walk with you, so unless you tell me not to, I am coming."
There is an echo of the enemy who would try and tell me that is rebellious, and that no instruction is a passive instruction..... but guess what! I have to take ownership of my walk. It is fully surrendered, yet I am the steward of what God has called me to do. If I am not moving forward, I am not in obedience.
I have to trust that my heart is open to His leading and guiding and that He knows me well enough to communicate with me any changes in the game plan.
I will take the next step that God is calling me to......
Although I put God's will last on the list, it actually takes complete precedence in my decision-making. It doesn't matter what else is going on, if God says "NO" than the answer is NO!
What happens though, when there seems to be no direct instruction???
Last week at lifegroup, we watched a video in the series called "Trombone Player Wanted" and there was a life-changing idea put forth. The idea that I am the person who is best qualified to know my own strengths. WOW.... I have been looking for the input from others to learn what my strengths are. But this moment in time freed me to begin to define what my strengths are. It empowered me to begin to own who I am.
We are kind of afraid in Christianity of the word "empowered". I think especially as women any strong language about power and self smacks of rebellion and a lack of meekness.
I have begun to realize that God has given me the responsibility to be able to confidently stand in a moment and to say 'that is not my strength'. Jesus gently rebuked his mother when she was pressuring him to do something about the lack of wine at the wedding feast- he said it was not his time. There was no apology and no justification. As you know, in that moment though, there was also compassion and he instructed the servants to fill the canteens with water and when they were poured out, they were of the best wine.
So what do you do when there are open doors but no direct instructions?
In the Old Testament God often gave the Israelites specific instructions regarding what they were to do to overcome their enemies. Other times though, he told them to do what was in their hearts to do.
I think that when your heart is in communication with God, and your life is surrendered, there are moments when He allows us to make decisions that seem right to us. I never want to be out of the will of God, yet sometimes it seems like the heavens are silent. I know that God is always speaking, yet there are no specifics. In these moments, I try to make the wisest choice I can, and then begin to step through the open door of my choosing. Always with one ear cocked toward heaven to hear new instructions. There can be a tendancy, in our lives to do nothing unless we hear otherwise. I have been in that season. I know that it was what God was calling me to for that time. I have learned so much about waiting on God, about trusting Him and knowing that He has the path already set up.
It is however, scary to begin to step out into something new. I have been praying a slightly different prayer of late it is "OK Jesus, I know that is you walking on the waves... everything within me yearns to get out of the boat and walk with you, so unless you tell me not to, I am coming."
There is an echo of the enemy who would try and tell me that is rebellious, and that no instruction is a passive instruction..... but guess what! I have to take ownership of my walk. It is fully surrendered, yet I am the steward of what God has called me to do. If I am not moving forward, I am not in obedience.
I have to trust that my heart is open to His leading and guiding and that He knows me well enough to communicate with me any changes in the game plan.
I will take the next step that God is calling me to......
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Your Awakening
I got this poem by email and loved it. There are some amazing nuggets of truth in there... and some things to dismiss... but overall this is amazing. More than that... it is the best explanation I have been able to come up with for this stage in my life.
A time comes in your life when you finally get it....
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity youstop dead in your tracks and somewhere the the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your AWAKENING.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waitingfor something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (orbeginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of"happily ever after" must begin with YOU and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that is OK...they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they meanor mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety &security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself andthe world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should lookand how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive,how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage,the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go withyour instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about LOVE. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is withlove...and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely...And that you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 2 or a perfect10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stackup."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feeling aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectlyOK...and that it is your right to want things and toask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the one who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple.And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and play. You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve...and that much of life is truly a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working to make it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a rock of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in it's most primal state - the EGO. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in manyof the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
~By Sonny Carroll~
Nothing to say!
I have been, of late, a little frustrated and annoyed at myself for not blogging more. More than that, though I worry that there is so little movement in my life that there is nothing to blog about. But when I take a step back and really look at what is happening, I see that there is SO much going on that this meduim almost doesn't give it justice.
It is a strange situation to be in. I half expect that the next time I look in the mirror, dramatic and remarkable changes will be visible, because that is how I feel on the inside. I am not talking about a nose-job to fix a little bump that is only visible under instense scrutiny... I am talking about extreme makeover-type renovations.
This past few months has been quite the process as God takes me through a process of drilling down on certain lies, foundational truths, ascpects of my identity, and calling. It has been a total Demo and rebuild.
The things that I thought before I no longer think- about myself, about God, about my place in the world. I feel like I am truly becoming more of what God has made me to be. I started out looking for a new job...... one that will fill the days and pay the bills. What I have in my heart now though is a 10-year plan including a pretty dramatic career change, adventure, and a coming-home of sorts into a career that I have been running from.
If you have ever done household renovations, you will know that it is more costly, but actually quite a bit easier to gut out the whole place than to work within the confines of the framework you already have. When you begin with the framework already in place, or structural demands (the staircase cannot move), you are limited in what can truly and fundamentally change, but when you are starting from scratch.... the possibilities are endless.
As things solidify and the path is more clear, I want to share what has been happening... in the meantime though, I have to figure out a way to communicate these changes more effectively so that those around me can respond to them.
How do you communicate the inner changes that you are experiencing?
It is a strange situation to be in. I half expect that the next time I look in the mirror, dramatic and remarkable changes will be visible, because that is how I feel on the inside. I am not talking about a nose-job to fix a little bump that is only visible under instense scrutiny... I am talking about extreme makeover-type renovations.
This past few months has been quite the process as God takes me through a process of drilling down on certain lies, foundational truths, ascpects of my identity, and calling. It has been a total Demo and rebuild.
The things that I thought before I no longer think- about myself, about God, about my place in the world. I feel like I am truly becoming more of what God has made me to be. I started out looking for a new job...... one that will fill the days and pay the bills. What I have in my heart now though is a 10-year plan including a pretty dramatic career change, adventure, and a coming-home of sorts into a career that I have been running from.
If you have ever done household renovations, you will know that it is more costly, but actually quite a bit easier to gut out the whole place than to work within the confines of the framework you already have. When you begin with the framework already in place, or structural demands (the staircase cannot move), you are limited in what can truly and fundamentally change, but when you are starting from scratch.... the possibilities are endless.
As things solidify and the path is more clear, I want to share what has been happening... in the meantime though, I have to figure out a way to communicate these changes more effectively so that those around me can respond to them.
How do you communicate the inner changes that you are experiencing?
Monday, January 28, 2008
What's the difference
God needs a tool to use to catch our attention. He needs to be able to put His finger on an area of our lives when He wants to walk us through the process of change and growth. As we know, there is always another side to everything in God. The enemy would seek to confuse us and tell us all our faults so that we merely feel condemned. How do we tell the difference?
We talk a lot about the conviction of God and the condemnation of the enemy. How do I tell the difference?
Here is what the Dictionary says:
convict1. to prove or declare guilty of an offense, esp. after a legal trial: to convict a prisoner of a felony. 2. to impress with a sense of guilt. –noun 3.a person proved or declared guilty of an offense.
con·dem·na·tion 1. The act of condemning. The state of being condemned. 2. Severe reproof; strong censure. 3. A reason or occasion for condemning.
When I look at the word "condemnation' it seems to carry with it an implication of value. When a building, for example, is condemned, it is no longer of value. It is beyond hope of repair and the only path to take is to tear the building down, it is considered a danger. A prisoner on their way to their execution is 'condemned'. This is contrasted with 'conviction' which is merely a statement of guilt or innocence. When a person is convicted, most often the plan for punishment also includes a plan for rehabilitation- there is hope for them still. This is a key to understanding the difference.
Jesus never shys away from identifying a guilty party. Look at the woman at the well, Peter, Judas, and the woman caught in adultery, Jesus doesn't overlook the sin in their lives, but His focus always was the way out. We can feel the weight of our guilt, but if it of God there is no condemnation.
Here's what the Bible says:
Romans 8:1 1There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
John 3:17 ForGod did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
As we process through the things that God puts His finger on, there is always HOPE, there is always mercy, and always forgiveness.
We talk a lot about the conviction of God and the condemnation of the enemy. How do I tell the difference?
Here is what the Dictionary says:
convict1. to prove or declare guilty of an offense, esp. after a legal trial: to convict a prisoner of a felony. 2. to impress with a sense of guilt. –noun 3.a person proved or declared guilty of an offense.
con·dem·na·tion 1. The act of condemning. The state of being condemned. 2. Severe reproof; strong censure. 3. A reason or occasion for condemning.
When I look at the word "condemnation' it seems to carry with it an implication of value. When a building, for example, is condemned, it is no longer of value. It is beyond hope of repair and the only path to take is to tear the building down, it is considered a danger. A prisoner on their way to their execution is 'condemned'. This is contrasted with 'conviction' which is merely a statement of guilt or innocence. When a person is convicted, most often the plan for punishment also includes a plan for rehabilitation- there is hope for them still. This is a key to understanding the difference.
Jesus never shys away from identifying a guilty party. Look at the woman at the well, Peter, Judas, and the woman caught in adultery, Jesus doesn't overlook the sin in their lives, but His focus always was the way out. We can feel the weight of our guilt, but if it of God there is no condemnation.
Here's what the Bible says:
Romans 8:1 1There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
John 3:17 ForGod did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
As we process through the things that God puts His finger on, there is always HOPE, there is always mercy, and always forgiveness.
Am I condemned?
We have a lot that God can speak to us in our lives. As Christians there sometimes seems to be such high standards for our daily conduct that sometimes it can be overwhelming to meet them. There are also times when in our lives, a lot needs to change, and there are many aspect that God needs to speak to us about. He puts His finger on something, we try to deal with it and then on to the next thing.
Occasionally though, there are competing voices. In our vulnerability to be open to God's voice, we sometimes can be subjected to the competing voice of the one who would try to destroy us. In the midst of hearing from God about our opportunities for growth there can be a nagging, incidious voice that would mock our pain, lie to us about our future and remind us of the mistakes of the past.
Recently I have made a new friend, I am privileged to call this amazing woman my friend. She is a very new Christian and has a lot of questions. She is thirsty for the truth and wanting to be completely surrendered to God. As we began to speak about the things of God, it became clear that she was SO open to direction and promptings from God and those who are further along in the walk that she was getting tossed to and fro by the 'helpful' words of people around her. She rhymed off a laundry list of things that she needed to 'work on'. I could see on her face and hear in her words that she was feeling the condemnation of too much input from 'loving people'.
There is not a day that goes by that I am not confronted by the LONG detailed list of things that I want to address in my life, but the only way to get through the day and to be successful in what gets dealt with is to just focus on those things that GOD is calling me to focus on.
So how do we tell the difference? More next time.....
Thursday, January 24, 2008
What else can I say?
The Headline Reads "Canadian Killed", and once again, our collective hearts mourn. In the midst of this conflict, though, there IS hope:
"We are making the area more secure, more secure for us and more secure for Afghans, because the Taliban don't make the difference,"said Laroche, commander of Canada's military forces in Afghanistan.
"That's what Canadians are doing, and we won't stop helping the people of Afghanistan."
"That's what Canadians are doing, and we won't stop helping the people of Afghanistan."
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
This will be like that.....
I have posted a couple of times about the story of David, when he spoke to Saul before going against Goliath. He recalls his past achievements-killing a lion and a bear- and says to Saul "this will be like one of those"
As soon as I read that a couple of months ago, I KNEW that it was a significant scripture. I didn't know why or for what purpose, but I knew that it was going to be a changing scripture in my life.
I posted a couple of weeks ago about those experiences, and how I am going to 'enroll' in seminars on killing "bears" and "lions"because I know that there is a Goliath coming in my life that will go beyond my current experience, yet I need to have those experiences to draw on.
A plan is beginning to take shape, but the precursor to this is fitness.
I have begun to work out hardcore with the assistance of a well trained gym employee who has offered her services - and her friendship. In the course of a month and a half, I have gone from saying "I hate the gym" to lying in bed this morning, trying to find an excuse that would over-ride my desire to get up and go!! It is amazing when you begin to share an experience with someone, and you find that you can do much more than you ever thought possible. Somehow, a weight that I didn't think I could lift once, is too light at the end of 3 sets! It doesn't make sense. Each day is another piece of evidence that says... whatever God calls you to, He also equips you for. I can look back to yesterday and remember what I accomplished, and know that I am stronger today than I was yesterday, and I will be stronger tomorrow. The next weight level is another "this will be like that" moment.
Ultimately, I know that this is not a journey toward a weight-lifting title, it is more about the journey than the destination. I am enjoying though, the destruction of the lies of the enemy that have, for so long, kept me from seeing the fullness of my destiny.
Is there a "Goliath" in your life, that you need to be convinced, in God's power, you can overcome?
As soon as I read that a couple of months ago, I KNEW that it was a significant scripture. I didn't know why or for what purpose, but I knew that it was going to be a changing scripture in my life.
I posted a couple of weeks ago about those experiences, and how I am going to 'enroll' in seminars on killing "bears" and "lions"because I know that there is a Goliath coming in my life that will go beyond my current experience, yet I need to have those experiences to draw on.
A plan is beginning to take shape, but the precursor to this is fitness.
I have begun to work out hardcore with the assistance of a well trained gym employee who has offered her services - and her friendship. In the course of a month and a half, I have gone from saying "I hate the gym" to lying in bed this morning, trying to find an excuse that would over-ride my desire to get up and go!! It is amazing when you begin to share an experience with someone, and you find that you can do much more than you ever thought possible. Somehow, a weight that I didn't think I could lift once, is too light at the end of 3 sets! It doesn't make sense. Each day is another piece of evidence that says... whatever God calls you to, He also equips you for. I can look back to yesterday and remember what I accomplished, and know that I am stronger today than I was yesterday, and I will be stronger tomorrow. The next weight level is another "this will be like that" moment.
Ultimately, I know that this is not a journey toward a weight-lifting title, it is more about the journey than the destination. I am enjoying though, the destruction of the lies of the enemy that have, for so long, kept me from seeing the fullness of my destiny.
Is there a "Goliath" in your life, that you need to be convinced, in God's power, you can overcome?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Amazing Night
I had the most amazing night.....In celebration of my birthday this weekend, my mother treated myself and a couple of good friends to a hockey game. Not just any hockey game.... Canadian Forces Appreciation night!
4 of my biggest passions are: Family, friends, Hockey, and the Forces.... what an amazing way to celebrate my birthday! And we won!!
Any opportunity we have to honour those who are willing to do what our Forces do is so special.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
A Husband of My Own
As a single women, I am continually seeking a relationship with God that fills all the needs in my life. I seek Him in the morning for the strength and purpose for the day, I chat with Him throughout the day if I am lonely, have a question, or if He lays someone on my heart. I have learned that, in many situations, that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing that I can do to change the outcomes. Whether it is a friend in need who is making what I think is a poor choice, or the hurt of a friend going through a touch situation.
I really don't like the feeling that there is nothing that I can do to change things, but I know that God can do anything.
There is an intimacy with our relationship that I don't think has eve existed before, I want to do more, be more, and accomplish more for Him, in His strength.
The one thing that God cannot do.... GASP...... is change a tire!
I had a situation this weekend, where I had a completely flat tire, normally I would just call my roadside assistance, but I was on my way to host a 60th birthday party for my dad, and couldn't spare the time to wait! I was fighting the overwhelming feeling that was gathering, and trying to reassess the situation, when I received a phone call from a friend- I happened to be in line at the gas station to see if I could leave my car there for a few hours. I told him that I would be late to meet up with the group and explained the situation.
As we were leaving the gas station, one of the men in line a head of me, turned and said "can I change your tire for you?".
I was shocked that a complete stranger would make an offer like this! I was cold and he was likely on his way somewhere... I, of course, took him up on his offer and began to empty the trunk so that he could get at the spare and the jack. As I began to lift the stuff out of the trunk, he came around and said "let me do that for you, you guys go get warm!!!!" I am getting better at accepting assistance, but I still have a hard time not 'paying' for it by doing as much as I can to limit how much work people actually have to do! My friend Leah, who was with me, also had her car, and so we sat in her car, and got warm while this amazing man changed my tire!!!
As we sat there, watching this complete stranger go so completely out of his way for me, I was overwhelmed at how well God takes care of us! Although God normally doesn't change tires, He did conspire to have that man there, and have that phone call come in, so that I could be assisted... how amazing a husband is that??? He is truly everything that I need...
It is my prayer that this man who so generously bailed us out of trouble would be completely blessed beyond measure this week!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Lions and Bears!!
We all know David was a great king, a warrior and called of God. God anointed David at a young age to be King. We also know that David was a shepherd, he killed a lion and a bear, and then he killed Goliath. Before he went out to fight Goliath, he reminded Saul that he had killed a lion and a bear with his bare hands… he said Goliath “will be like one of those”. David’s faith in God’s ability to protect him came from a life of service to God and his family. While it is always remarkable when someone kills a lion with their bare hands, I wonder if actually killing a lion was really that remarkable. In our lives, where the we never encounter lions or bears, it would be News-worthy, yet, in David’s world, protecting sheep from lions and bears and other predators was part of the daily ‘grind’. While I don’t know in scripture, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that all of David’s brothers had, at one time, killed a lion or a bear, perhaps it was part of the rights of passage, like a young man from a hunting family who bags his first deer!
We look to David’s life, and these events as pre-cursors if you will that show that God’s hand was on his life right from the beginning. We see the greatness in the stories and we all draw the conclusion together that these are “kingly” events. But wait, was it those events which qualified David to be King?
Let’s play a game of “what if?” What if, early in David’s life, he fell out of tree and broke his leg. In those days, he would have been left as a cripple, and not able to kill a lion, or a bear, or even Goliath… would that then have disqualified David from being God’s choice? Is the prerequisite for rule the killing of a giant, a bear and a lion? What about you and I? What about the calls of God that are in our lives that perhaps require skills of us that we have missed out on? We are all crippled in our own ways, life sends us challenges or disappointments that can seem to limit us from the call of God.
In my life, I see the times when I wanted to be able to slay the lion, yet I was held back by my fear of the sheep! I couldn't even do the day to day work that would have opened the door to the greatness of God’s calling.
Does this disqualify me? NOPE! I am realizing though, that I might just have to take a few steps backward and attend some lion killing classes! Then there is the seminar on what to do when a bear comes around! Only when I master those skills can I step into the fullness of what God has. Obviously I am speaking metaphorically! I don’t know exactly what these classes are going to look like, but I am excited!
We look to David’s life, and these events as pre-cursors if you will that show that God’s hand was on his life right from the beginning. We see the greatness in the stories and we all draw the conclusion together that these are “kingly” events. But wait, was it those events which qualified David to be King?
Let’s play a game of “what if?” What if, early in David’s life, he fell out of tree and broke his leg. In those days, he would have been left as a cripple, and not able to kill a lion, or a bear, or even Goliath… would that then have disqualified David from being God’s choice? Is the prerequisite for rule the killing of a giant, a bear and a lion? What about you and I? What about the calls of God that are in our lives that perhaps require skills of us that we have missed out on? We are all crippled in our own ways, life sends us challenges or disappointments that can seem to limit us from the call of God.
In my life, I see the times when I wanted to be able to slay the lion, yet I was held back by my fear of the sheep! I couldn't even do the day to day work that would have opened the door to the greatness of God’s calling.
Does this disqualify me? NOPE! I am realizing though, that I might just have to take a few steps backward and attend some lion killing classes! Then there is the seminar on what to do when a bear comes around! Only when I master those skills can I step into the fullness of what God has. Obviously I am speaking metaphorically! I don’t know exactly what these classes are going to look like, but I am excited!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Oh what a night!!!
There is so much that is amazing about living in community with one another. Recently, I have been taking a group of single women in our church through a study of a book called “Lady-In-Waiting”. It is an amazing book wrapped in the principles of the story of Ruth. It’s focus is on becoming the woman that God wants us to be. As we shared together, grew together and even cried a little together, it was so amazing to see the relationships that came about from this experience. Between 2 events, our entire group spent New Year’s together-what a special treasure to have friends that you can celebrate with.
We wrapped up our time together with a night of Blessing. We invited some amazing “Titus 2” women who would pray and pour into the women. As a group, we were awestruck at the goodness of God, that He would speak to each of the women in such a personal and loving way.
A very unexpected thing came about as a result of this evening. As we were listening to what God would say to each woman, I realized how much I knew about each of the womens’ longings, and desires, and their relationship with God. This is significant because, for the most part, I have known these ladies less than 1 year, yet, I was able to, as they were being spoken to, acknowledge how ‘on’ each word was. What an amazing thing. It made me realize, once again, that longevity doesn’t always equal intimacy, there are people that I have known for years, yet wouldn’t have been able to say the same things!
This is what comes from “doing life together”. There is a quote that says “A friend is someone who you have fun with no matter the activity, but an acquaintance requires an event.”
This is so true, I have friends who I could sit with in an empty room for a couple of hours and say “that was fun”! It is all about Who they are not what we are doing together! I am so happy to have found more ‘friends’! I love it!
We wrapped up our time together with a night of Blessing. We invited some amazing “Titus 2” women who would pray and pour into the women. As a group, we were awestruck at the goodness of God, that He would speak to each of the women in such a personal and loving way.
A very unexpected thing came about as a result of this evening. As we were listening to what God would say to each woman, I realized how much I knew about each of the womens’ longings, and desires, and their relationship with God. This is significant because, for the most part, I have known these ladies less than 1 year, yet, I was able to, as they were being spoken to, acknowledge how ‘on’ each word was. What an amazing thing. It made me realize, once again, that longevity doesn’t always equal intimacy, there are people that I have known for years, yet wouldn’t have been able to say the same things!
This is what comes from “doing life together”. There is a quote that says “A friend is someone who you have fun with no matter the activity, but an acquaintance requires an event.”
This is so true, I have friends who I could sit with in an empty room for a couple of hours and say “that was fun”! It is all about Who they are not what we are doing together! I am so happy to have found more ‘friends’! I love it!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Still sick!
I can't believe that it is already the 8th!!! There is a lot going on, but not much to tell so I haven't really been able to post-that and I am still ill. I have no idea what is going on, but it is taking everything I have just to get through the day!
I tell you that so that you don't think that I have abandoned my blog.....
I tell you that so that you don't think that I have abandoned my blog.....
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Happy New Year
What can you say at the beginning of a new year, a clean slate, yet one where the echos-both good and bad- from the last year, still reverberate in your ears? I am not even sure how to approach this new year. I feel like I need to put the whole world on pause for a month or two and just process what God did in my life last year, and to gain some focus for this year. But obviously that isn't going to happen.
I am still a woman without a direction..... I have purpose and hopes yet I am waiting on God to point to the next step. There are things that I want to accomplish this year, but mostly I just want MORE.... MORE of God, more intimacy with Him. I had planned to start the year with fasting and prayer, and I got a good start but then my body melted down... almost literally. The back pain was so bad, that I didn't even realize that I had bronchitis- although I did wonder how back pain causes a fever! I got medication for the back and it revealed the level of the other illness.
I suppose that can be a metaphor for life, right? We get so caught up in the debilitating pain of what we think God has "done to us" or at the very least "allowed" in our lives that we can miss the reality that we are choking on something else entirely!
I don't think that it is a coincidence that I got sooo sick the same week I had planned to fast. I have found a few times recently that when I feel like God is planning something big, and I am intentional about getting alongside what God is doing, that I will randomly get sick. When I say randomly..... I mean RANDOMLY! I few months ago, everything was great... feeling good, the morning of the encounter weekend, I woke up with a mild fever and a weak feeling. I was determined to be there because I knew what God was going to be doing, so I persevered. I am hesitant to give the enemy too much credit, however, I do think that we need to be alert to his schemes.
I have a sense that this year is going to be huge.. another level of what God did last year. There is an urgency I can't quite explain. Like even now on the 4th of January, I see that in a few weeks it will be Easter, and then May, and then all of a sudden I know that we will be facing another Winter. It is strange that this sense of urgency is combined with a willingness to invest the time into getting something right. If it takes 3 months for the next step, than that is how long it will take. I don't feel like it is a long time. I am not explaining this well.....
I have a feeling that by the end of January there will be a lot more clarity, and that there is something major coming in March.
Hold on tight, it's gonna a 'fun'!!!
I am still a woman without a direction..... I have purpose and hopes yet I am waiting on God to point to the next step. There are things that I want to accomplish this year, but mostly I just want MORE.... MORE of God, more intimacy with Him. I had planned to start the year with fasting and prayer, and I got a good start but then my body melted down... almost literally. The back pain was so bad, that I didn't even realize that I had bronchitis- although I did wonder how back pain causes a fever! I got medication for the back and it revealed the level of the other illness.
I suppose that can be a metaphor for life, right? We get so caught up in the debilitating pain of what we think God has "done to us" or at the very least "allowed" in our lives that we can miss the reality that we are choking on something else entirely!
I don't think that it is a coincidence that I got sooo sick the same week I had planned to fast. I have found a few times recently that when I feel like God is planning something big, and I am intentional about getting alongside what God is doing, that I will randomly get sick. When I say randomly..... I mean RANDOMLY! I few months ago, everything was great... feeling good, the morning of the encounter weekend, I woke up with a mild fever and a weak feeling. I was determined to be there because I knew what God was going to be doing, so I persevered. I am hesitant to give the enemy too much credit, however, I do think that we need to be alert to his schemes.
I have a sense that this year is going to be huge.. another level of what God did last year. There is an urgency I can't quite explain. Like even now on the 4th of January, I see that in a few weeks it will be Easter, and then May, and then all of a sudden I know that we will be facing another Winter. It is strange that this sense of urgency is combined with a willingness to invest the time into getting something right. If it takes 3 months for the next step, than that is how long it will take. I don't feel like it is a long time. I am not explaining this well.....
I have a feeling that by the end of January there will be a lot more clarity, and that there is something major coming in March.
Hold on tight, it's gonna a 'fun'!!!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
A little at a time
At the end of each year, I have compiled my Blog posts into one big document so that if something happens with the website, or just so that I can see the sum total of my effort.
To date, my blog entries make up 151 pages at 12 point font and contain 63310 words! Isn't that crazy. I suppose that it just goes to show you what can be done with consistency. Many blog posts are less than a page.
I am working on a project where I will need to choose 2 or 3 of the 'best'from this year.....
Any suggestions?
To date, my blog entries make up 151 pages at 12 point font and contain 63310 words! Isn't that crazy. I suppose that it just goes to show you what can be done with consistency. Many blog posts are less than a page.
I am working on a project where I will need to choose 2 or 3 of the 'best'from this year.....
Any suggestions?
Amazing God
We serve an amazing God!
For Christmas I recieved the BBC's Series called Planet Earth. It is amazingly shot and beautifully put together. There are stories of animals that I didn't even know existed!!!
While watching each episode, I am amazed by the creativity and overwhelming plan of our Creator. I am reminded that He takes care of all of our needs.
For Christmas I recieved the BBC's Series called Planet Earth. It is amazingly shot and beautifully put together. There are stories of animals that I didn't even know existed!!!
While watching each episode, I am amazed by the creativity and overwhelming plan of our Creator. I am reminded that He takes care of all of our needs.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Just for Fun
So I have been asked a number of times this year about who I would like to smooch under the mistle-toe. I always have a hard time choosing, because I am not one to smooch just anyone. Lori asked for ONE person but, since its Christmas, and its MY BLOG, and I make the rules... AND because there is no one in my life to offend with this, I have a LIST (plus I couldn't just pick one.... the world is my Oyster. Enjoy
All of them are my favourites for different reasons and in different seasons...
I will let you figure out which one I am referring to here!!
A delectible selection don't you think??? Hope, I KNOW that you like the baldies!
In doing this exercise, I may have discovered something about my "type" I didnt think that I had one, but... maybe I do!! I am sure that there are many many many who should be on this list but who have escaped my thinking but this is a good start!!
If it was....
If you knew this was going to be your last Christmas, what would be most important aspects that you would insist were present? What about if you knew someone you loved wouldn't celebrate another? What then?
I suppose it is a melancholy question for such a wonderful time of year, however, we are a nation involved in conflicts around the world, and not everyone has the luxury of oblivious abandon assuming that this is going to be like every other Christmas, and that there will be many more.
Statistics would likely tell us that at least one of the people who reads this post will experience some sort of loss between now and Christmas 2008. I wonder, as we go into this day, would you be happy with the memories you made?
This hits particularly close to home this year as a few people I know are preparing to deploy to Afghanistan next August, the reality is that they will not be home next Christmas, and as hard as we pray, and as much as we hope, it is also possible that this could be their last Christmas. I wonder if they are doing anything differently this year? A friend of mine told me that his whole family was going to be away this Christmas, it wasn't until later that I wondered if there was more to this trip than just a 'change of pace'.
I ask this not to put a damper on your Christmas celebrations, rather it is my hope that this sobering thought will make you stop for a moment and appreciate all that you have right now.
I challenge you, make a memory this Christmas, one that would be enough to get you through forever.... I would wager a guess that what makes those types of memories is not as much about what sits UNDER the tree, as WHO sits around it.
If you or someone you know is deployed... know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
I suppose it is a melancholy question for such a wonderful time of year, however, we are a nation involved in conflicts around the world, and not everyone has the luxury of oblivious abandon assuming that this is going to be like every other Christmas, and that there will be many more.
Statistics would likely tell us that at least one of the people who reads this post will experience some sort of loss between now and Christmas 2008. I wonder, as we go into this day, would you be happy with the memories you made?
This hits particularly close to home this year as a few people I know are preparing to deploy to Afghanistan next August, the reality is that they will not be home next Christmas, and as hard as we pray, and as much as we hope, it is also possible that this could be their last Christmas. I wonder if they are doing anything differently this year? A friend of mine told me that his whole family was going to be away this Christmas, it wasn't until later that I wondered if there was more to this trip than just a 'change of pace'.
I ask this not to put a damper on your Christmas celebrations, rather it is my hope that this sobering thought will make you stop for a moment and appreciate all that you have right now.
I challenge you, make a memory this Christmas, one that would be enough to get you through forever.... I would wager a guess that what makes those types of memories is not as much about what sits UNDER the tree, as WHO sits around it.
If you or someone you know is deployed... know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
p.s. I KNOW you!
There are few things that render me speechless, one of those things is an intensely emotional experience. Occasionally a movie will be so profound in its emotional storyline, that I need time to process it before I can speak about it. There are those experiences that make you feel like you want to go home, curl up in bed and just cry because you have spent the last few hours holding in the depth of emotions because one just doesn't blubber in public. I had one of those experiences today, I went to see P.S. I Love You. Watch the movie trailer and you will get a pretty good idea about the story.
I usually avoid girly movies like the plague, I find that they are not good for my heart, especially 2 days before Christmas!! I don't need to see another Hollywoodized story about 2 people falling in love. I much prefer the simplicity of men blowing stuff up and saving the world in the process! Somehow though, I found myself agreeing to go with a friend who desperately wanted to see it. The premise of the story is that a woman's husband dies, and after his death she begins to receive letters from him that he has preplanned that walk her through the grieving process and encourage her to get back into life. They are all signed PS, I love you!
Knowing that this might be a hard movie to watch, I began to pray, I prayed that my heart would not be pierced, and that I would be able to see the beauty in the story and hear from God about His love for me and to enjoy the story without taking it home with me- after all its just a movie.
I immediately had an amazing peace about the whole thing-and a realization. I realized that for the last 6 months or so, God has, essentially been walking me through a process of changing my life. Every once in a while, I find myself in obedience, doing something that I never thought I would do, something that God has called me to do. I have been walking this path of rediscovering what life should be, and more than that, WHO God is. In this process there have been moments of grieving the life that I knew, in order to step into what's next; and moments of extreme exhileration as I take on a new challenge; and there are moments of uncertainty but faith in the plan of God. Each of these emotions are encapsulated in the movie. I have never lost a spouse to death, nor have I ever truly fallen in love, but I caught glimpses of my life within the context of the storyline.
There was also a whisper in my ear that He has written me love letters, and He speaks and guides us through. Oftentimes, what hurts the most about being single is not feeling KNOWN, I suppose that the best love stories include some element of KNOWING one another at a level that leaves the rest of the world out......
BUT GOD....
He knows me, there is none who can know me more totally than God.
There were a few points in the story that made me want to blubber, because they were good points in the story, but there were a few moments that were just for me from God.... I just know it.
One of the lines in one of the letters reads something like "When you don't see the best of you, try seeing you through my eyes", wow, imagine if we could see ourselves through God's eyes.
In another scene, she has to sing Karaoke (it's in the trailer) and when she gets up to sing we look over her shoulder into the audience, and the crowd is gone, replaced in her mind with him, just him and she sings just to him. I want so much for EVERYTHING that I do, to be for an audience of One. When you know that someone knows you completely, and it totally on your side, and when you know that your vulnerabilities are safe with them, not only do I think that is the truest love, but I think that you can accomplish ANYTHING....
I suppose that the only One who can completely know us is God, He is the only One who is totally on our side, and only in His hands are we absolutely safe. So, I suppose He is the only choice that makes any sense at all!
I usually avoid girly movies like the plague, I find that they are not good for my heart, especially 2 days before Christmas!! I don't need to see another Hollywoodized story about 2 people falling in love. I much prefer the simplicity of men blowing stuff up and saving the world in the process! Somehow though, I found myself agreeing to go with a friend who desperately wanted to see it. The premise of the story is that a woman's husband dies, and after his death she begins to receive letters from him that he has preplanned that walk her through the grieving process and encourage her to get back into life. They are all signed PS, I love you!
Knowing that this might be a hard movie to watch, I began to pray, I prayed that my heart would not be pierced, and that I would be able to see the beauty in the story and hear from God about His love for me and to enjoy the story without taking it home with me- after all its just a movie.
I immediately had an amazing peace about the whole thing-and a realization. I realized that for the last 6 months or so, God has, essentially been walking me through a process of changing my life. Every once in a while, I find myself in obedience, doing something that I never thought I would do, something that God has called me to do. I have been walking this path of rediscovering what life should be, and more than that, WHO God is. In this process there have been moments of grieving the life that I knew, in order to step into what's next; and moments of extreme exhileration as I take on a new challenge; and there are moments of uncertainty but faith in the plan of God. Each of these emotions are encapsulated in the movie. I have never lost a spouse to death, nor have I ever truly fallen in love, but I caught glimpses of my life within the context of the storyline.
There was also a whisper in my ear that He has written me love letters, and He speaks and guides us through. Oftentimes, what hurts the most about being single is not feeling KNOWN, I suppose that the best love stories include some element of KNOWING one another at a level that leaves the rest of the world out......
BUT GOD....
He knows me, there is none who can know me more totally than God.
There were a few points in the story that made me want to blubber, because they were good points in the story, but there were a few moments that were just for me from God.... I just know it.
One of the lines in one of the letters reads something like "When you don't see the best of you, try seeing you through my eyes", wow, imagine if we could see ourselves through God's eyes.
In another scene, she has to sing Karaoke (it's in the trailer) and when she gets up to sing we look over her shoulder into the audience, and the crowd is gone, replaced in her mind with him, just him and she sings just to him. I want so much for EVERYTHING that I do, to be for an audience of One. When you know that someone knows you completely, and it totally on your side, and when you know that your vulnerabilities are safe with them, not only do I think that is the truest love, but I think that you can accomplish ANYTHING....
I suppose that the only One who can completely know us is God, He is the only One who is totally on our side, and only in His hands are we absolutely safe. So, I suppose He is the only choice that makes any sense at all!
P.S..........
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Global Warming???
Really???
We have had MORE snow this winter already than we had ALL season last year. Here are some pictures of the aftermath of a major storm...
This is my car......
This is my roommate's car
Monday, December 17, 2007
But I thought this was it!
I often get asked the question "How do I know if what I heard was from God or if it was just me?" There are so many circumstances in our lives where in the moment we are certain we "heard from God", and sometimes these things work out and sometimes they don't. When they don't, we just assume that we didn't hear from God.
This summer I had 2 situations in my life, major life-changing situations where I KNEW I heard from God. These were the types of situations where real things were at stake. Those scary moments where the trajectory of your life can change dramatically, and you really don't want to get it wrong.
One of the situations didn't resolve itself in the way that I thought it would based on what I thought I heard, and by proxy, I assumed that I also hadn't heard from God on what really is the more important situation. It threw me into a spin unlike anything I have ever experienced. Talk about a shaking of my faith. Not my faith in God, but my faith in my ability to hear from God-and HONEY! If you shake my faith in my ability to hear from God, I am sunk. Imagine Peter standing on the gunwhale of the boat, preparing to step onto the water and he wonders "what if that isn't Jesus?"
In talking about the suddnelies of God Jay talked about the time in between the promise and the fulfillment. But lets back it up one more step..... how do I know if what I think is from the Lord, and is it a PROMISE???
We have all heard the story that Katie Holmes knew somewhere deep in her heart that she would marry Tom Cruise one day. When they were preparing to get married, this was a romantic tidbit that got everyone's heart pumping, and we all were inspired to dream a little bigger- which is good. But what about the other 100 million women of all ages who have had that same thought (most of them are now singing "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers!), but for whom that obviously didn't come true? If these were Christians, would we say that all the other women didn't hear from God?
In Ottawa there is a certain Christian, single, hockey player who is well known, and at some point in EVERY conversation with every single chrisitan woman, this name comes up, and most of the time if a married friend (usually a husband of a married friend) asks about prospects for me, this person's name ALWAYS comes up. There are literally thousands of women and hundreds of Christian woman who are CONVINCED that they are this guy's future wife. They obviously can't all be right...(Besides, we have claimed him for my friend so the rest can just back off!!)... but they ALL think that they heard from God.
This is just one example of this dilemma. So if we are to base our hope on the promise of God for our lives, how can we know that we know that we know that we have heard from Him in the first place?
This summer I had 2 situations in my life, major life-changing situations where I KNEW I heard from God. These were the types of situations where real things were at stake. Those scary moments where the trajectory of your life can change dramatically, and you really don't want to get it wrong.
One of the situations didn't resolve itself in the way that I thought it would based on what I thought I heard, and by proxy, I assumed that I also hadn't heard from God on what really is the more important situation. It threw me into a spin unlike anything I have ever experienced. Talk about a shaking of my faith. Not my faith in God, but my faith in my ability to hear from God-and HONEY! If you shake my faith in my ability to hear from God, I am sunk. Imagine Peter standing on the gunwhale of the boat, preparing to step onto the water and he wonders "what if that isn't Jesus?"
In talking about the suddnelies of God Jay talked about the time in between the promise and the fulfillment. But lets back it up one more step..... how do I know if what I think is from the Lord, and is it a PROMISE???
We have all heard the story that Katie Holmes knew somewhere deep in her heart that she would marry Tom Cruise one day. When they were preparing to get married, this was a romantic tidbit that got everyone's heart pumping, and we all were inspired to dream a little bigger- which is good. But what about the other 100 million women of all ages who have had that same thought (most of them are now singing "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers!), but for whom that obviously didn't come true? If these were Christians, would we say that all the other women didn't hear from God?
In Ottawa there is a certain Christian, single, hockey player who is well known, and at some point in EVERY conversation with every single chrisitan woman, this name comes up, and most of the time if a married friend (usually a husband of a married friend) asks about prospects for me, this person's name ALWAYS comes up. There are literally thousands of women and hundreds of Christian woman who are CONVINCED that they are this guy's future wife. They obviously can't all be right...(Besides, we have claimed him for my friend so the rest can just back off!!)... but they ALL think that they heard from God.
This is just one example of this dilemma. So if we are to base our hope on the promise of God for our lives, how can we know that we know that we know that we have heard from Him in the first place?
Faith and Hope
Today we had an amazing service despite the brutal weather! Jay preached an amazing message about the suddenlies of God. If there is anything in your life that you are waiting for... download it!
One of the thoughts was about faith, hope, and love.
I got thinking, what is the difference between faith and hope?
The biggest deferred dream of my heart, as you already know, is that of a spouse and family of my own. In the meantime, though, I am working hard to seek first the kingdom of God, and to find a place of contentment. As with anything that you are waiting for, there is a tension between the anticipation, and not letting what is not yet, distract you from what is now. God has a purpose for each day and if we are seduced by the idea of what will happen tomorrow, we will not learn what we need to learn today, and we miss out on so many things in the now. So we walk this tightrope of hope.... or is it faith?
Sometimes in this battle to find the middle ground, I can be very hard on myself. I think sometimes that if there continues to be hope in what is ahead that it means that I am not content in the now. So I have been working to discipline my mind to stay in the now... except it is crippling my ability to dream big dreams but when I dream big dreams... they include the things that I am hoping for.
All that to say that sometimes high hopes can be misinterpreted as lack of faith! Does that make any sense? Almost like, if I trusted God fully, I wouldn't have the need to rely on the hope.
This is one of those things that is going to twist me around for a few days.
Here's the question then....
what is the difference between faith and hope? and how do you balance the two?
One of the thoughts was about faith, hope, and love.
I got thinking, what is the difference between faith and hope?
The biggest deferred dream of my heart, as you already know, is that of a spouse and family of my own. In the meantime, though, I am working hard to seek first the kingdom of God, and to find a place of contentment. As with anything that you are waiting for, there is a tension between the anticipation, and not letting what is not yet, distract you from what is now. God has a purpose for each day and if we are seduced by the idea of what will happen tomorrow, we will not learn what we need to learn today, and we miss out on so many things in the now. So we walk this tightrope of hope.... or is it faith?
Sometimes in this battle to find the middle ground, I can be very hard on myself. I think sometimes that if there continues to be hope in what is ahead that it means that I am not content in the now. So I have been working to discipline my mind to stay in the now... except it is crippling my ability to dream big dreams but when I dream big dreams... they include the things that I am hoping for.
All that to say that sometimes high hopes can be misinterpreted as lack of faith! Does that make any sense? Almost like, if I trusted God fully, I wouldn't have the need to rely on the hope.
This is one of those things that is going to twist me around for a few days.
Here's the question then....
what is the difference between faith and hope? and how do you balance the two?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Like Arsenic
Tonight, I was watching the movie "Amazing Grace" about the British Parliamentarian who worked hard to abolish the slave trade. There was one scene that really caught my heart. Early on in the movie, one of the characters staked a slave in a poker game. Wilberforce was disgusted and walked away from the money he had played already, refusing to be party to such conduct.
As he stepped outside, one of his friends followed and asked about his reaction saying "you've seen slavery before" and Wilberforce's response was "yes, but like arsenic every small dose doubles the effect".
My immediate thought was, "OH God, make that true in my life, that every small dose of something that is repugnant in Your sight has double the negative on my life each time I encounter it."
If we had that response, it wouldn't take long before we stand up and fight for that which is reprehensible to God. I would deal much more ruthlessly with the sin in my life. I want the sin in my heart, and the poor choices I make, to cause illness in my soul, so that there would come a change. It is only when we truly experience sin's stench that we cut it out of our lives.
As he stepped outside, one of his friends followed and asked about his reaction saying "you've seen slavery before" and Wilberforce's response was "yes, but like arsenic every small dose doubles the effect".
My immediate thought was, "OH God, make that true in my life, that every small dose of something that is repugnant in Your sight has double the negative on my life each time I encounter it."
If we had that response, it wouldn't take long before we stand up and fight for that which is reprehensible to God. I would deal much more ruthlessly with the sin in my life. I want the sin in my heart, and the poor choices I make, to cause illness in my soul, so that there would come a change. It is only when we truly experience sin's stench that we cut it out of our lives.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Kings....
1 Samuel 15:17 & 18; 22-23 (English Standard Version)
17And Samuel said, "Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel. 18And the LORD sent you on a mission and said
22And Samuel said, "Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.23For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has also rejected you from being king."
In this passage, Samuel is speaking to Saul. He exhorts Saul to think on a bigger scale. Saul knows that he is the King, yet he fails to act like a king. Is it possible that we are called by God to be kings? We are joint-heirs with the King of Kings, last time I checked that makes us kings and queens.
Is my vision too small?? What has God called me to conquer? What authority have I been given that I have failed to claim? How sad would it be to get to heaven, and have God say, you had the authority to conquer, and yet all you did was to play the part. You didn’t step into the fullness.
The Bible says that we have the authority to cast out demons…. Why are those around me still subject to the bondage of addiction?
The Bible says that we have the authority to speak to mountains and they will be made low…. Why are there mountain ranges in my way called debt, and disease, and bitterness?
The Bible says that we can speak to the blind and they will see, the deaf will hear and the lame will walk… why do family members still not believe, they are blind to God’s love, deaf to His words, and limping from the weapons of the enemy?
What is it going to take for me to stand in the authority that God has given me?
Do you think of yourself as a King?
Do you have a King's purpose?
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thoughts on Mercy
1 Samuel 12:20-25 (English Standard Version)
20And Samuel said to the people, "Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 21And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. 22For the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself. 23Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. 24 Only fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you. 25But if you still do wickedly, you shall be swept away, both you and your king."
What an amazing example of the mercy of God. In the middle of hearing directly from the Lord, the Israelites disobey, and what does God do? He says… you don’t have to perfect to come to me and be my people. Obviously, we need to strive to do what is right, however, God knows that we are going to fail and fall. Sometimes, even our most earnest intentions to do good for God, can lead us astray. In this, Samuel promises to continue to pray for the people of God, he takes upon himself the responsibility to instruct the people of God.
As a person who still has a lot to learn about the things of God, it is nice to know that not only does God not write me off every time I make a dumb decision, but also, He provides for me teachers who will look beyond what they see, to see what God has called them to.
I have been the recipient of so much good teaching, amazing people, mentors, parents, and friends further along in this life, who see my growth and success as something that they are called to invest in. I don’t take their guidance lightly, in fact, I am deeply humbled when someone takes time to guide me.
It becomes then, my turn to pour into those coming up behind. I take on as my responsibility their growth, and their best. How amazing is God, that we don’t need to have everything figured out, in order to be used by Him. We can, simultaneously be both teacher and student.
20And Samuel said to the people, "Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 21And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. 22For the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself. 23Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. 24 Only fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you. 25But if you still do wickedly, you shall be swept away, both you and your king."
What an amazing example of the mercy of God. In the middle of hearing directly from the Lord, the Israelites disobey, and what does God do? He says… you don’t have to perfect to come to me and be my people. Obviously, we need to strive to do what is right, however, God knows that we are going to fail and fall. Sometimes, even our most earnest intentions to do good for God, can lead us astray. In this, Samuel promises to continue to pray for the people of God, he takes upon himself the responsibility to instruct the people of God.
As a person who still has a lot to learn about the things of God, it is nice to know that not only does God not write me off every time I make a dumb decision, but also, He provides for me teachers who will look beyond what they see, to see what God has called them to.
I have been the recipient of so much good teaching, amazing people, mentors, parents, and friends further along in this life, who see my growth and success as something that they are called to invest in. I don’t take their guidance lightly, in fact, I am deeply humbled when someone takes time to guide me.
It becomes then, my turn to pour into those coming up behind. I take on as my responsibility their growth, and their best. How amazing is God, that we don’t need to have everything figured out, in order to be used by Him. We can, simultaneously be both teacher and student.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
How amazing...
I was reading this morning and this caught my heart
1 Samuel 2
Hannah’s Prayer
1And Hannah prayed and said,
"My heart exults in the LORD;
my strength is exalted in the LORD.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.
2 "There is none holy like the LORD;
there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the LORD is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The LORD kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The LORD makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the LORD’s,
and on them he has set the world.
9 "He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The LORD will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his king
and exalt the power of his anointed."
1 Samuel 2
Hannah’s Prayer
1And Hannah prayed and said,
"My heart exults in the LORD;
my strength is exalted in the LORD.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.
2 "There is none holy like the LORD;
there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the LORD is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The LORD kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The LORD makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the LORD’s,
and on them he has set the world.
9 "He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The LORD will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his king
and exalt the power of his anointed."
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
God of the Garden
God's amazing character and love is unfathomable.
It doesn't matter how many times we approach the throne of God, we can never get to a point where we can say "That's it, I know everything about God".
In the Old Testament, God is most often seen as God of the Mountain. He is up away from the masses, speaking to Moses, or in the Tabernacle hidden behind the Veil in the "Holy of Holies"- a place where priests go once per year to commune directly with God. If they have not properly attoned for their sins, they die.This is the power of God. The majestic, awe-inspiring God. This is God of the mountain.
As most of you know, in Genesis, before He was the mountain-dweller, He was God of the Garden. Genesis says that "Adam walked with God in the cool of the day". They chatted like the friends that they were.
I have noticed that some of my closest friends all have something in common. I have walked with them, in the cool of the day, beside a river or a lake, and gotten to know them. Something happens in those moments, as 2 people walk side-by-side, sharing the beauty of creation a bond develops that goes deeper than the average 'coffee talk'.
There are moments in my life with God that are Garden moments. Time to just enjoy one another's presence. One of these "gardens" is the monthly Refuel event that happens at The Life Centre. This is a chance to just get in close to God's heart and worship.
In the past few months, those 'walks in the garden' have developed in me the truest sense I have ever had of my identity in God.
The Old Testament
Recently, I took a course called "Introduction to the Old and New Testaments"
One of the essay questions asks "What have you learned as a result of taking this course?"
Here is part of my answer to that.
I have known all the stories for my whole life, yet to see how they interacted in the big picture of God is so amazing. It gives me another piece of the puzzle of who God is.
Every moment of Scripture is meant to bring us to an understanding of His character. I have never thought of the Old Testament as anything more than some gory stories, a bunch of rules, some poems and a few nuggets in Proverbs, and I often wondered what purpose it all served-apart from setting the groundwork for the “real” story-the New Testament. Now, I see the character of God in the midst of it. I have come to know the character of God in a new way. Recently, in direct relation to what I was learning in this course, I began an aggressive reading schedule for the Bible, starting from Genesis, and for the first time ever, the love story of God calls to me. I am driven to consume it more and more. Something has changed in me!
As I was reading the detailed descriptions of the tabernacle, and what they needed to have done, and what God was instructing, I began to ask Him questions such as: “Lord, why would it matter the order of the stones on the Ephod of the priests, isn’t there more important stuff to worry about?” The response that came was “I am intimately interested in all the ‘mundane’ details of your life, because everything you do is important to me”. He took the time to teach His people everything that they needed to know about how to approach Him. There is a provision for every question that they might have encountered.
I have always known the love of God, but sometimes it has felt as though He is the God of the mountaintop, rather than the God in the garden, seeing the Bible in a new way though, has reminded me of how much work He does to be in relationship with us.
Like errant children He repeatedly gives the Israelite people direct, and specific direction regarding how they are to live, and tells them even how to be successful in their relationship with Him. They repeatedly let him down, but God is merciful, and He goes to them, sends a redeemer, and repeats His commands, and blesses them, and the cycle repeats. In all the times that He threatens to wipe them out, He still manages to find someone who is righteous. He gives use every opportunity to be successful, in the NT Jesus has so much patience with the disciples who walked with Him, and who witnessed the miracles He performed, yet when they doubt, or question, or act rashly, He doesn’t throw up His hands and walk away.
So how does this change me? As with any relationship, the more you know about the character of a person, the better the relationship. When you are talking about the Lover of my Soul, knowing more about His character changes me because it causes me to fall deeper in love with Him. The resulting effect in this case is: the more I know, the more I WANT to know. It has become a catalyst for deeper intimacy with God, and that will change you everyday.
I see more than ever before, the unchanging character of God. Since He was willing to feed a whining people, He will take care of me. Since He saw that in the midst of everything, Job stayed firm, I do not doubt Him in my circumstances. Since He made a way even before the dawn of time, today His grace is enough, and that is life-changing truth.
One of the essay questions asks "What have you learned as a result of taking this course?"
Here is part of my answer to that.
I have known all the stories for my whole life, yet to see how they interacted in the big picture of God is so amazing. It gives me another piece of the puzzle of who God is.
Every moment of Scripture is meant to bring us to an understanding of His character. I have never thought of the Old Testament as anything more than some gory stories, a bunch of rules, some poems and a few nuggets in Proverbs, and I often wondered what purpose it all served-apart from setting the groundwork for the “real” story-the New Testament. Now, I see the character of God in the midst of it. I have come to know the character of God in a new way. Recently, in direct relation to what I was learning in this course, I began an aggressive reading schedule for the Bible, starting from Genesis, and for the first time ever, the love story of God calls to me. I am driven to consume it more and more. Something has changed in me!
As I was reading the detailed descriptions of the tabernacle, and what they needed to have done, and what God was instructing, I began to ask Him questions such as: “Lord, why would it matter the order of the stones on the Ephod of the priests, isn’t there more important stuff to worry about?” The response that came was “I am intimately interested in all the ‘mundane’ details of your life, because everything you do is important to me”. He took the time to teach His people everything that they needed to know about how to approach Him. There is a provision for every question that they might have encountered.
I have always known the love of God, but sometimes it has felt as though He is the God of the mountaintop, rather than the God in the garden, seeing the Bible in a new way though, has reminded me of how much work He does to be in relationship with us.
Like errant children He repeatedly gives the Israelite people direct, and specific direction regarding how they are to live, and tells them even how to be successful in their relationship with Him. They repeatedly let him down, but God is merciful, and He goes to them, sends a redeemer, and repeats His commands, and blesses them, and the cycle repeats. In all the times that He threatens to wipe them out, He still manages to find someone who is righteous. He gives use every opportunity to be successful, in the NT Jesus has so much patience with the disciples who walked with Him, and who witnessed the miracles He performed, yet when they doubt, or question, or act rashly, He doesn’t throw up His hands and walk away.
So how does this change me? As with any relationship, the more you know about the character of a person, the better the relationship. When you are talking about the Lover of my Soul, knowing more about His character changes me because it causes me to fall deeper in love with Him. The resulting effect in this case is: the more I know, the more I WANT to know. It has become a catalyst for deeper intimacy with God, and that will change you everyday.
I see more than ever before, the unchanging character of God. Since He was willing to feed a whining people, He will take care of me. Since He saw that in the midst of everything, Job stayed firm, I do not doubt Him in my circumstances. Since He made a way even before the dawn of time, today His grace is enough, and that is life-changing truth.
Monday, December 03, 2007
With Friends like These
This weekend I was honoured to attend a Christmas party that was hosted out of town. We drove about 2 hours for dinner, and then came back the same night.
I gotta tell you, I wouldn't just drive 4 hours round trip for just anyone. The funny thing was, out of the 20 people that were there, 16 had driven up that day for dinner. They brought their kids, they brought food, and they brought cookie. What is it about this couple that inspires people to be willing to drive all that way?
Their home has such a warmth to it, and a peace within the walls. In spite of the busyness of 20 people including kids, there was never a feeling of crowdedness. At one point, as often happens, everyone was crammed in the kitchen. I LOVE that. We all just found a place sort of out of the way of the pre-dinner prep, and leaned against the wall and chatted. It just felt like HOME.
It was the perfect way to kick off the Christmas season! In everything that I host this season, I want to foster that feeling for my guests and family...
What are you looking forward to most with Christmas coming?
I gotta tell you, I wouldn't just drive 4 hours round trip for just anyone. The funny thing was, out of the 20 people that were there, 16 had driven up that day for dinner. They brought their kids, they brought food, and they brought cookie. What is it about this couple that inspires people to be willing to drive all that way?
Their home has such a warmth to it, and a peace within the walls. In spite of the busyness of 20 people including kids, there was never a feeling of crowdedness. At one point, as often happens, everyone was crammed in the kitchen. I LOVE that. We all just found a place sort of out of the way of the pre-dinner prep, and leaned against the wall and chatted. It just felt like HOME.
It was the perfect way to kick off the Christmas season! In everything that I host this season, I want to foster that feeling for my guests and family...
What are you looking forward to most with Christmas coming?
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