Taking a Sabbatical

I am off on a journey that will take me out of the 'blogging world' for the next 6 months. While I am away, rest assured that I will return... don't take me off your link lists! So, have a great rest of 2008 and see you in the new year!

Redraw the Line

How's this for 'messy' and out there. I lost 50 pounds, and I still feel fat!

Ok here's the story behind the emotion. A year and a half ago, God rocked my world and gave me success in weight loss for the first time in 100 years (or so it felt like!) , I was totally happy with the success of it all. I felt great, stronger, like for the first time I could accomplish a goal. In doing so God broke off a number of lids in my life regarding what I could accomplish.

Over time, I have slipped back into my old eating ways. Thankfully, I have not gained a whole lot back, but I do FEEL yucky like the old days. I have suddenly found myself thinking in the way I used to think, and dealing with those feelings in old ways.

There is a cycle that follows those who don't eat well and then gain weight. There is a sense of hopelessness to the whole situation, as day after day after day, you promise yourself that today I will stick to the 'holy' plan, only to succumb right after breakfast! For too many years, I lived beating myself up about the food I was putting into my mouth, and I thought that I had gotten a major breakthrough, that I was free!!!! Except like a lot of battles, merely gaining the ground is not enough, you have to fight to keep it!

All the way through my weight loss, I knew that I knew that God had done a big work in me just to be able to make the better choices and stick to them. It was all God. But I think over time, as I ate whatever I wanted to, and found that I didn't gain that much, I started to make a fatal mistake. I started to take credit for the weight loss, and for the changes in my life style. They became a source of pride (not in a good way!), and part of my identity. As time went on, I felt this accomplishment slipping away at the same rate as my jeans got a little tighter, and I suddenly felt myself being who I used to be. And I panicked every time I made a plan to get back on track and failed. I began to wonder why God had removed his grace from this area of my life.

In dealing with these feelings, I began to chat with a friend who has struggled with smoking on and off for years, and she has resolved and tried to quit more times than I can count. At one point she was doing quite well, and then something happened and she was back to it. She too felt like God had withdrawn the grace for the victory.

I began to think. What if there are moments in our lives where God does a great work, but requires of us that we continue to rely on Him to continue to see the victory in that area? What if occasionally He re-draws the line of our dependence on Him?

I think of the kids in my life and the times when they are doing something new, they are so determined to do it on their own and depending on what it is, I will stand by and watch, occasionally offering my help. Frequently what happens is help is needed but not for the WHOLE task, just for the next step. So I assist when asked, then take my hands off to allow for the learning to continue, until the next hurdle. I have noticed as they grow and get stronger, I find I stand just a little further away from them, because it helps me to see the big picture of what they are trying to accomplish, and they don't need me with my hand on their back like they did when they were toddlers.

Occasionally, they get to a point where they are stuck or don't know what to do next, an offer of help often is responded to with "no thanks, I can do it" followed by a long pause, then "umm... auntie Laura, could you help me?" With a smile, I always step in, but I need to wait to be asked. It makes sense that God responds similarly to us. I don't suppose that it is fair then, to wonder where His grace has gone, when we choose not to utilize it!

Is there an area of your life that needs God's help?

Weekend Reflections

I spent the weekend with 2 of my fave people in the whole wide world. My 8 year-old niece and my 5 year-old nephew. We did lots of fun stuff and have a great time. I am trying very hard to squeeze in as much time with them as I can before I go away for 6 months.

There are always challenges that come with kids who miss their parents and aunties who are tired from the shift into 'parenthood'. It is so much fun though, despite the challenges to stop and take stock of who these little people are becoming. The older they get, the more we recognize the personality traits that were present all along. I recall looking at baby pictures and seeing an expression that we thought was just 'cute' but we see now that it holds all the compassion and caring that is so much a part of who she is becoming as a young lady. In the same way, those big blue eyes and dimples he has had everyday of his life, continue to melt any amount of frustration or tiredness even when meting out consequences of his poor choices.

Coming home from a weekend with the kids, I always have a long list of examples of how my life with them is like my life with God. For weeks after, I will be in situations and God will whisper to me "do you remember with the kids... that is the same with me". It has seemed that my walk and development in the spirit has mirrored their physical development. When they were babies, God spoke to me about complete dependence on Him, as they are getting older and more independant, God is speaking to me about a maturing process in my life. Always it has to do with the sentiment expressed in Matt 7:9-11

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

I think of the things that I am willing to do for those kids...... and that is me who is EVIL....... God is amazing!! Think about that!

One of only...

I have never been driven to be the best at anything. I have never desired the status that comes from being first. It never made any sense to me why people stand in line for hours to watch a movie on opening night.... I figure it will be the same movie 3 weeks from now when I watch it in a half empty theatre where I had my pick of seats.
Lately though, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be "one of only..." I recently was selected to attend a training program/interview process for a really amazing job. For 2 weeks they put us through the paces, and we knew that there were more candidates than job offers. Right from the get-go it was instilled into us that we were the elite. 3000 resumes, 250 interviews, 100 candidates, and only 75 positions. It was truly an honour to be selected for the training.
Even more amazing perhaps is that in being chosen for the position, I realized, they have only run this program 5 times before, and only 75 people per session, means that for this exact job, only about 400 people in all of Canada have ever done what I am going to do! It makes you stop and think for a moment.
It is strange that in some circumstances we take our value and worth from the number of people we rank higher than. In other circumstances it is the fact that a pool is so limited that makes it so special.
Even though we spend our lives being ranked and judge either by how many we have overcome or by how limited the numbers we share our experiences with, with God, EVERYONE is exactly the same.... we are ALL sinners. The great levelling ground of our lives is in the declaration from God that we all need Jesus. Even more incredible is that even our sins are not ranked, God views each one as equal to the other. Amazingly then, the Bible says that we cannot boast in ourselves, because Christ is the sacrifice that makes grace possible-it is not of ourselves.
Yet, within this massive crowd of humanity that we stand shoulder to shoulder with, equally in need of salvation, Jesus is somehow able to draw us out, one-by-one, to meet our needs and to approach us in a unique way that says "You are my one and only. You are my beloved". Only once in all of human history, has a perfect, sinless, holy man, met the requirements that I, yet another sinner, needed for my salvation. To draw a very poor analogy..... that would be like destroying the Mona Lisa because the frame was the perfect size for my niece's drawing. But that is the value that God places on my life and yours. For Him, the sacrifice, while painful, was the entire point-as if da Vinci painted the masterpiece solely so that four hundred years later the frame would be available!
What do I do with my 'status? I whine and complain that I am not 'further along' in my walk, I ignore the prompting of God to dream bigger dreams, but what I think is most sad of all........ I forget..... I am one of only....... ONE...... loved by God, treasured, beloved, redeemed child of the most High..... guess what......

SO ARE YOU!!!

As Promised

We lost another hero. Another life spent in service to others. This time in a tragic accident. The tears don't know the difference, the loss no less painful. We think of his family and mates who are left behind. To you all, we say "Thank You"

In whose strength?

I had a realization this week. I have been preparing to make my journey overseas to work in an environment that is very challenging physically as well as spiritually. I had been approaching my preparations with the thought that I would have to have a self-perpetuating faith, a faith that doesn’t require the input and teaching of a community to keep the boiling point high. God has built us to need community, yet calls us to individual faith.

In my life, this requires a new level of pressing in, and seeking God’s face. I have realized just how much I am reliant on and crave the teaching I get at church to keep me going. As I have stepped back from a number of different commitments where I have been able to exercise faith and talk openly and see lives change, I have noticed that I had not fared quite as well as I thought I would. I began to rest on my own strength, to steel myself for the ‘fight’ of life, and I got whipped around by the waves. I noticed that after a couple of weeks of this, I was frustrated, angry and very very lonely.
As I pressed into God during worship on Sunday, I heard from the Lord on this point. I heard His gentle rebuke. I realized that not only was I trying to do this in my own strength, but that I had forgotten that God is going to be where I am going. He has not stopped at the border and stood aside and expected me to go ahead of Him. He is there, waiting, He has prepared hearts to hear the gospel, He has set up divine appointments already where I will be able to see God’s hand at work.
Even more interesting than that, is the fact that not only had my spiritual attitude changed slightly, but my outlook on a number of different issues that God had walked me into victory.
I realize just how weak my flesh is, how much I am desperate for the presence of God, and how even the things that we think ‘we’ have overcome, are not in our own strength, but in His.

Law of Diminishing Returns

There is a law that states that the more often something shocking happens, the less shocking it becomes. The same holds true with the highs from addictions, or the thrill from an adrenaline inducing experience.





Sadly, the same law seems to apply in the media. It used to be that a soldier killed in combat was headline news, it was the lead story. But 84 deaths later, and I have noticed that the stories are buried deeper and deeper. Now, it is hard to hear about at all. This is not acceptable. EVERY life is precious, election results from another country (even the states) should NOT override the tribute that our soldiers deserve. I am making a commitment to mark EVERY soldier's story on this blog. Nothing is more important than thanking those who are willing to stand in the gap.





Today, sadly there is one more picture to post. One more family devastated, one more hero lost to us.

When we forget to value the sacrifices, we lose a part of ourselves. We cannot turn a blind eye.

Good Friends by the Carload!

I love the community of believers that comes with belonging to a great church. I have had the amazing privilege of hosting a group of amazing people who visit friends of mine. They have often stayed in my home and it has been so amazing to get to know a group of young adults who are so passionate about the things of God, and who are giving thier lives to those around them. These are the next generation of amazing leaders!

I am inspired by their faith, their strength and their leadership. With these people in leadership, there is nothing that the next generation cannot achieve!

Liquid Nitrogen....

I hear conflicting reports about dealing with sin. There are those who say that sin must be dealt with ruthlessly, That effort and time must be put in to eradicate it from our lives. Then there are others who would say that God is a gentleman and never would impose His will on our lives. That His approach is an invitation to bigger things. Although these seem to be completely different world views of God and sin, I now see that they are inter-connected and both right.

Recently, I went to the doctor with a number of very minor concerns. I am preparing to go away for 6 months, and this has created an urgency in me to ask all those questions that one puts off for another day. One of the very minor questions I asked was about a spot on my finger. Initially I thought it was a sliver that had sort of grown over and created a callous but 1.5 years (yes, YEARS) later it has not changed or grown or healed and so I asked the question.... what is this? The doctor told me it was a wart and he could take care of it in the office immediately. All it would take was some Liquid Nitrogen.

So, how is a wart like sin? As I sit here, there are 42 different paths that I could take to answer this question, but I will follow on the original tack.

Let me tell you about my doctor, he is an older gentleman, soft spoken, caring, and kind, yet he knows what he is doing and is very good at it. He is quick to set you at ease, and takes the time to help you understand what the situation is. He came back into the office with the liquid nitrogen and prepared to take care of my wart. Suddenly I realized that extreme cold, and my water-filled skin cells weren't going to get along very well! I asked if it was going to hurt, he assured me that it would hurt, but not too much. With strength that I couldn't have imagined he held my finger in one hand and applied the liquid nitrogen right on the spot where the wart is, then he held it there.. for a long time. As he did this, he explained that the cold kills the cells of the wart and that they die and fall off. He mentioned that he was going to do a second application to ensure that we got to the root of it. It is now a few days later, and the spot still hurts, but I know that soon I will see the benefit as this wart falls off my finger.

It seems to me that this is a great metaphor for sin. God IS a gentleman, He does invite us to be in relationship with Him. If we follow His advice and counsel, we are in good hands. Just like my doctor would not have come and found me at home, held me down and applied the same treatment, God doesn't force Himself on us. I do know from personal experience though, when we invite God into our lives, and ask His assistance with sin, once we submit, the procedure of dealing with sin MUST be ruthless, can be painful, and it sometimes needs to be repeated. God's strength is sufficient to not only deal with the surface, but to get right down into the root.

Grace is sufficient and abundant for those moments when we see the sin, yet are not ready to deal with it-just yet. We all have people around us who we see their warts (and they see ours) and our temptation is to deal with THEM ruthlessly. That is not our job, God doesn't invade your life, and He won't invade others' lives. But He does call to us in the night, He does make us uncomfortable, He does give us opportunities to draw close.... then, just when we are ready.... HE takes us in His arms, assures us that although it's likely going to hurt, HE has the answer and the cure. Then He goes to work.... ruthlessly..... lovingly.

Is there a 'wart' in your life that you need treatment for?

Heart breaking......

The next step... another level of the horrific nature of what we are fighting against in Afghanistan. This breaks my heart.

We need to pray.

This puts our soldiers in an even more precarious position. Suddenly, even children become a threat, how can we fight against this foe?

What would you do?

As I recently posted, I am going overseas for 6 months on a job opportunity that is over the top amazing! I am so excited about it. There is one area that requires more preparation and thought than the others. I am confident that I have the physical equipment that I need, the little comforts of home and all of that, but I am not sure I have the spiritual equpiment that I need.

I suppose it could be argued that all one needs on a long trip away from home is one's Bible, and that should sustain. I suppose that if I was the great Christian that I wanted to be, that would be enough. I know though, that I need a wider variety of spiritual inputs in order to keep my boiling point high.

Th environment that I will be working in, is one that not only has very little input spiritually, but it also will be very draining. I think it would be challenging even if I was here at home, even more so being away from the community I rely on so much.

Even as I write this, I know that God will sustain me because He has called me to this. I have been praying for a long time to have a self-perpetuating faith that doesn't rely on others for its strength. Now that I not to say that we don't need one another, rather that sometimes I think we rely too much on one another and not enough on our relationship with God.

So, here is my question.......

If you were going to be away from all of your spiritual supports for 6 months... what would you pack to take with you?

Contentment

Contentment is a big struggle for a lot of people. God encourages us in the Bible to dream big dreams, and to do great things for Him. But then, paradoxically, there are entreaties to contentment, to bloom where you are planted, and to make the most of every situation. As a single person, my biggest desire was that the unmet desire for a husband would magically disappear. I always felt like as long as it was still a want in my life, I never really would be surrendered to God. This became, as I think it does for many, a topic at issue with the Lord. It was easy to say BUT GOD, YOU PUT THIS HERE, fill it, or take it away. I think I just mis-understood contentment.

Do you sometimes fight with the tension of appreciating the now, but eager for the hope of tomorrow's promise?

I talk to mothers who are struggling with the stage of life their kids are in and want to get to the next stage, but know that this is a one-shot deal "there are no re-runs". What about the people who are working in the job that God has given them for today, but nursing massive dreams?

We are encouraged in scripture to dream God-sized dreams. Nehemiah dreamt of the walls being rebuilt, Moses dreamt of a promised land, David dreamt about bringing the Ark of the covenant back into the temple.

How do live in the now and the not yet??

I was listening to a Joyce Meyer podcast and (as always) something little that she said, carried a life-changing truth. She said "contentment does not equal apathy".

It's possible that we think of contentment as a place to arrive at and be totally OK with. I often think of contentment as the perfect place that I just want to camp out in and tuck my head into the chest of God and live there, that nothing else will ever pique my interest or catch my eye.

And that is the struggle..... but contentment is not a place, or a destination. It is not apathy!

I have always heard it, but now I think I better understand it when we say "contentment is an attitude". I am starting to see that contenment creeps up into your life not in a momentary epiphany, but rather in a slow realization that your heart and mind are different. That things just are different!

What do you think about contentment?

Counting Down

I am heading overseas for an extended employment opportunity! I can't wait, this has been in the works for few months, and in my heart for over a year! My departure date is less than 60 days away! It seems simultaneously too much and not enough time!

The Word of God says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". I believe that God built into us a need and a desire to have something to look forward to, and yet as soon as there is a firm date... time seems to drag!

I have been counting down in one way or another for over a year- I have been counting down the pounds left to lose to hit my goal, I have been counting down the number of weeks left in my income, the number of dollars in my bank account! I suppose we all have to take stock of where we stand in our lives as it helps us mark our progress or assures us of our success.

What are you counting down to?

The Lord's Prayer

Do you ever feel like your voice is lost in the millions of voices?

In the province of Ontario there is a push to remove the Lord's Prayer from being read at the opening of sessions. This has long been a contentious issue all over the country. At the risk of sounding like an alarmist Christian, I think that one of the reasons that Ontario is struggling financially is because we have a leader who is working very hard to abolish all things of God. He is seeking to win a greater base of voters by pushing a heavy multi-cultural agenda. Unfortunately in our Canadian culture, multi-cultural ism has created a situation where, often, it seems like the minorities' cultures are valued above traditional Canadian cultures.

We no longer say "Merry Christmas", the Lord's Prayer has been removed from schools, and teachers are required to give all religions equal time - even when they are not adequately qualified to represent those faiths with accuracy!

So you can have a say...

If you want a simple way to be part of the legislative process.

Please go to www.ontla.on.ca which is our Legislature Assembly website. Scroll down the page to click Consultation on prayer in the Legislature Assembly. You only need to fill in the 3 yellow shaded areas marked with *.

Comments

Things have changed a little at lauracoxworth.com.....

The comments will now be moderated-for a variety of reasons. I have a new role in my life that requires some additional discretion, and so, to avoid any unintentional problems with people's comments I will be moderating them!

ALL comments are soo appreciated, however, not all comments can be published under the new constraints!

To the Nations

Canada, as many of you know is a nation whose spiritual destiny is to the other nations of the world. Everytime a prophetic word comes to us in Canada, there is always a reaching out aspect. I love it. I think that it fits nicely with the ethos of our country. We have always been a nation that will look beyond it's own boarders to ensure the peace and tranquility of other nations. We did it in our Peacekeeping around the world, we do it with our immigration policies, our citizens do it through humanitarian activites. This is not to presume to say that Canada is the ONLY country doing it, merely that we have always been a nation of 'goers'.

I believe that we haven't even begun to see how the world can be changed when Canadians find their true strength in the power of God, and begin to sow seeds of healing around the world. The Bible talks about the leaves for healing, and so it is no coincidence that our national flag includes a leaf.

I recently attended a conference on the war in Afghanistan. I learned MANY great and interesting things. One of the seminars was about the morale and wellness programs that a civilian arm of the Canadian Forces provides to Canadian soldiers in combat theatres around the world, most especially in Kandahar. I heard about the Tim Horton's coffee (for those who are not Canadians, Tim Horton's is a coffee and donut place that is as much a part of our collective culture as.... football to the Americans) , the retail stores, the fitness programs. All of these programs are provided to the Soldiers by CANADIAN CIVILIANS who take time out of their lives 6 months at a stretch to go and serve the troops.

I also learned that we are the only nation in Kandahar that sends our own civilians. There are 16 nations that are part of the war in Afghanistan and on the base there, and we are the only ones who have 'familliar' faces providing these services to the troops. Our people know their language, they know the places the soldiers are from, and often times, they know the soldiers themselves. How comforting would that be as a soldier?

The even cooler part of this whole situation is that the retail locations serve ALL NATIONS! It doesn't take new soldiers of any nation very long to find out that Tim's has the best service and the best coffee. I heard all sorts of stories from around the world of troops from as far away as Denmark whose tour in Afghanistan was made more tolerable by the work that our people are doing. It is and it is not about the coffee, though. I heard over and over that the impact was made by the people themselves, working behind the counters of the retail locations. Canadians are out there touching the lives of people around the world.

This is ALL done by a government agency who doesn't even begin to touch on the spiritual needs!! If simply being Canadian qualifies us, then how much more does being a Christian Canadian mean that if we just 'get' how much God is desperate to see the nations of the world touched for the Gospel!! We have it in us.... go, make disciples, touch the nations.

What does this mean???

Has anyone else noticed that supermarket ice cream doesn't actually melt???

When I was a kid, we used to wait for our ice cream to melt a bit and then we would stir it around and around to make a soft serve type dessert. If you left a carton out for long enough though, it would turn to liquid pretty quickly! This has all changed. A few years ago, I plopped (by accident) ice cream on my counter, it was a premuim brand, and it happened to stay there for about a week..... (Ddon't judge me, for I am new creation!) It was incredible. There was no change in the consistency or colour or anything! It just stayed there for a week, until I had to scrape it off with a kinfe!

This weekend, I had copious amounts of girl time, ergo, copious amounts of icecream (it's what we do, right ladies?) On 2 different occasions with 2 different brands and 2 different flavours, I noticed the same thing. Ice cream no longer melts to a liquid form, it merely morphs into some strange plastic looking goop that just 'is'. It makes me wonder what could they possibly be putting in those cartons, that we, in turn, are ingesting.

It makes you wonder!

Living on Faith

Often throughout my adult life I have heard amazing stories of men and women of God who followed the leading of the Lord and that created a situation where their income was far below what was necessary to pay the bills. There are always amazing stories of sitting down to dinner with the family when there was no food on the table or in the house, and just believing God for provision.

I grew up in an upper middle class family where the lack of at least 2 high end cuts of steak was tantamount to impending doom. It wasn't always like that.. or so my parents tell me. I know that there were some lean years, but I was too young to have any sort of memory of that time. So for as long as I can recall, there has never been cause for alarm. We always felt secure at home, that we would be provided for. Even into my young adult years I would often "grocery shop" from my mother's fridge if the need required it.

So when I hear stories of living on faith with a family along, I am torn. I am torn between the prayers of "God I don't think that I could handle that" and "God, it would be so cool to know your faithfulness to that level..... please don't ever ask me to do that... but it would be cool!" I have friends who are missionaries and every penny that comes into their home and ministry is from donations. I have seen God's faithfulness to them all through that time.

This last year has been quite an adventure. It has been a journey of evolving faith and trust in God's ability and willingness to take care of me. Although I haven't quite gotten to the point of setting a table with no food in the house, I have come pretty close to it. God has allowed the systems of the world, and divine timing to work together to provide for me. There are so many things that I have learned, but that is for later.

I recently was offered a contract overseas. It begins in July and lasts for 6 months. Awesome... I am pumped.... except that all outside sources of income stopped at the end of April, and one of my tenants moved out (they were paying the mortgage!). In order to go overseas, there are quite naturally some things that need to be purchased... so I was thinking that there wasn't going to be enough to make it through the 2 months income-free.

BUT GOD..... has other plans...

I got a call about a part-time job... some residual income from a contract that I had... and when I add everything together.... take out 2 month's expenses-including record gas prices!- THERE IS $40.00 LEFT OVER!!!! How is it possible???? God.

I have a sneaking suspicion that God is raising my faith level for some purpose down the road... and like the kind Father that He is, He is easing me in slowly. If I had been asked this time last year to be in this situation, I would have FREAKED out!!! Today though, I am backed far enough against a wall that I have no choice but to trust God!

Call to Prayer

Every once in a while God chooses to tie up loose ends. About this time last year, I began to experience something very strange. I started waking up almost every night at 3:30 am. For no reason that was clear. I wasn't thirsty, in need of the restroom, or too hot or too cold- I just would wake up, be awake for about 5 minutes, and then back to sleep. After about 3 weeks of this, I mentioned it to a friend who asked "what are you supposed to be praying for?" as if it was the most obvious thing in world. I am ashamed to say that I had not even thought of that!!

I began to follow this advice. During these special times, I developed a deeper heart for the Muslim community. I pray regularly for those in authority, for the warriors on both sides, and especially for the people of Afghanistan who are caught in the middle of a very difficult situation.

Recently, I was in a seminar about Islam. What an interesting eye-opening seminar. The most interesting thing that I learned though, was that the Muslim's day begins with prayer...... at 3:30am!!!

Suddenly I knew, I understood why God had started to wake me up at that time, and why this time of prayer evolved into prayer for Muslims! How great is our God!!

Taking a Break!

I am off for 2 weeks of training for a new job I hope to get. There will be limited time/Internet Access, so I might not be able to post. The nature of the training would seem to me to be rife with blogging opportuniies... so stay tuned!